Carmine’s Sunday Screech

December, 2014

Carmine on his loneliness

Sunday Screech: Look, everybody needs somebody sometime — even Carmine. Comments (1)

Omagod! Carmine’s steaks out ads!

Sunday Screech: This week, the Screecher learns the hard way how to save money! Comment

Carmine loses control of his meeting!

Sunday Screech: How could it happen? The Screecher ignored? The nerve of these people! Comments (2)

Carmine spins a tale like no other

Sunday Screech: Carmine worked a little harder on last week’s column so we could bring it to you this week. Comment

November, 2014

Finally! Carmine gets sanctioned by Gay Talese

Sunday Screech: This week, the Screecher hears from his biggest fan. Comments (7)

Carmine’s caloric intake seriously affected by language barrier

Sunday Screech: This week, the Screecher dosen’t get what he wants, even if he got what was coming to him! Comment

The world accroding to Carmine

Sunday Screech: Look, all you need to know is right here given to you straight by the Screecher. Comment

Here’s what happens when Carmine has too many margaritas!

Sunday Screech: Poor Carmine! He had so much to drink, he missed his daughter’s 40th birthday! Comments (1)

October, 2014

Carmine says to pay everybody more — including him!

Sunday Screech: Look, you can never have enough money to stash away in a mattress under the floorboards in the attic! Comments (1)

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Even when Carmine wants to spend money, he can’t!

Sunday Screech: This week, the Screecher tries to dip into his wallet, but his charge card company won’t let him! Comment

FDNY saves Carmine with the ‘Jaws Of Life’

Sunday Screech: Look, if you want to save the Screecher’s life, you’ve gotta go big. Comments (2)

Carmine remembers the Jeter era

Sunday Screech: This week, the Screecher takes us back to a time before the Captain manned shortstop. Comment

September, 2014

Nobody loves BJ’s more than Carmine

Sunday Screech: This week, the Screecher breaks down the good, the bad, and the ugly about the big-box store in his backyard. Comment

Carmine comes out strong against violence

Sunday Screech: The Screecher says there’s a better way to work out your frustrations — on the dance floor! Comment

For Carmine, life barely worth living without TV Guide

Sunday Screech: This week, the Screecher learns their is no replacing his favorite magazine about his second-favorite pasttime after eating. Comment

Carmine’s latest spree boosts Dow Jones Industrial Average

Sunday Screech: In this week’s Screech, Carmine laments the fact that he ever rolled into the new Burlington Coat Factory off the Belt Parkway. Comments (1)

August, 2014

Carmine can’t believe he’s not the center of attention!

Sunday Screech: This week, the Screecher says you better stop watching the YouTube and start reading the Screecher! Comments (3)

Biggest man on Mulberry Street: Carmine parties with his old pals!

Sunday Screech: It was like Little Italy all over again when the Screecher celebrated his 79th birthday with his pals from fifth grade! Except the conversation was a bit dark. Comments (1)

The summer: When Carmine eats his way through block parties

Sunday Screech: Look, there’s nothing more enjoyable than al fresco dining — for free! Comments (7)

Carmine parties like it is his brother-in-law’s 90th birthday!

Sunday Screech: In fact, it was his brother-in-law’s 90th birthday! Comment

Carmine’s usual suspects!

Sunday Screech: The great thing about this week’s Carmine is you don’t even know what it is about until you get to the end! And neither does he! Comments (2)

July, 2014

Carmine takes a turn as Brooklyn Paper quizmaster

Sunday Screech: The Screecher’s television is on the fritz, which means this week’s column is a wild, brain-busting ride. Comment

This week’s Screech — in an easy-to-open package!

Sunday Screech: Trust us, know blood will be drawn when you open up Carmine’s column today. Comments (1)

Wassa matta! Youse don’t tink Carmine speaks good Italian?

Sunday Screech: This week, the Screecher murders his mother tongue, and cheers on a little opera singer! Comments (1)

Blue streak! Carmine has a brand-new set of wheels

Sunday Screech: Out with the old Tornado and in with the new — specially picked out to match the logo of this column. Comments (1)

June, 2014

Carmine eats his way through the Mermaid Parade after being yelled at by a bus driver

Sunday Screech: This week, the Screecher has a shocking retort for the guy who got him to Coney Island — he’s fat! Comment

Carmine gets all existential on us

Sunday Screech: Leave it to the Screecher to take the mystery of life and explain it all in less than 700 words. Comments (5)

Carmine’s final screech to his beloved sister

Sunday Screech: Look, nobody can say goodbye like Carmine. Comments (5)

Classic Screech: The one where Carmine almost drowns in the shower

Sunday Screech: Read the editor’s note to figure out what is going on. Of course, you won’t be disappointed. Comments (2)

Carmine’s PO’d with the PO, but don’t say anything about it!

Sunday Screech: In this week’s screech, Carmine let’s you know how some of his constituents feel about his old boss. Comments (3)

May, 2014

What the El! Train tracks attack Carmine!

Sunday Screech: Carmine once again cheats death, this time on 86th Street. He is a legend! Comments (6)

Carmine channels Al Pacino … and Costanza!

Sunday Screech: This week, the Screecher things he’s out, and they pull him back in! Comments (1)

Carmine’s re-run touches his heart

Sunday Screech: This week, the Screecher gets a note that reminds him of something he wrote about more than a decade ago. Comment

Camine’s pal has an iPhoney problem

Sunday Screech: This week, the Screecher lashes into AT&T for not helping out a friend in need after his grandmother died. Comments (3)

April, 2014

Carmine’s prescription for bad medicine: Read more Carmine!

Sunday Screech: This week, the Screecher peels back the label on so-called “24-hour” chain pharmacies and does not like what he sees. Comment

Carmine celebrates Holy Week the only way he knows how — with food!

Sunday Screech: What do the holidays really mean to Carmine? Click to find out! Comments (3)

Carmine’s latest column a life-saver!

Sunday Screech: Want to live as long and healthily as the Screecher has? Then follow these easy tips! Comments (7)

March, 2014

When Carmine gets political, he really gets political!

Sunday Screech: This week, the Screecher blasts the mayor, the former mayor, and just about everone else that likes charter schools. Comments (5)

Fact is, ‘Party’ is spelled C-A-R-M-I-N-E

Sunday Screech: You haven’t won an award until you’ve won a Carmine! Comments (1)

It’s your last chance to meet Carmine live and in person!

Sunday Screech: The Screecher’s gala is this week at the fabulous El Caribe Country Club, and tickets are still available! Comments (2)

Carmine’s giving out ‘Carmines’ like he’s never given out ‘Carmines’ before!

Sunday Screech: This week, the Screecher salutes Ann Marie Lettieri-Baker! Comments (7)

Carmine’s got a Marathon of a column!

Sunday Screech: In this week’s Screech, Carmine learns what happened to all that stuff that he lost. Comments (10)

February, 2014

Carmine provides another knee-slapper!

Sunday Screech: Jokes aside, the Screecher honors yet another “Carmine” award winner. Comments (3)

Do you believe what they did to that giraffe in Copenhagen? Carmine can’t

Sunday Screech: Carmine would not have eaten that animal — no matter how hungry he was — even if he was starving! Comments (8)

Carmine’s latest Carmine winners are his favorite couple!

Sunday Screech: Every once in a while, the Screecher says something nice about someone. This week, he names names — twice! Comments (2)

Carmine covers it all — all by himself!

Sunday Screech: Who needs reporters when you’ve got Carmine watching your back? Comments (2)

January, 2014

Finally! An award worthy of the name ‘Carmine’!

Sunday Screech: This week, the screecher puts aside his usual piss and vinegar for a tribute to his awardees. Comments (2)

Say what you want, but Carmine is an American through and through!

Sunday Screech: You can’t help yourself, can you? You can’t, right? So just click away and enjoy another instant classic from America’s Favorite Local Columnist. Comments (3)

The Screecher breaks out his joke book

Sunday Screech: This week’s column is for those of you who “get” Carmine. Comments (3)

The Screecher is off to the funeral parlor

Sunday Screech: No, Carmine has not passed, but he has lost a few friends this holiday season. Comments (4)

December, 2013

Miracle of miracles! Carmine gets it done again

Sunday Screech: They don’t call him Carmine Santa Maria for nothing! Comments (2)