Today’s news:

See your weekend fun calendar with The Weekender!

for The Brooklyn Paper

Marty Markowitz might not be able to bring his wife abroad in the near future, but that doesn’t mean you can’t book some vacation time this weekend. As always, the steadfast Weekender is here to tell you how.

• True, Shakespeare’s “The Tempest” wasn’t originally set on the Gowanus Canal, but that’s not stopping this gutsy theater troupe from adapting the bard’s classic comedy, “The Merry Wives of Windsor,” into a gold-chain-laden mafioso masterpiece tonight, tomorrow and Sunday at Our Lady’s Field in Windsor Terrace.

• It’s Brooklyn’s biggest name in arthouse animation all weekend at BAMcinématek in Fort Greene and the Automotive HS in Greenpoint, where 98 short films from around the world will be pushing the boundaries of cartoons as an art form.

• Batman this ain’t. Sing along to a subtitled screening of Christian Bale’s 1990s Disney flop, “Newsies,” on Friday night at the Bell House in Gowanus, where there’ll be as much fun as kitsch between the musical numbers and the costumed dance-offs — drinks included!

• Hearken back to the glory days of sword-swallowers and contortionists at the Coney Island Talent Show this Saturday, where a real troupe of freaks and geeks will strut down the Boardwalk in full burlesque fashion.

• They say dead men tell no tales, but fortunately for you, that’s not keeping Red Hook’s resident pirate enthusiasts from celebrating the swashbuckling ways of the high seas this Saturday at Erie Basin Park.

• It’s civil war at Mount Prospect Park next to the Brooklyn Botanic Garden this Sunday, as the Xoregos Performing Company puts on a faithful adaptation of “Antigone,” Sophocles’ bloody tale of fraternal intrigue and indecent burials.

• Beat the heat — West Indies-style! In partnership with the Weekender (who already has impeccable taste in spicy poultry), crack reporter and self-described jerk jerk Dan Macleod has tracked down the tastiest, most finger-lickin’ island-style chicken on Flatbush. Go ahead, jerk yourself silly.

• Still reeling from their humiliating defeat at the Southern-fried hands of Georgia’s elite sluggers earlier this month, Brooklyn kickball is at it again this Sunday. Swing by McCarren Park in Greenpoint as the Mathletes continue their unrelenting campaign against the likes of Brooklyn United and American Blood. If you go, you’re likely to run into Aaron Short, the Red Smith of Brooklyn Kickball.

And as always, these and other great events are in our exclusive family calendar, our great nightlife calendar, and our matchless events calendar.

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