Saturday, January 31: It’s one of the rarest delicacies in the world, it’s brown, and it came out of an Indonesian cat’s ass. Yes, it’s Kopi Luwak, coffee made from beans that have been pre-digested! It only comes from the East Indies, but now you can get a free sample of this precious caca coffee today in Park Slope. If you want to buy some of the brown stuff, bring some green, because the coffee retails for $120–$600 a pound.

Sunday, February 1: There’s nothing more American than watching overgrown, ’roided-out meat mountains smashing together on a field of plastic grass. In other words, it’s time for the Super Bowl (XLIII, in case you’re counting at home). Whether you’re watching alone or on the huge TV at Water Street Restaurant, this showdown for the Vince Lombardi Trophy is not to be missed.

Wednesday, February 4: We all know what gives someone that inner glow, but what makes his innards glow? Hear it from a Yale biologist as he explains, among other things, how technology from deep-sea biofluourescent fish (pictured) will someday be used to link human minds with machines. If the thought of glowing neon cyborgs isn’t incentive enough, fluourescent cocktails will also be served.

Thursday, February 5: They just grow up so quickly, don’t they? Park Slope author Beth Harpaz (pictured) will read from her new book, “13 is the new 18…and other things my children taught me while I was having a nervous breakdown being their mother.” And get this — the reading will be hosted by our very own controversial columnist, “Smartmom” Louise Crawford!

Friday, February 6: Settle down with the good ol’ boys and some old-time Bluegrass that’ll have you screaming “yee-haw!” Dock Oscar and the Homegrown String Band will be playing gospel, bluegrass versions of 1970s pop hits, and lots of original stuff in an evening of honky tonk that is sure to have you dancing and drinking $2.50 Tecates until the cows come home.