Dining: Here’s an offer you can’t pass up: Free food. On Sept. 18, dozens of eateries along Park Slope’s Seventh Avenue — the dowdy older brother to hot hip restaurant rows on Fifth Avenue and Smith Street — will be doling out hors d’oeuvres and other toothsome samples in the latest phase of the Park Slope Chamber of Commerce’s “Buy in Brooklyn” campaign. Comment.

Where to GO: Editors’ Picks

Blood on the snacks

Saturday, September 13: Today, Clinton Hill’s Pillow Cafe holds its second-annual Bloody Mary contest — but the real winner is you. Bartenders from Rustic, Bonita, Chez Oscar, Madiba and Alibi will battle it out for borough hegemony. Judging will be blind, we’re told. Of course, given how many drinks will get downed in the name of certitude.

4 pm. Pillow Cafe [505 Myrtle Ave., between Ryerson Street and Grand Avenue in Clinton Hill, (718) 246-2711]. $10 (includes a Bloody Mary).

Paperback writers

Sunday, September 14: Marty Markowitz may not look like he reads anything but a menu, but our beep has put together another classic Book Festival. This year’s lineup includes Jimmy Breslin, Joan Didion, Nathan Englander, Jonathan Franzen, Pete Hamill (pictured) and a whole nother two-thirds of the alphabet!

10 am to 6 pm. Borough Hall (209 Joralemon St., between Court and Adams streets). Full lineup at www.brooklynbookfestival.org.

Crash courses

Tuesday, September 16: Tonight, the “Adult Education” lecture series continues. This month’s topic is scandal — and Editor Gersh Kuntzman (pictured) will explain how Takeru Kobayashi cheated at this year’s hot dog contest and how he, Kuntzman, bears no culpability even though he, Kuntzman, was Kobayashi’s judge!

8 pm. Union Hall (702 Union St., between Fifth and Sixth avenues in Park Slope). $5. For info, visit www.adult-ed.net

Bloomers

Thursday, September 18: Can you beat this? The Gallery Players have just opened “The Underpants,” a classic German play, adapted by Steve Martin, about a woman whose underwear momentarily drops in public, setting off a chain of events that causes her husband to fear reprisals and his wife to become the object of significant affection. A must see.

8 pm. The Gallery Players (199 14th St., between Fourth and Fifth avenues in Park Slope). $18. Call (718) 595-0547 or visit galleryplayers.com for info.

Booze 101

Sunday, September 21: Don’t know the difference between rye and malt whiskey? Can’t tell your Canadian from your Irish? Is your Scotch on the rocks? Learn all about these delectable brown beverages from the great LeNell Smothers herself in this tasting.

3 pm. LeNell’s [416 Van Brunt St., between Coffey and Van Dyke streets in Red Hook, (718) 360-0838]. $75. Register in advance.

View the full nightlife and events calendars.

Eat pie, hot chiles or curly fries

By Daniel Bush and Gersh Kuntzman

Event: It’s the fall “Events” preview! Comment.

A big pop reunion and first-time rockers

By Daniel Bush

Music: The Feelies have rejoined for a show in Williamsburg — the same neighborhood that will host a festival of new bands. Comment.

Your guide to all the big shows

By Daniel Bush

Art: From the DUMBO galleries to that big museum on Eastern Parkway, here’s your fall art preview. Comments (1).

Between the covers

By Daniel Bush

Books: Rick Moody has a new book — plus a complete oral history of Brooklyn. Comments (1).

From “The Underpants” to the war in Iraq.

By Daniel Bush and Gersh Kuntzman

Theater: Here’s what’s on stage this fall. Comment.

Chop chop

By Gersh Kuntzman

Dining: Come on, admit it: you want to learn how to butcher a pig. Comment.

There is no god

By Mike McLaughlin

Event: The leading lobbyist for one of the largest, but weakest, special interest groups — the “non-theistic” — is coming to Park Slope to champion the oft-elusive separation of church and Sarah Palin. Comment.

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Where to GO: Editors’ Picks

Blood on the snacks

Paperback writers

Crash courses

Bloomers

Booze 101

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