Today’s news:

Love stinks: Greenpoint sewage plant to host Valentine’s Day tour

The Brooklyn Paper

Nothing says I love you like the smell of sewage in the morning.

The Newtown Creek Wastewater Treatment Plant will offer a romantic early morning tour of its Greenpoint sludge-processing facility on Feb. 14, perhaps the strangest way to show your date you care — or subtly indicate that things aren’t working out.

Put on some comfortable boots, snuggle up with your companion, and hold your breath when the plant’s ruggedly handsome superintendent, Jimmy Pynn, explains how the city cleans 1.3 billion gallons of wastewater each day.

You’ll get to see every aspect of the plant’s waste treating process, and even take a trip through its suggestively shaped digester tanks, where plucky microorganisms break down what you and your date ate for lunch yesterday, producing methane and carbon dioxide gas.

And at the end of the tour, Pynn will give each attendee a Hershey’s Kiss — because there’s nothing sweeter than protecting the environment.

But no visit to the plant is complete without picking up some free sewage swag at its Greenpoint Avenue Visitor’s Center.

Or you can do one better and order your Valentine’s Day card in advance, which reads “Greenpoint — where love is in the air!” via neighborhood blogger Miss Heather’s website for only $3.99!

Just take your date to a nice dinner later, to hedge your bets.

Guided Tour of the Newtown Creek Wastewater Treatment Plant [329 Greenpoint Ave. at Humboldt Street in Greenpoint, (718)595-6600] Feb. 14, 9:30-11:30 am. For reservations, email events@dep.nyc.gov.

Reach reporter Aaron Short at ashort@cnglocal.com or by calling (718) 260-2547.

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Reader Feedback

Myra says:
How smelly and subtle way to break off a funky ship. Thanks!
Feb. 9, 2012, 11:57 am
lol from flushing says:
what a sh*tty date.
Feb. 9, 2012, 1:44 pm
caroline from greenpoint says:
Hello,
After reading the announcement about spending time with my loved one in Newtown Creek Wastewater Treatment Plant on Valentine's day,I am trilled and anxious to ask for an appointment.Are you expecting political figures..?Finally this is amazing plant and project.
Since the group responsible for this event, promise to show all the process of converting rectum waste...Sewage treatment, or domestic wastewater treatment, whatever name you want to call,I am absolutely thrilled to see the show.
I hope to see the process from the genesis..so I could stop imaging how my loved one's every morning sh*t is being converted to eco waste —— .
He spend a lot of time every day in the bathroom making sure he empty his rectum.I love him so much that knowing this process could resolve my every day worries. Worries,about all other lovers who weight up this conversion of rectum waste to eco product sh*t. I believe there are many of them in the neighborhood.
So,I think it is very important to understand the process and I encourage all Valentine's lovers to join the opportunity to see the show...finally the plant looks really sexy(like big nice breast of po*no star). Rose with thorn instead of Hershey's Kiss would be more welcome.By the way Hershey deserves sh*tty Kiss!.

Happy Valentine!
Feb. 10, 2012, 12:04 am

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