February 10, 2007: Vol. 30, No. 6

Don’t let the foam fool you. After a thorough canvass of Red Hook, Carroll Gardens and Cobble Hill’s best-loved coffee shops, one of the nation’s top-ranked baristas — yes, coffee preparation is a ranked field — has determined that South Brooklyn is drowning in milky waves of improperly prepared cappuccino.

“These guys are just going through the motions,” said Nick Cho, winner of this year’s Southeast Regional Barista Championship, and guru of a nascent movement that aims to treat lattes like fine wines, with sommeliers, sniff-tests and an appreciation for how the brew was made.

Cho, who will compete in the Barista Nationals this spring, was in Brooklyn as a demitasse doyen, here to teach the art of espresso-making and, in his off-hours, educate me to the potential for greatness in the muck I slurp morning, noon and, occasionally, night.

And educate he did.

I have always regarded the saggy, white crest atop a cappuccino somewhat warily, a creamy, but ultimately costly signature of the caffeine-gluttony that has marked my transition into the cubicle-land of adulthood.

At worst, the foam was a bothersome white wall between my lips and the precious, dark caffeine floating murkily below.

Apparently, my experience is a familiar one known by industry insiders as the “seafoam problem.”

“When the milk is over-steamed, the bubbles get too big and dry up,” Cho explained. “It’s become a standard in American cappuccino.”

Baked, in Red Hook, was Cho’s ground zero for the current movement in the beverage’s consumption — the second wave.

“This is coffee for enjoyment’s sake, but nobody is paying enough attention,” he said, noting the way the barista’s eyes wandered away from the steamer even as the milk reached its critical boiling point.

Roaming eyes aside, the sleek bakery ranked number- one among the coffee-selling establishments open on a Sunday afternoon in the BoCoCa-Hook java-triangle, beating out Naidre’s, the Coffee Den, Bococas Cafe, and Georgia’s Place, which boasted a sweet, but undeniably watery, ’cino.

(The grandfather of South Brooklyn java, D’Amico’s, is closed on the seventh day, so Cho couldn’t render his verdict.)

The perfect cappuccino, according to Cho, can’t be found in South Brooklyn, and, in fact, is only for sale at perhaps three establishments in the entire city of New York.

Cafe Grumpy in Greenpoint is the only such place in Brooklyn.

The problem with most places, he told me, often begins with premature percolation.

“The espresso shouldn’t be shooting out in six seconds,” Cho hissed as we stood, his stopwatch ticking, at the counter in The Coffee Den on Union Street. And of course, there is the foam issue.

“If the milk is steamed properly,” he said, “the bubbles are very small and the milk is liquid and silky. You should be able to sip a cappuccino without a spoon.”

Another issue is size, he said.

“A piece of sushi shouldn’t be a foot long and a cappuccino shouldn’t be 16 ounces,” Cho said, noting that any place that serves the Italian brew in multiple sizes, whether they are called “large,” “big,” or the less-pretentious “grande,” should be regarded with suspicion.

But who can put an issue of the paper to bed with a single-shot cappuccino? Obviously, Cho is living in a dream world.

The Kitchen Sink

K-9 crackdown: City health inspectors have hit Red Hook’s Coffee Den with a big bone of a ticket for allowing pets inside the cozy cafe. If you like your local java-slinger, don’t bring your pooch to meet her, lest she get a ticket. …

Smith and Vine reopened this month one block south of its old location, at 268 Smith St., after its ex-landlord refused to offer a secure lease. The upshot is the new location — formerly the South Brooklyn Local Development Corporation — is bigger and simply “better,” Vine sommelier Patrick Watson told the Stoop. Good news for SBLDC staffers, though; the agency is keeping a small office in the rear of the wine tasting bar. …

Rise up singing: A new gospel chorus, the Gowanus Chorale, is looking for singers. Wanna join? Call Dave Hall at (718) 260-9308. …The race is over: Marathon Bank just opened at the corner of Atlantic Avenue and Bond Street, earning title as the first bank to break into Boerum Hill. …

Update on the lonely cat story: Two weeks ago, we reported that a lonely black cat is living in the former video store at 145 Union St. because the owner’s wife, who lives upstairs, is allergic. If you’re a cat lover who wants to adopt this mouser, call (646) 279-7399.

©2007 The Brooklyn Paper