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No excuses! Gym rats are robbed

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Two people working out at the gym got hit where it hurts — and not by their boxing partners.

Two thieves netted nearly $7,000 in cash and goods in separate robberies at the Crunch gym on Flatbush Avenue, cops said.

Both victims said they secured their lockers before working out, and returned to find their stuff gone. In both cases, the locks did not appear to have been tampered with, and there was no damage to the lockers themselves.

In the first theft, on Jan. 13, a 28-year-old victim ended his workout at 4:30 pm and found his $300 jacket, $400 phone and $400 watch missing.

Eight days later, a second health nut said she lost $5,700 worth of property — including a $1,600 bag and $2,400 Hermes watch — around noon.

Out late

Talk about a bad hangover. A young woman walking home from a night out on the town on Jan. 15 was jumped from behind and robbed.

The 25-year-old was walking back to her Sixth Avenue apartment, near Garfield Street, at 4 am, when an assailant jumped her from behind, grabbed her throat and said, “I won’t hurt you. Just give me your money.”

The thug didn’t brandish a weapon, but managed to get away with $530 worth in cash, jewelry and a cellphone.

Bank heist

A man in a green fedora robbed a Fifth Avenue bank on Jan. 17 armed with nothing but exclamation marks.

The thief walked into the bank, at the corner of 11th Street, at 5:45 pm, and passed a teller a note that read, “Give me the money and nobody will get hurt!!! Right now!”

The thief got away with more than $1,500. Police said the robber was a 6-foot white man with green eyes and that jaunty hat.

Catwalk burglar

A fire escape is supposed to provide a safe route out of a dangerous situation, but for one Park Slope homeowner, it created one instead.

The 46-year-old woman returned to her Prospect Park West apartment at around 11:30 am on Jan. 14 to discover that a cat burglar had used the fire escape to enter and help himself to her laptop, digital video camera and a $500 amethyst ring.

The woman’s neighbors didn’t notice anything.

Go fish

A Japanese restaurant on Seventh Avenue learned a valuable lesson in alarm system maintenance on Jan. 17.

Thieves broke the lock on the front door and stole $100 in coins, aided in part by a broken alarm system.

Bobcatting

Car theft was apparently too boring for one would-be joyrider.

A construction site on the corner of Fourth Avenue and Warren Street was ripped off on Jan. 13 when the lock on the gate was broken and a Bobcat stolen.

The site’s foreman discovered the theft of the $36,000 forklift when he came in to work two days later.

Give me air

Thieves broke into a fancy Mazda on Lincoln Place on Jan. 19, but took only the airbags.

The owner had parked the 2006 model near Nevins Street.

Cab unfare

A cab driver lost his livelihood — his cab — to thieves on Jan. 14.

The man’s yellow taxi was stolen from in front of his apartment on Fourth Avenue and Fifth Street at around 9 am.

Cops are on the lookout for a 2004 Ford Crown Victoria with the license plate 5Y26A.

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