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Bungling burglars

A pair of hapless hoods tried to hold up a Bushwick Avenue bodega on June 13, but they couldn’t pull off the heist because they couldn’t get along.

The perps entered the Eagle Mini Mart at around 11:25 pm and one of the hoodlums — who lifted his shirt to reveal he was carrying a gun in his waistband — ordered shoppers and employees to hit the deck.

“Yo, nobody can move, everybody down,” the crook demanded as he approached the counter.

But that’s when his accomplice got cold feet.

“Don’t do anything, they have cameras,” the other robber said.

The pair of failed felons argued with each other long enough for an employee to dial 911 — then the crooks made up their mind and fled from the shop, which is near the corner of McKibben Street.

J gunpoint

A gun-toting thug mugged a 29-year-old for his cellphone while he rode the J train on June 13.

The perp boarded the train at Hewes Street at around 9:30 pm and approached the victim — who was chatting on the phone — from behind.

The crook put a pistol to the back of the victim’s head and pilfered his pockets, removing a wallet containing IDs, a Social Security card, and a Metrocard.

But the crook wanted more.

“Run your s—t,” the thug said, referring to the victim’s phone.

The crook snatched the cell and exited the train at the Lorimer Street station at the corner of Broadway.

Black-buried!

A thief pushed a 28-year-old woman to the ground and stole her fancy cellphone on June 10.

The crook approached the victim from behind and shoved her over near the corner of Vandervort Place and Thames Street at around 11 pm.

When she was on the ground, the crook grabbed the victim’s Blackberry — valued by police at $520.

Bloodied!

Three thugs cut and clubbed an 18-year-old on June 12 because he wasn’t a member of the Bloods gang.

The hooligans pulled up beside the victim in an SUV on South Second Street at around at around 11:35 pm and informed their mark of their gang affiliation.

“Yo, I’m a Blood,” a crook with cornrows declared.

“I ain’t,” the victim responded.

That’s when one of the perps got out of the car, which was idling on the block between Keap and Hooper streets, and sliced the victim with a razor. Then the thug struck the victim over the head with a metal pipe.

The crooks fled in their vehicle, and the victim was treated at Woodhull Hospital.

Sidekicked

A knife-wielding crook tried to hold up a 13-year-old for his Sidekick cellphone on June 8.

The scalawag approached the teen as he walked home from school at around 2:50 pm at the corner of Broadway and Walton Street.

“Give me your ’kick,” he said, referring to the popular Sidekick cellphone. “You want me to follow you home? Give me your ’kick before I cut you.”

That’s when the perp pushed the victim and pulled out a knife.

The victim dashed away into a nearby furniture store, but the thug chased him into the shop.

Once inside the store, the perp slapped the victim in the face. An employee told the crook to scram.

Southside stabbing!

Cops nabbed two teens suspected of participating in the vicious stabbing of a 20-year-old on June 12.

A group of goons confronted the victim near the corner of S. Fourth and Roebling streets at around 10:30 pm and stabbed the victim seven times.

After the attack, the crooks scattered and the victim was treated at Bellevue Hospital, but witnesses were able to ID a pair of 16-year-olds that allegedly took part in the attack.

Burg burg!

A brazen burglar snatched $1,000 from the bedroom of a Ross Street apartment on June 10 — while the victims were asleep!

The thief — a heavyset man clad in all black — got into the home at around 4:35 am and was in the midst of ransacking the husband and wife’s dresser when the wife awoke.

The woman shouted and the crook fled from the residence, which is between Marcy and Division avenues.

Bad delivery

Two armed crooks held-up a deliveryman for $270, four lemon iced teas, and $15 of Chinese food on June 14.

The crooks — who wore black masks during the stick-up — pulled out a black handgun and robbed the victim on the 19th floor of the building on Clymer Street between Wythe and Bedford avenues at around 6 pm.

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