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And in this week’s league action

The Brooklyn Paper

In a colossal rematch of the Brooklyn Kickball League’s top two teams, second-ranked Brooklyn United asserted its authority over top-ranked Never Scared, defeating the purple players, 6-1.

The game settles the score between the two emerging rivals — Never Scared handed Brooklyn United its only loss of the year — as the battle for supremacy shifted sharply back to the men in black.

Led by all-stars Justin “Nipple” Taylor, Rob “Matzo” Lotzko, Lexi “Governor” Patterson and Autumn “Prison” Jorgensen, Brooklyn United scored early and often, posting two runs in the first, two in the third, one in the fourth and one more in the fifth inning, while limiting Never Scared to only one run.

Never Scared’s Karl “Big Dog” Pawlewicz credited the powerhouse Brooklyn United with its “surgical” attack and strong arms in the field, led by Lotzko, noting that his team was a little rusty coming out of a bye week. Earlier that night, Never Scared suffered a stunning defeat to Salute Your Jorts, dropping its record to 8-3.

“It’s always a good time playing them though, they have a very competitive team,” said Pawlewicz. “Rob [Lotzko] has got a solid arm and made some good kicks for them and their leadoff guy scored twice against us also.”

Taylor in turn praised Never Scared for playing a “great game” despite the lopsided score, but he reserved his scorn for fourth-ranked Majesty, whose team did not field enough players and took a bye week instead of forfeiting the match.

“Majesty showed up to the field, but somehow were unable to field a team, leaving both Never Scared and us opponent-less which is why we played each other,” said Taylor. “Majesty had been on top all year playing teams ranked below them. When it finally came time to play two teams with a better record than theirs, they packed up and went home.”

In its second game, Brooklyn United had to settle for a tie with ninth-ranked Bacon Bits. The United’s Tank “The Frank” Moylan, notably the only person in the country to win a state spelling bee in elementary, middle, and high school, blasted a solo home run to center field to knot the score at 3-3 in the third winning, when play was suspended after the field’s lights went out at 11:15 pm. No make-up game will be rescheduled as both teams played a full three innings.

In other games, seventh-ranked New Frontiersmen, playing without Matt “Marquis De” Sadewitz, romped over Salute Your Jorts by a score of 8-0 and clipped Zeus’ Beard, 4-1, priming the team for a strong second-half run.

Ram Rod, a Tuesday-league team, tied People’s Court, and the sixth-ranked Pony Boys lost to the 10th-ranked Mathletes, whose depleted roster received some reinforcements from members of the Dirty South Crunkball All Stars, winners of the league’s all star game.

Commissioner Kevin “The Commish” Dailey did not have an issue with the Atlanta invasion, noting that many rosters were depleted after a long weekend of kickball competitions.

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