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Competitive erotic fan fiction

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If you ever wondered what would happen if Robocop had a love affair with the ED 209, then this show’s for you.

An off-beat comedic show-down titled “Competitive Erotic Fan Fiction” is pitting ten comedians against each other in a battle for laughs, where they win points telling stories about steamy love affairs between popular film and television characters.

“The stories can be based an any television, movie, or historical characters,” said show creator Bryan Cook, who’ll host the event on March 16 at Union Hall. “The only caveat is that it’s made erotic.”

There will be two rounds featuring five comics each.

In the first round, the comedians present five stories featuring popular or cult characters doing the dirty for the audience’s delight.

The second round is a little different: the comedians take suggestions from the audience and then go backstage for about 45-minutes to think of as many lewd moves for the audience’s chosen characters.

“People like to do cross-overs from time-to-time,” said Cook. “Pretty much anything and everything has come up. One story had the Gieco Gecko.”

Sometimes the comics approach Cook looking for suggestions, to which he always answers with the same reply — alcohol and sex.

“Generally when people ask me, I tell them to get to the f------ as quick as possible, or else the audience loses interest,” Cook said. “Also, bourbon tends to help.”

The audience chooses the winners from each round through the use of Cook’s very lo-tech applause-o-meter — his ears — at which time the victor is awarded a year’s supply of glory and fame, free to imagine Robocop slow-clapping in approval.

“Catch Competitive Erotic Fan Fiction” at Union Hall [702 Union St. between Fifth and Sixth avenues in Park Slope, (718) 638–4400, unionhallny.com]. March 16, 7:30 pm. $10.

Reach reporter Colin Mixson at cmixson@cnglocal.com or by calling (718) 260-4514.

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