Diagnosis: Severe case of missing car

for The Brooklyn Paper
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A man who got a clean bill of health at a local hospital on May 3 came outside to find that he no longer had a car.

The bold heist happened after the victim parked his car at 9:30 am near the hospital, which is near Poly Place and Seventh Avenue. While doctors checked out the 46-year-old patient, a perp was stealing his $12,000 Dodge Durango.

No broken glass was found at the scene.

Break-in burglary

A thief stole $3,000 after crawling through the back window of a Fifth Avenue apartment on May 3.

The 49-year-old victim left his apartment, which is near 76th Street, at 6 pm for a night on the town. He returned six hours later to find that $3,000 was missing from his dresser.

Musical menace

A thief stole an iPod from a car parked on Third Avenue on May 1.

The 35-year-old victim parked his car near 88th Street the night before, only to return at 10:30 am to discover the digital music player had been stolen.

To add insult to injury, the clumsy perp even knocked off his rear-view mirror during the theft.

Cops are looking for the music-loving menace.

Escape artist

An improvisational perp used a fire escape to rob a man of his cash and jewelry on May 2.

The high-wire act happened at a Third Avenue apartment at around noon, while the 23-year-old victim was enjoying a leisurely stroll.

When the man returned an hour later to the apartment, which is near Ovington Avenue, he noticed the window by his fire escape had been opened and his apartment had been looted.

The thief made out with $1,000, plus $800 in jewelry.

Cops are interviewing neighbors.

Home looted

Thieves stole more than $400 in cash and jewelry in a break-in on 74th Street on May 6.

The resident of the home, which is near 15th Avenue, discovered the crime when he came home at around 6 pm.

No neighbors saw the break-in.

Bold bank grab

A bank robber tried the self-service method on May 5, reaching over the counter to grab some loose cash for himself, cops said.

The robber entered the bank, which is near Bay Parkway, at around 4 pm and passed the teller a note that read, “Please just give me the money and no one will get hurt.”

But when the teller froze in horror, the thug helped himself to $1,190, police said.

He fled down 86th Street.

Swipe scam

An elderly woman shopping in an 18th Avenue store on May 4 not only had her wallet lifted, but had more than $1,500 in charges to her debit card by the time she got home.

The 72-year-old woman returned to her home, which is near 68th Street, at around 11 am. She realized her wallet was missing only when her bank called to tell her about some suspicious charges, police said.

Van break-in

A van that had been parked outside a 65th Street electronics store was broken into on May 3.

The owner of the store had parked the van near Avenue O at around 6 pm. When he came back out, he found that someone had broken the rear door lock and taken an unreported amount of electronic equipment.

Memory lapse ends badly

A keen-eyed burglar swiped a woman’s wallet after she left it on the counter of a Bay Parkway clothing store on May 3.

The woman was paying for her items at around 6:30 pm. But after leaving the store, which is near 85th Street, she realized she forgot the wallet. She returned within minutes, but it was gone, police said.

Surprisingly, neither the cashier, nor the customers, saw who took the wallet.

Neighborly mischief

A woman solved her own case of identity theft, nabbing her own neighbor for charging items to her credit card.

The 23-year-old woman first spotted the charges when her bills arrived in April. She brought pictures of her West First Street neighbor to stores where the charges were made — and the storeowners verified that the neighbor had indeed made by him.

After getting her evidence, the victim confronted the man, producing a confession, police said.

The 49-year-old thief is now in police custody. No word on whether the woman has been hired by the 62nd Precinct detective squad.

Afternoon burg

A man returned to find his front door wide open and his 74th Street apartment ransacked on May 1.

The victim returned at around 1:30 pm to his apartment, which is near 16th Avenue. He discovered his drawers and his clothes had been thrown to the floor during the mad search for cash.

The thieves ended up finding — and taking — more than $2,000, including his jewelry, police said.

Bar grab

A woman enjoying herself at an 86th Street bar had her wallet snatched on April 20.

The fun stopped at around 8 pm, when she realized her wallet had been snatched within the bar, which is near 23rd Avenue. A few days later, her bank notified her that the thieves had made a few purchases with her card.

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