By Eli Rosenberg

The Brooklyn Paper

This Valentine’s Day, don’t wait until the end of the night to take your clothes off.

Hundreds of nearly naked Brooklynites will indulge in all the steamy pleasures of a Russian bath house — plus pierogis, Russian fare and an open vodka bar — at Brooklyn Banya’s annual Valentine’s Day bash.

“The banya [party] … is aimed at funky artsy offbeat creative types,” in their 20s and 30s, said Larisa Fuchs, founder of Gemini and Scorpio, a production company that’s been throwing the wet and wild party since 2006.

Elaborate get-ups are optional at this dress-down party — but props are heavily encouraged.

“Funky hats, sunglasses, robes, beach wear … our crowd knows how to dress up even if they’re not wearing much!” said Fuchs.

The sauna-ready Hungry March Band will provide the evening’s raucous soundtrack as revelers indulge in the spa’s various steam rooms; hot, cold, and eucalyptus-infused baths; massages; and, of course, steaming hot pierogis ‘til 2 am.

Committed lovers take note: just because it’s a group event doesn’t mean couples should stay at home.

“It was always important … that the red-flag difference between ‘singles’ and ‘couples’ on this highly charged day wouldn’t even matter,” said Fuchs. “We believe that every party is a singles party [and] any social situation is a potential boost to your dating life.”

Valentine’s Day at the Brooklyn Banya [602 Coney Island Ave. between Beverly Road and Avenue C, (718) 853-1300] Feb. 14, 7 pm. Tickets $35 and up, 21+. For info, visit www.geminiandscorpio.com.

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By Aaron Short

The Brooklyn Paper

Pucker up, Brooklyn!

You don’t have to stray too far from home this Valentine’s Day to visit some of the city’s most romantic spots.

So put on a coat, grab your main squeeze, and make some memories at the borough’s loveliest places — before you get the urge to rush back indoors and make some more.

Brooklyn Botanic Garden, Park Slope

Did you know there are over 12,000 kinds of plants at the Brooklyn Botanic Garden?

Unfortunately, most of them are dead this time of year.

But that shouldn’t rule out a trip to the Botanic Garden where you can gaze at its South African bulb collection the Steinhardt Conservatory’s Warm Temperate House, or see some frighteningly named hellebores and a few freakish daffodils at the southern end of the garden.

And if you’re looking for love, the garden hosts several perennial parties, cacaoprieto.com/prieto-providing-chocolate-rum-for-brooklyn-botanic-garden-lush-event/.">including an salsa dance party on Friday night.

“The garden is one of the best places to meet someone male or female who is not a creep,” said Botanic Garden spokeswoman Kate Blumm. How about that!

Coney Island Boardwalk, Coney Island

Just because the rides are closed doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the splendors of the People’s Playground.

Take a stroll on the boardwalk, and pull your date in tight as the wind whips toward you at 30 miles an hour off the harbor. Plus, there are plenty of places off the beach to swoop in for a bite; one of our favorites is Tatiana Restaurant, where fish swim in a glass dance floor while you eat.

Ocean Avenue Footbridge, Sheepshead Bay

If Coney’s not your thing, here’s another quietly romantic spot at the other end of the bay.

Walk down Emmons Avenue toward Manhattan Beach and turn onto the wooden planks of the Ocean Avenue footbridge. The salty air and view of sailboats bobbing in the bay should put you and your date in the mood for some Manhattan clam chowder at Randazzo’s Clam Bar, just across the street.

Brooklyn Bridge Park, DUMBO

Brooklyn’s newest park is its grandest — and you should take full advantage now that the crowds are sparse.

Walk though the frozen sod to Pier 1 at sunset and catch the golden rays of winter’s setting sun refract off the silvery Manhattan skyline — and pull your date in tight for a smooch.

Then get on your high horse for a nostalgic ride on Jane’s Carousel — but try not to kiss while you’re motion because if you fall, you’ll get ground into hamburger in the ride’s powerful gears.

Commandant Mansion at Little and Evans Streets, Vinegar Hill

At the top of Vinegar Hill at Little and Evans Streets, there’s the stately Commandant Mansion, which was built in 1805 and has been part of the Brooklyn Navy Yard since 1964.

The Federal-style house is privately owned, so good luck sneaking inside, but the secluded cul-de-sac happens to be a favorite make-out spot for our friends at L Magazine. We suggest topping it off with a lovely brunch at Vinegar Hill House.

Brooklyn Bridge

Generations of lovers have scaled the pedestrian footpath of the Brooklyn Bridge and declared their intentions.

Want some proof?

Check out all those obnoxiously engraved locks bolted to metal rings on the bridge’s east side stanchion.

Valentine’s Day may not exactly be the best time to tie the knot, or in this case lock it down, but if your date is willing to follow you onto what is likely going to be the coldest, windiest place in the borough, for no good reason whatsoever, then you’ve probably got yourself a keeper.

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By Sarah Zorn

for The Brooklyn Paper

Candle light. Romantic poems. Your significant other doing the dishes for once in his or her life. All these go a long way to fan the flames of passion on Valentine’s Day — but nothing stirs the soul (and body) quite as effectively as a bar of 72% chocolate, a glass of red wine, and maybe an avocado thrown in for good measure.

That’s because they’ve long been considered to be natural aphrodisiacs — foods that induce sexual desire by increasing serotonin levels and boosting blood flow while tasting devastatingly delicious, all at the same time.

Want to get some real bang for your buck this Valentine’s Day (pun intended)? The aphrodisiac-loving dishes at these great area restaurants will definitely double your pleasure — and double your fun.

The Owl’s Head: Red Wine

Nothing gets the juices flowing like a perfect glass of red wine, and the sultry vinos served at Bay Ridge newcomer The Owl’s Head will get any night started off right. “Like the love between two people, each different wine has received a very particular treatment before it reaches the table,” said owner John Avelluto. “It’s upon pulling the cork that we get to share in a complex romance within the bottle and, now, with the person we clink our glasses with.” Extra credit in the romance department if you pair your soft and velvety glass of Rio Madre Rioja with a stimulating chocolate hazelnut bread pudding ($8), or a stamina-boosting lobster ceviche with blood orange and tarragon ($12).

The Owl’s Head [479 74th St. between Fourth and Fifth avenues in Bay Ridge, (718) 680-2436].

Jacques Torres: Chocolate

When it comes to the king of aphrodisiacs, it’s a no-brainer to hit up Mr. Chocolate in DUMBO. Sure you can go for hand-rolled truffles, choco lollipops or edible “I Luv U Puzzles,” but the Wicked Hot Chocolate ($18) — a decadent chocolate drinking mix with a rush of endorphin-releasing chili peppers — will deliver a one-two-punch to your sexy parts.

Jacques Torres [66 Water St. at Main Street in DUMBO, (718) 875-9772].

Caracas Arepa Bar: Avocados

The Venezuelan corn patties at this popular ‘Billyburg spot bear no relation to those greasy gut bombs peddled at street fair food carts. Our heart races for the La del Gato ($6.75) — packed with salty guayanes cheese, fried sweet plantains, and sensuous slices of creamy avocado that will leave your taste buds tingling — and your blood pumping to all the right places.

Caracas Arepa Bar [291 Grand St. between Roebling and Havemeyer streets in Williamsburg, (718) 218-6050].

Yiasou Estiatorio: Beets, garlic, almonds

Pantzaria salad ($7.50) — marinated baby beets with the potato-garlic-almond spread skordalia — may not sound like the sexiest dish going in, but the body- and soul-altering properties of its aphrodisiacal ingredients make it a potent potion indeed.

Yiasou [2003 Emmons Ave. at Ocean Avenue in Sheepshead Bay, (718) 332-6064].

Press 195: Bananas

Can a sandwich be sexy? Hell yeah, if it’s a Banana Bread Press ($10), stuffed with fresh banana and strawberry slices, pure maple syrup (or Nutella), ice cream, and candied walnuts. “It’s creamy, sweet and delicious,” said manager Cameron Lewyn, “and meant to serve two, so sharing it with a loved one makes it sexy right off the bat.”

Press 195 [195 Fifth Ave. between Berkeley Place Sackett street in Park Slope, (718) 857-1950].

Walter’s: Honey

This elegant Fort Greene restaurant is a given for romantic, Valentine’s Day interludes — especially when you order up a plate of finger-licking fried chicken slathered in sweet and sticky swirls of spicy honey ($16). Don’t forget to share.

Walter’s [166 DeKalb Ave. between Carlton Avenue and Cumberland Street in Fort Greene, (718) 488-7800].

Piccoli To Go: Asparagus, basil

You won’t need to hail a cab home after experiencing the stimulating effects of the Pesto Genovese ($9.50) at this tasty takeaway spot. The homemade fettuccini with creamy pesto and asparagus easily reheats at home — as will you.

Piccoli [157 Prospect Park SW between Vanderbilt and Seeley streets in Windsor Terrace, (718) 788-0006].

Beast tapas + lounge: Figs

Exotic, succulent figs are effortlessly sensual, and displayed to delicious effect at Beast tapas + lounge in Prospect Heights. “It’s like stepping into the Garden of Eden without all the rules,” said chef/owner D.S. Bicknese of her caramelized onion and fig pesto tart with goat cheese and watercress salad ($13). We’re sold!

Beast [638 Bergen St. between Carlton and Vanderbilt avenues in Prospect Heights, (718) 399-6855].

Five Leaves: Oysters

As far as edible aphrodisiacs are concerned, no one would kick the libido-enlivening oyster out of bed — and when your sweetie tosses back a ½ dozen market mollusks ($15) at this genial, Aussie eatery — she’ll be pulling you back in for another go-round, too.

Five Leaves [18 Bedford Ave. between Lorimer Street and Nassau Avenue in Greenpoint, (718) 383-5345].

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By Sarah Zorn

for The Brooklyn Paper

What’s in an aphrodisiac? Suggestive shapes and mind-altering compounds make the following foods so damn sexy.

Red Wine

Besides being intoxicating — literally — red wine contains resveratrol, which boots blood flow and improves circulation before and after intercourse.

Chocolate

Pure chocolate contains a host of feel-good compounds, including phenylethylamine — which releases dopamine in the pleasure centers of the brain and peaks during orgasm.

Avocados

Referred to by the ancient Aztecs as the “testicle tree.” Catholic Priests in Spain also found the fruit so overtly sexual that they forbade it. Good thing we don’t live there, am I right?

Beets

Not only are beets high in boron — which produces sexual hormones and improves the immune system — they play host to the isobutyl methoxy pyrazine compound; the most powerfully stimulating smell on earth.

Garlic

This potent allium is full of allicin, which increases blood flow.

Almonds

Long regarded as a fertility symbol, the aroma of almonds supposedly arouses passion in women.

Bananas

More than just a sight gag, bananas contain the bromeliad enzyme, said to enhance the male libido.

Honey

The sweet stuff is loaded with boron, a mineral that helps metabolize estrogen and enhances testosterone levels, promoting sex drive in men and women.

Asparagus

These sexy spears are a great source of folic acid — which boosts histamine production necessary for achieving orgasm.

Basil

The stimulating scent of this sweet herb is said to set hearts aflutter. Also thought to boost fertility and promote circulation.

Figs

This fruit’s link with lust goes as far back as the Bible (Adam and Eve used the leaves to cover their private parts). An open fig is also thought to emulate the female sex organ.

Oysters

Sultry shape and alluring mouthfeel aside, oysters contain D-aspartic acid and N-methyl-D-aspartate, effective in releasing sexual hormones such as testosterone and estrogen.

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By Sarah Zorn

for The Brooklyn Paper

Four area restaurants double down, Bed Stuy loses brisket, and Carroll Garden’s builds a better burger in this week’s scrumptious serving of gossip.

Moo-sic to our ears

The grass-fed patties peddled at newcomer Burgersmith (which quietly opened for business a week ago on the corner of Baltic and Smith Streets, in the old Faan space) are enough to make you melt. The cow is ground daily at nearby butcher shop Paisanos and griddled on a cast iron flat top, before being slapped on special Portuguese muffins from Cape Cod. Vegans and pesco-pollo vegetarians will also find their perfect patty — turkey, quinoa-nut-veggie and seared rainbow trout options all grace the highly customizable menu.

Max’d out

Another top-tiered Manhattan joint (see Vanessa’s Dumpling House, Meatball Shop, Loreley, and Mama’s Food Shop before it) is setting down roots in the flourishing foodie haven of Williamsburg. The Wall Street Journal reports that Max, an established East Village favorite for simple, affordable red sauce Italian, is shuttering its original Avenue B spot and bringing penne and polpetti to Driggs Avenue this spring.

Give me some honey

In other expansion news, cozy Cobble Hill café Ted and Honey has opened a spacious new eatery called BLDG 92 at the Brooklyn Navy Yard Center. They now have a full-fledged catering division as well — Parker Red Culinary Events — which exclusively supplies food to the 8,000 square food event space. Caramelized banana and maple oatmeal for everyone!

Happy trailers

3rd Ward’s bygone Goods truck, a restored 1946 trailer that briefly peddled burgers, dogs, and fried green tomato sandwiches on the corner of Metropolitan Avenue and Lorimer Street, will see new life as an art deco-styled Mexican eats truck called Zona Rosa. According to dnainfo.com, the owners of Mesa Coyoacan will serve tacos and margaritas to Williamsburg revelers late into the night.

Set in stone

Brownstoner reports that Slope fave Stone Park Café is expanding into the shuttered Pizza Rustica space next door, opening a catering hall for scheduled, special events. We presume that doesn’t include emergency brunches for four at 12:30 pm on a Sunday morning.

Do the brew

Our friends at The Local (hey there, Kuntzman!) report that the DeKalb Market will boast a brand new wine-and-beer license when it reopens this spring. Cheeky Sandwiches, Robicelli’s cupcakes, indie designer duds and now craft suds too? Forget the Fulton Mall, come April, we’re not leaving Willoughby Street.

Brisket bummer

It’s a sad day for sliced meat: Fork in the Road reports that 1970’s-era deli, David’s Brisket, has closed. It was a true Brooklyn original — where else can you find exemplary pastrami, corned beef, and yes, brisket on rye, in a traditional Jewish deli run alternately by Jamaicans and devout Middle Eastern Muslims? Only in New York, my friends, only in New York.

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By Juliet Linderman

The Brooklyn Paper

So what if Valentine’s Day is a Hallmark holiday that reeks of consumerism, consumption and superficiality? If you’ve got a sweetheart, it’s a perfectly appropriate excuse to have a nice, romantic dinner and celebrate, you know, the birds and the bees. But more importantly, significant other or no significant other, it’s a day to honor, appreciate and revel in the most coveted, most delectable, most desirable thing in world. No, not love. Dessert. On Valentine’s Day, sweets take center stage, and you’re allowed — nay, encouraged — to eat them with reckless abandon. Here are a few of our absolute favorite sweet treats for your Valentine — even if you’re your own!

Jacques Torres heart-shaped I Love U puzzles

These chocolates have the delicious hallmark of being Jacques Torres, Brooklyn’s patron saint of chocolate, without being too cutesy-kitschy-Valentine’s Day. And whatever your sweetheart’s tastes may be — dark chocolate, milk chocolate or white chocolate — these treats cover all the bases (their puzzle pieces are mix and match).

I Love U chocolate puzzle at Jacques Torres [66 Water St. between Main and Dock streets in DUMBO, (718) 875-1269]. For info, visit www.mrchocolate.com.

Amy’s Cookies

This Sunset Park bakery totes out-of-this-world sugar cookies that fit the Valentine’s Day bill, whether you buy into the hype, or are just looking for a small, subtle treat for your sweetie. Try the Amy O’s, heart-shaped, chocolate-dipped sandwich cookies with fillings that include dark chocolate, espresso ganache or coffee liqueur buttercream; or a selection of buttery sugar cookies decked out in pink, white and red frosting. The best part? You can mix and match!

Amy’s Cookies [225 34th St. between Fourth and Fifth avenues in Sunset Park, (718) 797-1513]. For info, visit www.amyscookies.com.

Peter Pan Donuts

Stop right there — we know what you’re thinking: Donuts are not an appropriate Valentine’s Day gift because, well, they’re donuts. Yes, they are donuts, but they’re also the most decadent and delectable sweet treat you can find this side of the West River. And let us tell you, if our special someone showed up with a box full of Peter Pan’s famous white cream filled donuts with pink frosting and white sprinkles, or a half-dozen of those devilishly good red velvets filled with buttercream, we’d be speechless — in a good way.

Peter Pan Donuts [727 Manhattan Ave. between Norman and Meserole avenues in Greenpoint, (718) 389-3676].

Kumquat Cupcakery

These itty bitty cupcakes are bite sized and perfectly proportioned; the cake to frosting ratio is just right. And with flavor combinations such as lemon cake topped with lavender frosting, banana cake topped with peanut butter frosting and honey drizzle, coffee cake with caramel bourbon frosting, maple cinnamon cake with vanilla frosting and a slab of bacon, who says chocolate gets to have all the fun on Valentine’s Day?

Kumquat Cupcakery at the Brooklyn Flea [One Hanson Pl. at Flatbush Avenue in Downtown, (718) 783-5437]. For info, visit www.kumquatcupcakery.com.

Liddibit Sweets

Yes, plain dark chocolate can really do the trick on particularly sexy occasions such as Valentine’s Day, but why neglect other sweet treats that can be just as wickedly delicious? How about a Liddibit Sweets peanut butter and jelly candy bar, or a “slurtle” with beer, caramel, pretzels, potato chips and dark chocolate?

Liddibit Sweets at Greene Grape Provisions [753 Fulton St. at South Portland Avenue in Fort Greene, (718) 233-2700. For info, visit www.liddabitsweets.com.

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By Juliet Linderman

The Brooklyn Paper

All aboard!

Beginning Feb. 15, St. Ann’s Warehouse will host the Wooster Group theater company and the New York City Players as they perform three of legendary playwright Eugene O’Neill’s earliest one-acts from “The Glencairn plays,” each taking place at a different point during a sea voyage.

The three pieces — “Bound East for Cardiff,” “The Long Voyage Home,” and “The Moon of the Caribbees” — are all semi-autobiographical, drawing on O’Neill’s own experiences as a World War I-era seaman, both on and off the high seas. For this production, the Wooster Group’s acclaimed director Elizabeth LeCompte has asked Richard Maxwell of the New York City players to direct these plays, to spotlight pieces rarely produced by professional theater companies, and de-mystify works widely considered too prestigious to touch.

“The Wooster Group has done some incredible things with Eugene O’Neill, and changed the way we are able to look at and experience these plays,” said Jim Fletcher, a member of the New York City Players who will portray Big Frank in “The Moon in the Caribbees,” and Fat Joe in “Bound East for Cardiff.” “Suddenly, a Eugene O’Neill play can seem like the most modern thing in the world, and rightly so. It should be that way but it hasn’t been, because there’s a lot of theatrical weight that comes with him. Liz re-claimed it for everybody; she gave the body of work a new life, opening it up to possibility.”

The Glencairn Plays at St. Ann’s Warehouse [38 Water St. between Main and Dock streets in DUMBO, (718) 834-8794]. Feb. 15-March 4. For info, visit www.stannswarehouse.org.

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By Colin Mixson

The Brooklyn Paper

This singer-songwriter is part country dame and part city slicker — and she’s all about the love.

On Valentine’s Day, Cobble Hill’s own Risa Binder is releasing her debut album, “Paper Heart,” a heartfelt country tribute to loss, love and the pursuit thereof.

“It’s a feel good album,” said Binder. “It’s an album about the adventures of being in love, the highs and the lows, and learning to love yourself through that process.”

Binder, who admits she never listened to country growing up, fell head-over-heels for the western swing after portraying a certain country music star in a college play.

“I had to play Loreta Lynn in a show. I started doing research on her and that’s when I realized, country’s amazing,” said Binder. “I grew up listening to pop all the time, but then country came along, and that was it.”

After graduating college, Binder settled in Cobble Hill, in 2005 and, amidst frequent trips to Los Angeles and Nashville, trained herself in the art of song writing. After only a few months, she’d created “an arsenal of songs,” that later became “Paper Heart.”

“The process of making the album was so incredible; hearing the songs come to life like I’d never heard them,” said Binder. “When you write a song you’re telling a story, but when you hear the song it really comes to life.”

In the end, there’s two things that really set Binder apart from any other songwriter — her unmitigated honesty, and her expertly baked cupcakes: She’s an amateur baker, as well.

“I guess I just am exactly who I am, on stage and off,” said Binder. “I also bring homemade cupcakes to all my shows.”

Risa Binder’s “Paper Heart,” out Feb. 14. For purchasing info, visit www.risabinder.com.

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The Brooklyn Paper

It’s undeniable: love is in the air, Brooklyn! And as you gear up for Valentine’s Day, a holiday revered by some and loathed by others, take a moment to look around our fair borough and spend a few moments thinking about what you love most. For us, it’s the weekend!

• Want a hot, fresh hamburger at the trendiest place in town? On Friday, go get on line at Downtown’s brand spankin’ new Shake Shack on the Fulton Mall. The “Fudge-eddaboutit” concrete comes highly recommended — after all, it’s chock full of Mast Brothers chocolate and smothered in specialty chocolate-cinnamon sauce!

• Then, take a trip to the Brooklyn Museum to check out the video art exhibit, “Question Bridge,” an installation that explores the politics of race identity. While you’re there, stop by two new exhibitions, courtesy of a couple of Brooklyn-based up-and-comers.

• Rock on over to the borough’s longest happy hour and throw back a few beers — it’s Friday, after all. Our own reporter, Daniel Bush, survived the challenge!

• Afterwards, take a trek up to Greenpoint and check out No. 7 Sub, our borough’s latest and greatest contribution to the sub sandwich craze.

• Then, on Friday night, feel the love at the Heights Players performance of “Man of No Importance.”

• Or, on Friday night, you can revel in heartbreak at the “Just Working On My Breakup” reading at WORD in Greenpoint — don’t worry, it’ll be fun, we promise!

• On Saturday, go chow down on some delectable fondue at Cobble Hill’s favorite new neighbor, the Bourgeois Pig. Wash it down with a Kaiser’s Swizzle! It’s the weekend, after all — which means you’re free to drink in the afternoon.

• Don’t forget that by Saturday, Valentine’s Day is just three days away, which means you should probably start shopping for your sweetheart’s gift, if that’s what you’re into. Here’s our guide to the sexiest aphrodisiacal dishes in the borough (to help you snag a reservation), and a guide to the most delicious edible treats for your valentine. You’re welcome!

• Then, on Saturday, head to Factory Fresh in Bushwick where graffiti legend Skewville is celebrating 40 years in the street art game with a massive retrospective show. Think paint-splashed walls and wooden sneakers.

• For dinner, try Top Chef Dale Talde’s new eponymous eatery, Talde, in Park Slope; our own foodie-in-chief went nuts for the joint.

Wash it down with a beer — or five — at the Brooklyn Tap House, which boasts one of the largest beer selections in the city! Who wouldn’t wanna?

• On Saturday night, head to Williamsburg and check out “Follow the Leader” at Triskelion Gallery, an evening of short plays about cults.

• For dinner, try Top Chef Dale Talde’s new eponymous eatery, Talde, in Park Slope; our own foodie-in-chief went nuts for the joint.

Then, wash it down with a beer — or five — at the Brooklyn Tap House, which boasts one of the largest beer selections in the city! Who wouldn’t wanna?

• Wake yourself up on Sunday with a trip to the Williamsburg’s hottest — and coolest — coffee shop Toby’s Estate, all the way from the land down under!

• Then, hop over to Midwood and feast on a knish — hand-made by Brooklyn legend Mohamed Salem of Adelman’s Kosher Delicatessen! Trust us — these knishes are delicious.

• Still hungry? Great! Head to Park Slope and check out Va Beh, a scrumptious Italian outpost that makes a dreamy crostini.

• And as always, these and other great events are in our exclusive family calendar, our great nightlife calendar, and our matchless events calendar.

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