November 11, 2006 / Perspective / Parenting / Smartmom

Smartmom wants Hepcat framed

By Louise Crawford

The Brooklyn Paper

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Smartmom was so impressed with the Annie Leibovitz show at the Brooklyn Museum — with its ravishing shots of Demi, Brad, Scarlett and a host of family and friends of the photographer’s — that she decided it was about time she had her very own digital camera.

Not that there’s any shortage of family pictures around Smartmom’s apartment. Being married to a professional photographer means that every event large or small gets duly documented.

Still, Smartmom thinks it’s time she had her own camera because having her own private paparazzi has made her lazy and a bit bossy.

“Get plenty of pictures of the bride,” she told Hepcat at the wedding of her second cousin in Baltimore, or “Get that shot of City Councilman David Yassky dressed as Elvis Presley,” she commanded at the recent Park Slope Halloween Parade.

When Smartmom channels Lina Wertmuller (thick Italian accent, dark glasses, and all) it gets on Hepcat’s nerves big time.

But being married to a photographer can be annoying, too. A simple trip to the Food Co-op to buy free range chicken thighs and Newman O’s, can involve lots of stop and go while Hepcat grabs shot after shot.

After years of this, Smartmom just keeps walking; she and Hepcat generally travel two to three blocks apart.

So getting a digital camera seems like a good idea for a bunch of reasons.

First off, it would give Smartmom something to do while Hepcat is taking pictures of the Key Food sign or one of his other artsy muses.

Second, she’ll get the shots she really wants: the people, places, and things that really matter to her.

But most important, she’ll finally have some pictures of Hepcat. She hardly has any of those.

Truth is, it’s just plain weird that the family album of their lives is missing one of its major characters. Not that he’s completely absent. Like Alfred Hitchcock, Hepcat sneaks himself into a photo from time to time, but it’s usually just his shadow or his finger slipping into the frame.

Diaper Diva doesn’t have that problem at all. She manages to shoot a lot of pictures of herself with Ducky.

Of course, everything Ducky does is a photo op as far as Diaper Diva is concerned: Ducky at the Third Street Playground. Ducky at Beth Elohim. Ducky with her dad. Ducky at ConnMuffCo. Ducky at Music Together. It’s all Ducky, all the time.

In July, Diaper Diva took more than 300 shots of the red-haired mini-Diva in the inflatable kiddie pool in the backyard of their summer rental in Sag Harbor.

And she’s even good about ordering prints for the extended family, as a way to keep everyone appraised of Ducky’s every move.

Not so for Smartmom. It’s just not her thing. And she never understood why people needed pictures of themselves in front of famous sites like the Brooklyn Bridge, the Statue of Liberty and the Botanic Gardens. Haven’t you already seen a trillion pictures of those places, already?

It’s not that Smartmom doesn’t love to have visual evidence of what she and her family have been up to for the last 15 years. But her snapshots tend to be the stories she writes in her journal, her blog, and her column. She records the important moments in her mind, paying special attention to the sensory details, the words and the humor.

And like a good reporter, she makes notes in her trusty Moleskin notebook. Just in case.

Still, sometimes you really need a camera.

Like last week, when she and Hepcat were walking up Lincoln Place. Hepcat noticed a bird standing very still on the sidewalk. As Smartmom continued up the street (she figured he was stopping to take yet another photo), Hepcat picked up the bird and cradled it in his hands.

“I think there’s something wrong with this bird,” he said as he stared lovingly at it. “I’m not sure it can fly.”

Smartmom walked toward Hepcat and savored the image of her six-foot-tall urban farm boy handling the tiny bird.

“I think it’s a finch or a thrush,” he said, making Smartmom wish she had a camera.

They stood on Lincoln Place for more than 10 minutes trying to figure out what to do. Hepcat bonded with the bird and considered taking it home. But as they approached Eighth Avenue, the bird flew off to a tree in front of the Montauk Club.

Hepcat rushed over to make sure it was all right.

Moments like these say so much about Hepcat. A picture would have been worth thousands of words as it expressed the gentle, animal-loving side of Hepcat that Smartmom adores and few get to see.

So that decides it. She’s off to B&H to pick up a simple point-and-shoot. She knows that her snapshots won’t be nearly as interesting as Hepcat’s or Diaper Divas. But at least the next time Hepcat does anything even vaguely photogenic, she’ll be at the ready to record another small, decisive moment in their lives.

©2006 Community Newspaper Group