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July 31, 2008 / Sports / Brooklyn Cyclones / Ups & Downs

Relish is still a big loser!

By Ed Shakespeare
for The Brooklyn Paper
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The Brooklyn Paper / Gary Thomas
Relish has continued his losing ways at Keyspan Park.

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It’s not easy being the top dog in any field, but when you’re Relish and an almost an automatic almost loser in the Nathan’s Hot Dog Race every night in front of 7,000 fans, it’s especially tough.

And when that going gets tough, what does Relish do? He gets going. But not to the finish line, of course. No, Relish is a loveable loser. Rather than try to actually win, he visits fans, he looks at the players in the field, or he talks to King Henry, the Cyclones’ court jester. In fact, he goes everywhere but where’s he’s supposed to go, and his lack of focus costs him race after race.

The Brooklyn Paper recently managed an exclusive interview with the underachieving dog, who has won just twice in 20 attempts so far, according to Cyclone spokesman Dave Campanaro.

That’s pretty bad, though it’s a big improvement in some ways. After all, in 2002, Relish lost every single race at Keyspan Park, compiling an astounding 0–37 record.

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This week, he savored his two wins.

“Any race I win is a good race,” said Relish. “I don’t keep any records, but [when] I win, I relish the moment.”

Relish then explained a recent loss.

“Hot dog racing is hard; it’s a dog-eat-dog world on the field. I was winning a race the other night, savoring the moment and looking at the fans, when Mustard and Ketchup clotheslined me, and I lost again.”

This reporter suggested that the easily distracted Relish should consult with Cyclones pitching coach Hector Berrios, an innovative guru noted for helping pitchers develop their ability to concentrate.

“I think Hector could help me,” agreed Relish, but then he once again revealed his inability to concentrate when he misunderstood the question, apparently thinking that Berrios could make him into a Cyclones’ hurler.

“But then again, if I did pitch for the Cyclones, I probably get grilled.”

©2008 The Brooklyn Paper

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