Today’s news:

See the 20-pound lobster now!

for The Brooklyn Paper

Get a load of this load.

Yes, there’s a massive lobster at a Dyker Heights restaurant!

And here’s the even more surprising news: No one is putting on a bib or melting butter.

That’s because the owners of Halu Japanese restaurant on 13th Avenue have decided to do what lobster lovers would say is the unthinkable: return the colossal crustacean to the wild.

“He’s my little boy,” owner Gina Ng said of the massive mollusk that she named “Craig.”

“I think we’ve developed a kind of bond.”

Seeing Craig in his tank is like seeing a post-nuclear horror film. Its claws are bigger than a baby. Its tail is longer than a Golden Retriever’s.

Great. So how come we can’t eat?

Ng said that Craig won’t ever make it to the menu because she heard of a similarly huge lobster at a restaurant in Manhattan that ended up being “saved” by the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals.

Ng reached out to PETA, which will pick up Craig on Tuesday and repatriate him in the icy Atlantic.

How did Craig get so big? It’s not a science experiment gone awry, but merely a result of the natural aging process. Lobsters grow one pound every seven years — but few specimen make it past a few years old before a human (or other predator) takes advantage of natural selection.

If the one-pound-for-every-seven-years rule is true, Craig is 140 years old.

OK, maybe he deserves his retirement.

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Reader Feedback

Amanda says:
I loved this story! Heather did such a great job!
Feb. 13, 2009, 9:32 pm
Ryan from North Carolina says:
What a crazy story!! That thing was huge!! She should have gotten an award for the footage of that..
Feb. 13, 2009, 9:52 pm
Maria from Sunset Park says:
Ge-ersh,
I think your intern is over 18 years old, so she's not a GIRL, she's a woman, now. Encourage tomorrow's reporters with more respect and they'll reward you with more meaty stories.
Keep up the good work, cub reporter!
Feb. 13, 2009, 10:57 pm
Patty from Spruce Head, Maine says:
I work for a lobsters company and generatiions of my family have made their living by lobstering. The Peta people make me sick. Let them get their facts straight. Studies have been done on cooking lobsters and there is no nerve system in a lobster. They don't feel anything. Why don't they tackle the beef, chicken or pork industry. If anything was inhumane, it's those industries. Too much money behind them. Those industries wouldn't allow it.
Feb. 14, 2009, 9:26 am
David from Bensonhurst/Staten Island says:
Pass the "BUTTER"- that was a tastey report-from the man on the street............
Feb. 14, 2009, 12:15 pm
Joel from Maine says:
I love it when you hear these stories about HUGE 20 pound lobsters. We caught a 35 lbs. lobster years ago, and no it isn't uncommon. And by the by, they taste terrible. After 100 years of eating rotten seafood, what would you taste like?
Feb. 14, 2009, 12:34 pm
Doug from Carroll Gardens says:
Yeah, Gersh, tell us: What do you old bottomfeeders taste like?
Feb. 14, 2009, 3:30 pm

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