Smartmom: Smartmom thinks that slumber parties for children under the age of 35 should be banned. Why would any parent want to sacrifice his or her sleep and sanity for an all-night gathering of pre-teen girls? Comment.

Editorial: Bruce Ratner won ugly. Comment.

Smartmom: Smartmom thinks that slumber parties for children under the age of 35 should be banned. Why would any parent want to sacrifice his or her sleep and sanity for an all-night gathering of pre-teen girls? Comment.

Smartmom: Monday night, Hepcat, Smartmom, and OSFO bought a Christmas tree from the gentle Canadian man, who sell trees in front of the CVS drugstore. Comment.

Brooklyn Angle: How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? OK, hold your hate mail. That ain’t my joke. It’s the actual name of a campaign being waged by Reform Jewish congregations nationwide to save this planet one lightbulb at a time. Comment.

Editorial: If there was any doubt that Bruce Ratner’s Atlantic Yards mega-development would be a bad investment of billions of dollars in taxpayer subsidies, it was wiped away this week by new revelations that the project will generate far less tax revenue than promised just five months ago. Comment.

Editorial: Now we know why state legislators fought so intensely to keep their “member items” list so secret. Comment.

Brooklyn Angle: OK, this may seem like a completely gratuitous column about my new book, but it is actually a story about how intolerant a neighborhood famously liberal Park Slope can be. Comment.

Smartmom: One day while lunching on a turkey sub at the Subway on Seventh Avenue, Smartmom ran into a mom she knew back when Teen Spirit was in elementary school. Comment.

Smartmom: Trouble on Third Street. Last Friday, during a rehearsal of Teen Spirit’s band, Cool and Unusual Punishment, in Drummer Boy’s apartment, the downstairs neighbors (DNs) called up and told them to cease and desist. Comment.

Editorial: The news this week that a Coney Island real-estate developer will raze Astroland and build a $1.5-billion, Vegas-like menagerie was greeted with the usual hue and cry from nostalgia-addled Brooklynites who remember the “glory days” of Coney Island. Comment.

Brooklyn Angle: Park Slopers may be furious about the recent raccoon invasion, but the neighborhood famous for its peaceniks and organic produce consumption loves its albino squirrel. Comment.

Editorial: We’ve certainly had our disagreements with Assembly Speaker Sheldon Silver, but the Manhattan Democrat earned our Hero of the Week award for his righteous broadside against state development czar Charles Gargano on Sunday. Comment.

Brooklyn Angle: Michael Rakowitz’s Iraqi dates have finally completed a 6,000-mile, three-month journey from Baghdad to New York City — but it’s unclear if the fruit will make the last six miles to Rakowitz’s Atlantic Avenue store. Comment.

Smartmom: Smartmom almost fell over last month when Hepcat suggested they buy a new television. “There’s a big sale at Best Buy,” he said. “And 32-inch LCD flat screens are the sweet spot.” Comment.

Smartmom: Thanksgiving: that most American of holidays. Pumpkin pie. Football. Divorce. Comments (1).

Brooklyn Angle: That damn Starbucks still burns at David Walentas. The Starbucks is on the corner of Main Street and Front Street, in the heart of DUMBO. Comment.

Brooklyn Angle: You know what the main problem with Domino’s “Brooklyn-style” slice is? It stinks. Comment.

Editorial: Although many mocked it as a pointless junket, Borough President Markowitz’s fact-finding tour of England revealed the truth about how the world tourism industry views our beloved borough — and how much more work he and others need to do to put Brooklyn on the world’s tour map. Comment.

Smartmom: Smartmom was so impressed with the Annie Leibovitz show at the Brooklyn Museum — with its ravishing shots of Demi, Brad, Scarlett and a host of family and friends of the photographer’s — that she decided it was about time she had her very own digital camera. Comment.

Smartmom: The new film with Kate Winslet and hunky Patrick Wilson, “Little Children,” reminded Smartmom of something she’s known for a long time: extra-marital sex just isn’t worth the bother. Comment.

Editorial: Americans are, at long last, debating the disastrous Bush administration agenda — and, in large numbers, are finding it a failed one. Comment.

Brooklyn Angle: The revolution will be telephoned. And it will be fueled with Dunkin Munchkins, Fig Newtons, strong coffee and gallons of Arizona Iced Tea. Comment.

Smartmom: Smartmom is mad as hell and she’s not going to take it anymore. You should not send your kid to school if he’s throwing up or has diarrhea! Comment.

Editorial: State Comptroller Alan Hevesi must resign. Hevesi, who is accused of using state employees to drive his wife, continues to defend himself against the charge that he has violated the public trust. Comment.

Smartmom: Smartmom was in one of her rages after attending Tuesday night’s discussion at the Seventh Avenue Barnes & Noble with the authors of The Case Against Homework: How Homework is Hurting Our Children and What We Can Do About It. Comment.

Brooklyn Angle: You don’t see this very often. A group of Muslim men is bowing towards Mecca, kneeling in prayer and chanting “Allahu akbar” in the basement of a synagogue. Comment.

Editorial: Calls to restore trolley service to Brooklyn probably started the day after trolley service — like the Dodgers — left Brooklyn. Comment.

Letters: The front-page picture of Maggie Gyllenhaal is both tasteless and sexist (“Hello, Neighbor!” Oct. 7). You have insulted your readers and Ms. Gyllenhaal. Is this any way to treat a new neighbor? Comment.

Smartmom: When Smartmom’s Friends with Brownstone ask if the Oh So Feisty One would be willing to water their plants or feed their pets while they’re away, she almost always says “yes.” Comment.

Editorial: Just who does Charles Gargano think he’s working for — the public that pays his salary or developer Bruce Ratner? Comment.

Smartmom: Move over, Smartmom. There’s a new mom on Seventh Avenue and she’s taking over your turf. And guess what? It’s Diaper Diva, your very own twin sister. Comment.

Editorial: All of Brooklyn owes a debt of gratitude to an umbrella coalition called the Council of Brooklyn Neighborhoods — not only because the group has put out the most detailed study of the state’s analysis of Bruce Ratner’s Atlantic Yards project, but, in doing so, has shown once again the value of independent experts operating outside of Albany’s closed-door meetings and smoke-filled rooms. Comment.

Brooklyn Angle: Last week’s Department of Health proposed ban on trans-fats in restaurants city-wide caused such a firestorm that I immediately called Brooklyn’s great chef Alan Harding to find out what it would mean for his customers. Comment.

Brooklyn Angle: Talk about a brew-ha-ha. Coffee-and-scone lovers in Park Slope and Cobble Hill — whose caffeine cultures are as different as surfer dudes and stockbrokers — were rocked this month to wake up and smell this coffee: each neighborhood’s best-loved cafe had opened in its rival’s turf. Comment.

Smartmom: So, it’s okay for mothers to spend billions of dollars a year at Toys “R” Us, but they’re not allowed to breastfeed on the premises — it’s offensive, too sexual and not appropriate for children. Comment.

Editorial: We ran into Forest City Ratner Vice President Bruce Bender in front of Park Slope’s PS 321 the other day. We’ve known Bender for a long time and we like talking with him — even though he goes to town on us like we were a Peter Luger porterhouse. Comment.

Editorial: Got a secret? You can certainly entrust it to Gov. Pataki and the cabal of insiders who pack his lame-duck administration. Comment.

Smartmom: The week before Rosh Hashanah, Smartmom was meditating in her bedroom. Her attempts to meditate at home are usually a comedy of errors and this was no exception. The fragrance of burning incense seems to attract her offspring like flies to honey. Comment.

Brooklyn Angle: Park Slope author David Shenk is hawking a new book — a remarkable history of chess — which is great news for readers and bad news for me. Comment.

Smartmom: The other night on the way home from the Park Slope Pavilion after seeing “Little Miss Sunshine,” Smartmom asked Hepcat which actress should play her if anyone ever makes a movie or a television series of her life. Comment.

Editorial: This week’s 9-11 commemorations hit many of the right notes. Even five years after this generation’s “date that will live in infamy,” New Yorkers still yearn for their towering skyline, still crave the collective spirit that followed that horrific day, still want to think the best of their elected officials even when those officials try to control the legacy of the terror attacks for their own craven purposes. Comment.

Editorial: The Papers makes these endorsements. Comment.

Smartmom: It’s hard enough returning to the routines of school so soon after Labor Day — the getting the kids up and out before eight in the morning, the scramble to scramble eggs for that all-important fortifying breakfast, the two hours of picking out an outfit — but that’s nothing compared to the annual Invasion of the Park Slope Body-Snatchers! Comment.

Brooklyn Angle: I realize that there is no cliche so tired, no complaint so insipid, no whine so tedious as the cry of the affluent, successful middle-aged white man. Comment.

Editorial: In the 10th Congressional District — which stretches through central Brooklyn and includes parts of DUMBO, Fort Greene, Boerum Hill and Prospect Heights — voters are asked to choose between a candidate who’s right on local issues, and one attuned to foreign affairs but out to lunch domestically. Comment.

Editorial: The retirement after 24 years of Rep. Major Owens has prompted a free-for-all for a rare open seat in Brooklyn. Residents of the 11th Congressional District — which spans from Brooklyn Heights to East New York and includes parts of Park Slope, Cobble Hill, Windsor Terrace, Prospect Heights and East Flatbush — are fortunate to have an actual debate over who would best serve them, rather than the usual choice between an unaccomplished incumbent and an unqualified opponent. Comment.

Smartmom: A few years back, it seemed that a lot of couples were either getting divorced, thinking about separating, or in a real funk. Comment.

Smartmom: What did Smartmom and family do on their summer vacation? She and the kids swam in a brand new swimming pool and Hepcat had to confront his past and accept change. That’s a tall order for anyone, but especially for Hepcat, who’s a stickler for times gone by. Comment.

Editorial: If you judge only by the state’s seven-hour public hearing on Wednesday night, there are just two sides in the battle over Bruce Ratner’s Atlantic Yards mega-development: thugs and nerds. Comment.

Editorial: Wednesday marks the first day of the rest of Brooklyn’s life. Comment.

Smartmom: Last week, Diaper Diva’s red-haired daughter, Ducky, celebrated her second birthday and her very first birthday in the United States. Comment.

Editorial: The New York Times, which is working with Bruce Ratner to build a new Times headquarters in Manhattan, continues to trumpet its enthusiastic view of its partner’s Atlantic Yards mega-development. In a City section editorial that capped a string of upbeat “news” articles and unreported stories, Times writers seemed to be working off a Ratner press release. As a service to our readers, some of whom may also occasionally read the Times, we present a more nuanced view. Comment.

Smartmom: They call it a family vacation. Is that an oxymoron? Or are Smartmom and her extended family moronic to even give it a try? Comment.

Brooklyn Angle: A Park Slope mom is throwing cold water on a hot-weather staple: bottled aqua — and no, she’s not crazy from the heat. Comments (1).

Brooklyn Angle: Follow the money. That old journalistic mantra might be as applicable to Brooklyn’s competitive newspaper market as it was to Watergate, now that the Sheepshead Bay’based Courier-Life chain is revealed to have been giving thousands of dollars to the politicians it routinely covers. Comment.

Editorial: While many Brooklynites have spent the past two weeks complaining that the Empire State Development Corporation ruined everyone’s vacations by releasing its 2,000-page Atlantic Yards draft environmental impact statement during the summer, some people have actually rolled up their sleeves and started analyzing the flawed document. Comment.

Smartmom: You’ve heard of road rage. Now there’s “Mommy Rage” and there’s no shortage of it in Park Slope. Comment.

Editorial: Assemblyman Roger Green must stop dodging City Councilman Charles Barron’s call. Both Barron (D–Canarsie) and Green (D–Fort Greene) are hoping to retire longtime Rep. Ed Towns this fall. Comments (1).

Brooklyn Angle: “We are a city of skyscrapers. We are a city of towers.” That’s what Empire State Development Corporation Chairman Charles Gargano said last week, casting Brooklyn as the new Manhattan — a vision for the borough that many longtime residents and the newer Manhattan exiles simply do not share. Comment.

Smartmom: Not long ago, there was a bomb scare in Park Slope. It wasn’t on the news or on the radio — heck, what’s a bomb scare in New York City anymore? — but in the Slope, it was a major incident. Comment.

Editorial: The Manhattanization of Brooklyn is now official state policy. That’s what Empire State Development Corporation Chairman Charles Gargano said this week, as his agency released a disheartening draft environmental impact statement for Bruce Ratner’s Atlantic Yards project. Comment.

Brooklyn Angle: Another major civil rights barrier will fall this week when a Brooklyn man becomes the first Hasidic rabbi to ever address the nation’s largest comic book convention. Comment.

Editorial: There is one unavoidable conclusion written between the lines of this week’s Chamber of Commerce report on our local economy: Brooklyn needs Wal-Mart. Comment.

Smartmom: Smartmom thinks that the Oh So Feisty One, at age 9, is old enough to walk to the corner and cross the street. Comment.

Editorial: The timing could not have been more suspect. On the eve of a massive protest rally at Grand Army Plaza this Sunday and weeks before he will release an environmental impact statement, Bruce Ratner and his public-relations minions set up a dog-and-pony show to highlight the lone element of his mammoth $3.5-billion Atlantic Yards mega-development that could arguably be viewed in a positive light: 2,250 “affordable” rental units. Comment.

Brooklyn Angle: Look, I know what I saw. As the accompanying photo shows, something happened at the 10-minute mark of last week’s 91st annual Nathan’s hot-dog-eating contest at Coney Island. On the left is American record-holder Joey Chestnut, pointing at five-time world champion Takeru Kobayashi. On the right is newcomer Patrick Bertoletti, pointing at Kobayashi. Comment.

Smartmom: Smartmom has a dirty little secret: She actually looked forward to Hepcat’s trip to Indianapolis to watch some Formula One racing because it would mean three days without him. Comment.

Brooklyn Angle: This could be the year when I get to see a grown Japanese man cry. Comment.

Smartmom: Smartmom cried on the Oh So Feisty One’s last day of school this week. She always does. They were quiet tears: quickly-brushed-away tears, and tears-that-got-stuck-in-the-middle-of-her-throat tears. Comment.

Editorial: A park is a park, and a project a project. As a policy, The Brooklyn Papers has, when reporting on the proposed development along the Brooklyn Heights and DUMBO waterfronts, generally referred to it as a “project” or a “development,” but certainly not a park. Comment.

Smartmom: Hepcat hates Father’s Day and could care less about gifts and cards. He feels the same way about Mother’s Day, but Smartmom has trained him to line up — along with the rest of the male population of Park Slope — at the Clay Pot to procure her Mother’s Day offering. Comment.

Editorial: Brooklyn’s real-estate market — already red hot for the last 20 years — has gone truly insane. Here’s the latest evidence. Comment.

Smartmom: Teen Spirit turned 15 last week. Smartmom knew enough not to suggest a party, but she did ask if he wanted to invite some friends over. Comment.

Brooklyn Angle: Let me explain. Yes, that’s your humble columnist above flanked by Gavin MacLeod — best known as Captain Merrill Stubing from “The Love Boat” — and Captain Andrew Proctor of the new ship, the Crown Princess. Comment.

Smartmom: Smartmom bought her first pair of Jimmy Choo’s on Saturday afternoon in Baltimore. She doesn’t know what got into her. She doesn’t even remember exactly how it happened. It’s all sort of a blur. Comment.

Brooklyn Angle: It has been wisely said that I scream, you scream and, indeed, we all scream for ice cream. Comment.

Brooklyn Angle: So this is what all the fuss was about? That art show that got banned by the Parks Department because it was “inappropriate” for children and veterans opened late last week in DUMBO — and I was first on line. Comment.

Smartmom: Writing teachers always advise newbies, “Write what you know.” But Smartmom learned first-hand the perils of that credo after last month’s article, Ratner $$ can’t buy love, angered many in the PS 321 community. Comment.

Smartmom: On the day of the 30th high school reunion of the Walden School (a progressive private school on the Upper West Side that no longer exists), Smartmom spent many hours beautifying at the Frajean Salon on Seventh Avenue. Comment.

Brooklyn Angle: In an astounding triumph that could change the course of American history, a California college student has gone where no American has ever gone, eating 50 hot dogs and buns in 12 minutes last week. Comment.

Brooklyn Angle: WHEN PRESIDENT Bush was asked last month about a newly recorded Spanish-language version of the National Anthem, he brusquely said the song “ought to be sung in English.” Comment.

Smartmom: Smartmom forgot that parents were supposed to dress up 1960s-style for the PS 321 Auction and Dance Friday night at the Brooklyn Museum. Comment.

Brooklyn Angle: Sahara Meer is still angry. Place a copy of Bruce Ratner’s recent Atlantic Yards mailing on the table, and she’ll put her handbag over it. Show her the pictures of happy Brooklynites smiling for Ratner’s cameras and she’ll cringe. Comment.

Smartmom: Last week, Hepcat woke Smartmom at midnight. Comment.

Smartmom: Smartmom loved Heath Ledger in “Brokeback Mountain.” In fact, the scene in the tent with Jake really got her juices going. Literally. A little rough, a little raw, it was one of the best movie sex scenes in recent memory. Comment.

Brooklyn Angle: You never know what you’re going to get in the morning mail: a glossy catalogue, a piece of political literature, some junk mail. Comment.

Brooklyn Angle: Time was, the Brooklyn Bridge was so powerful a symbol that protesters would only march across it to complain about Really Big Things: police brutality, civil rights, abortion rights, war. Comment.

Smartmom: The oldest daughter of Smartmom’s rich cousin in Baltimore is getting married in June — a black-tie wedding — and Smartmom’s clan is in tizzy about what to wear. Comment.

Brooklyn Angle: The Mets say their new stadium design was “inspired by the tradition” of Ebbets Field. Comment.

Smartmom: It may not be June, but it’s wedding season in the Oh So Feisty One’s third-grade class at PS 321. Spot, OSFO’s favorite stuffed dog, and Kate, the stuffed bear of her classmate, are engaged. Kate is a divorcee with a young baby bear named Bob, Jr. Spot will be his stepfather. Comment.

Brooklyn Angle: He’s baaaack. She’s baaaack. And their kids are baaack, too. Fortunately, so are the unsung heroes of the United States Department of Agriculture — who are back on the streets in a violent, block-by-block, house-to-house, tree-to-tree battle against the Asian longhorned beetle. Comment.

Smartmom: Sometimes, Smartmom wonders if Park Slope is becoming a parody of itself. Comment.

Smartmom: It had already been a pretty bad week. But Mrs. Kravitz’s phone call Friday afternoon turned it into a really lousy one. Literally. Comment.

Brooklyn Angle: Full disclosure: I drank the first pint of Labatt’s at Freddy’s this week. Comment.

Smartmom: Hepcat got a job, Harried Harriet is seeing a new man, Tall and Lanky’s house renovation was dragging on, and the war in Iraq entered its fourth year. Sounds like it was time for a “Mommy Dinner.” Comment.

Brooklyn Angle: He had me at Merlot. Of course, I was sympathetic towards Brian Robinson, a nice Brooklyn guy, even before he started plying me with spoiled French grape juice. Comment.

Brooklyn Angle: The “new” Brooklyn is being built, stoop-by-stoop, gut-rehab-by-gut-rehab, bluestone-by-bluestone, in neighborhoods like Boerum Hill, Prospect Heights, Gowanus, the South Slope and Clinton Hill. Comment.

Smartmom: The Oh So Feisty One’s ninth birthday is here — and that means it’s time to make the cupcakes. Comment.

Brooklyn Angle: Brooklyn is losing the ground war. Comment.

Smartmom: While walking on Prospect Park West the other day, Smartmom noticed a copy of The Park Slope Paper wrapped in plastic on the steps of Jennifer Connelly’s limestone mansion. Omigod, she squealed aloud to no one. Does Jennifer read Smartmom? Comment.

Smartmom: Break out the Proseco! Hepcat’s got a full-time job with a computer start-up in Manhattan. And Smartmom could really use a drink, because she’s still reeling from the changes this has brought to her household. Comment.

Smartmom: How about this for timing: Smartmom’s mother-in-law arrived from California just in time to catch last week’s “Valentine’s Sexcapade” column. Comment.

Brooklyn Angle: This columnist has such a deep and abiding respect for the office of Vice President, that he has resisted the temptation — succumbed to by so many of his colleagues — to lampoon the current occupant for shooting his friend in a hunting accident. Comment.

Smartmom: It was bad enough that Smartmom put herself out there in her column two weeks ago, writing about her “old married couple” sex life with hubby Hepcat — and then openly discussing her plan to get a room at the Brooklyn Marriott for a Valentine’s Day tryst. Comment.

Smartmom: Betty Friedan showed up in the sky above Seventh Avenue last week as Smartmom headed to Connecticut Muffin after the PS 321 drop-off. Comment.

Brooklyn Angle: Precinct houses are bugs trapped in amber. The desk sergeant greets outsiders like they’re ne’er-do-well uncles looking for a handout. In the far corner is a Shine-o-Mat machine with two worn-down brushes that look as though they haven’t been replaced since men wore hats. Comment.

Brooklyn Angle: Root canal patients and Novocaine junkies shuddered at the news last year that the Williamsburgh Bank Building — once home to 150 dentists, oral surgeons, hygienists and their victims — was being converted into luxury condos Comment.

Smartmom: The only people Smartmom knows who are having sex are her divorced and widowed friends. Between Match.com, Nerve, and some of the other dating Web sites, there’s no shortage of the unattached and unencumbered eager for a little hanky-panky. Comment.

Brooklyn Angle: Ahmed Samhan has turned the tables — make that the alphabet — on the Metropolitan Transportation Authority. Comment.

Brooklyn Angle: Hate to break the news to you, Rubber Girl, Insectavora, Helen Melon and Kerosene Queen, but the cliche is finally true: the good ones are all gone. Comment.

Brooklyn Angle: Louis Schlamowitz: Public Enemy #1 or just an old guy with a lot of time on his hands? Comment.

Brooklyn Angle: In the end, Clarence Norman’s fall was anti-climactic. Comment.

Brooklyn Angle: No one is likely to call the Mark Lanes in Bay Ridge “paradise.” It’s a bit cramped, the lighting gives everyone sullen, Steve Buscemi eyes and the woman behind the counter looks over newcomers like El-Al security guards. Comment.