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Guys, face it: you’re a bunch of lazy shmucks.

When it’s left up to you, Mother’s Day, Tax Day, even your own wedding day tends to get put off, or even outright forgotten, until it’s tragically too late.

But when it comes to Feb. 14, having to come home to the one you’ve wronged can make it a particularly horrendous Hallmark holiday. In fact, the Brooklyn Valentine’s industry is well used to the post-holiday rush of chastised (and unwittingly chaste) lovers seeking ways to mollify their mates.

“We get a lot of people who come in [after Valentine’s Day] who are very upset,” said Charlotte D’Costa-Taylor of Floral Heights, a Brooklyn Heights flower shop.

To spare her frequent customers such pain, D’Costa-Taylor keeps a phone list of regulars. “We call people at the very last minute to remind them,” she said, noting that Valentine’s week is always one of her busiest.

So for all the Layabout Lotharios out there, and there are plenty of you, we’re giving you a freebie. After all, we don’t want your Valentine’s Day to feel like the gruesome aftermath of Friday the 13th.

Wine and win

What’s her favorite wine? Don’t know? Don’t worry! With a Best Buy four-pack ($34.92) or Discovery Wine two-pack ($28.71) from Red White & Bubbly, you’ll travel the world’s vintages and make your own favorite memories. And, as everyone knows, alcohol will lubricate any romantic situation.

Red White & Bubbly [211 Fifth Ave., between Union and President streets in Park Slope, (718) 636-9463].

Rock on

It’s quick, it’s easy, and it’s on sale. With a buy-one-get-one-free special on 14k gold earrings, and 50- to 75-percent discounts on watches, jewelry, and other assorted gifts, Jewels by Satnick is a one-stop shop for the last-minute shopper. Then again, nothing says “I screwed up” like some jewelry, so these steep discounts run through Feb. 14, just long enough to avoid a missed occasion without breaking the bank.

Jewels by Satnick [187 State St., between Court Street and Boerum Place in Brooklyn Heights, (718) 852-1421].

Scented sweetheart

Finding that perfect gift makes not only you anxious. So pick up some stress-relief candles — for your spouse, that is. With gifts ranging from candles and soaps to charm jewelry and vintage handbags, Haystack Home & Body has an eclectic selection. Try a three-piece gift pack with body lotion, bar soap and candle — all pre-wrapped with a pretty ribbon ($35).

Haystack Home & Body [130 Clinton St., between Joralemon and Livingston streets in Brooklyn Heights, (718) 246-2510].

Dine divine

Yes, a romantic dinner is always a classic, and classy, way to entertain that special someone. After dinner at Marco Polo Ristorante, where the Valentine’s Day prix-fixe menu features fennel and blood orange salad, lobster sautéed in spicy tomato sauce and a choice of dessert, plus a roaring fireplace and a musician tickling the ivories, happy couples will no doubt honor the eatery’s namesake with some romantic exploration of their own.

Marco Polo Ristorante [345 Court St. at Union Street in Carroll Gardens. (718) 852-5015].

©2009 The Brooklyn Paper

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