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This was one low-speed chase

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Old justice

A good-for-nothing troublemaker asked an old lady for money and got it on March 29, but still wasn’t satisfied and went ahead and stole the septuagena­rian’s wallet — but her bad manners resulted in handcuffs.

The elderly victim told cops she was at Bond and Livingston streets at around 6:30 pm when a 32-year-old woman approached her and asked for money. The generous 70-year-old handed her $2, then placed her wallet back in her bag.

But as she walked away, she felt something and turned to see the same woman rifling through her purse. The not-so-cunning thief took off running, with the old lady in slow pursuit, screaming for help.

A bystander then apprehended the woman, and Officer Natasha Lassalle returned the wallet, containing $600, to its rightful owner.

Clumsy con

Two con men duped a woman into handing over some cash and her gold rings on March 28.

The mark told cops that she was approached by the pair of shady characters on Livingston Street between Boerum Place and Smith Street at around 5:55 pm when they made her an offer that was too good to be true.

The pair explained that they were in possession of $36,000, which, for unknown reasons, they were looking to get off their hands. They promised the victim all $36,000 — $20,000 of which would have to be given to charity, the other $10,000 could be kept — if she would just hand over her money and rings.

This bargain sounded like a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity — until the 57-year-old sucker forked over her jewelry and $365 only to discover that the thieves had given her a package containing only cloth.

Moto madness

Three thieves threw a woman’s Honda crotch rocket in the back of their minivan and took off on April 1.

The 31-year-old motorcycle lover told cops she had parked her orange ride on Water Street between Pearl Street and Anchorage Place at around 3:25 pm. A mere minute later, the trio of troublemakers rolled up in a dark blue van with Pennsylvania plates, picked up the bike, put it in the back, and took off.

Thuggery

A thug was arrested on March 31 after menacing a woman by following her in his car.

The victim told cops she had gotten in an argument with the brute at around 12:45 pm at the corner of Gold and York streets. The dispute culminated with the thug swiping her purse, which contained $150. Hours later, the raging bozo returned to the scene and menaced the woman by following her in his car — even going so far as to try force her into his ride.

Later that day, Officer Jason Berkowitz slapped the cuffs on the 36-year-old suspect.

Film this

A sly scumbag swiped a guy’s cellphone and wallet from his desk at the Orchard Films production company on April 1.

The worker told cops that at around 4:30 pm he decided to use the restroom at the office on Jay Street between Water and Front streets. When he returned, he was out a phone and an assortment of IDs and credit cards.

The incident is a rough welcome to the neighborhood: Orchard Films just moved to DUMBO from SoHo.

Boozehound

A pair of thugs robbed a barfly on April 1.

The victim told cops he had just left a bar at Third and Atlantic avenues at around 11:30 pm when the pair approached and grabbed him from behind. They then swiped his wallet and vanished into the night.

Gym rat

A thief stole a student’s wallet from his locker while he worked on his biceps at the NYU Polytech gym on April 1.

The ripped student told cops that he had finished his workout at the gym in the Metrotech Center on Jay Street between Johnson Street and Myrtle Avenue at around 5:30 pm when he returned to his locker to find the lock missing. He then realized the thief had swiped $20 and an assortment of credit cards.

Bodega heist

An armed gunman stormed an Atlantic Avenue bodega and stole $400 on March 31.

An employee at the Apple Gourmet between Bond and Nevins streets said that the fiend entered at around 4:30 pm, pulled a piece and said, “You know what this is!”

The worker did in fact know what that was, and handed over the cash.

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Reader Feedback

Anon from Brooklyn Heights says:
On Weds. Mar 31 1:00PM a woman fell (jumped apparently) from the top of the 51 story Brooklyner apt building 111 Laurence St landing on the SIAC building. Her body remained in full view to the horror of office workers in neighboring MetroTech buildings for 4 hours before finally being covered up with sheets.
April 7, 2010, 9:54 am

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