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It wouldn’t be Brooklyn without the smackdown — those classic conflicts between a pair of feisty fighters.

From Rep. Anthony Weiner striking a blow against “the Republic Party,” to Mayor Bloomberg dissing Coney Island’s biggest landowner, Joe Sitt, to a battle for hot chocolate hegemony in DUMBO, 2007 was a great year for anyone who loves a great fight.

So grab a box of popcorn and let’s recap! Adam F. Hutton reports:

Round 1

Weiner vs. Bush: Rep. Anthony Weiner (D–Sheepshead Bay) got so sick and tired of hearing our fearless leader George Bush irritate liberals by referring to their party as the “Democrat Party” that he started removing the “an” from the end of the GOP’s given name. In doing so, Weiner unleashed a burst of pride across the liberal blogo-pundit-ocracy. And who said politics were childish?

Edge: There are no winners here, but there is one wiener.

Round 2

Beep vs. JFK: Our effervescent Borough President Markowitz tried out his German, and channeled John F. Kennedy, when the Deputy Mayor of Vienna came to town in March. “Ich bin ein Wiener,” Markowitz proudly intoned, declaring, “I am a citizen of Vienna.” In doing so, Markowitz recalled JFK, who, when visiting Berlin, famously said “Ich bin ein Berliner,” which is often mistranslated as “I am a jelly donut.” Forget about the obvious Markowitz-donut joke for a second, but the Beep failed to achieve Kennedy’s level of charisma, and the slain president wasn’t even trying to make a joke.

Edge: Never bet against JFK.

Round 3

Tang vs. Dang: For a while, Hanco’s was the only Vietnamese sandwich shop in Boerum Hill. Run by the Tang family, Hanco’s had a monopoly on the delicious pork stuffed sandwiches until the Dang family, which owns Nicky’s, a “banh mi” restaurant in the East Village, snatched up a piece of real estate nearby. That would be the makings of a good smackdown right there, but it turns out that Tang used to drop in on Dang at his shop in Sunset Park and pick his brain, looking for pointers that would help him open his own shop. This year, Dang fought back by moving in down the block.

Edge: Hanco’s. And at $4.25, you can’t beat the price.

Round 4

Bloomy vs. Sitt: After a months-long stand-off between Coney Island landlord Joe Sitt and the city, Mayor Bloomberg publicly quashed Sitt’s plan to build a Vegas on the Atlantic, insulting his competence, and decreeing that the legendary playground should be made a public park. That had to hurt.

Edge: Bloomberg. He’s got the power (and he also has more money).

Round 5

Baker vs. Chocolatier: Once upon a time, Almondine, the DUMBO bakery known for its tarte tatin (that’s French for “fancy upside down apple tart”), sold hot chocolate made by Jacques Torres, the legendary chocolatier across the street. But in March, the Frenchman-owned Almondine started a brawl above its weight class by selling its own hot chocolate. But which Frenchman emerged victorious? The one who wasn’t selling hot chocolate that tasted like a mix.

Edge: Jacques Torres

Round 6

Mike vs. Vince: After Mayor Bloomberg proposed a property tax cut and a $400 rebate for homeowners, Bay Ridge Councilman Vince Gentile tried to one-up the billionaire mayor by proposing a rebate three times as large. Nice try, but the Independent Budget Office pointed out that neither giveback would help renters. We couldn’t agree more.

Edge: Who cares? Brooklyn rents.

Round 7

Raskin vs. Hecht: It’s an annual tradition that goes back to when Moses wore short pants. Every Hanukkah, Rabbi Aaron Raskin of the Chabad of Brooklyn Heights, takes on Rabbi Shimon Hecht (Raskin’s uncle) of the Chabad of Brownstone Brooklyn, in a battle for menorah supremacy. The Heights menorah at Borough Hall is considered “Brooklyn’s official menorah” while the one in Park Slope’s Grand Army Plaza is a foot taller and a foot wider (and you know what they say about the size of a man’s menorah).

Edge: Hecht — not because his menorah is bigger, but because Mr. Met provided the first night entertainment. Who knew he was Jewish?

Round 9

Where’s the beef? The Battle of Brooklyn Beef was finally joined, thanks to the proposed opening of a Morton’s steakhouse in the Brooklyn Marriott. So far, Brooklyn favorite Peter Luger hasn’t returned the volley. But does it really need to? Luger’s has been in the borough since 1887 and is as Brooklyn as Marty Markowitz. Morton’s is a 29-year-old Chicago-based steakhouse — and they don’t call Chicago “the second city” for nothing.

Edge: Peter Luger, of course. But check back with us in 2098 when this battle has had a chance to play out a bit.

Round 10

Monte’s vs. Ferdinando’s vs. Bamonte’s: In a virtually unprecedented three-way smackdown, three venerable Italian restaurants — Monte’s Venetian Room in Gowanus, Ferdinando’s Focacceria in Carroll Gardens and Bamonte’s in Willaimsburg — each claimed to be Brooklyn’s oldest. Monte’s embossed its claim on its doormat, so The Brooklyn Paper — always hungry for the truth — set out to test the veracity of the assertion. As Jim Morrison once said, the truth is uncertain (but the end is always near).

Edge: Bamonte’s. The owner has a deed dating back to 1900.

©2007 The Brooklyn Paper