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How “Low” can you go!?! I’m madder than a squirrel who’s lost his nuts over the city’s cockamamie plan to put little kids inside Seth Low Intermediate School in Bensonhurst as part of an even more cockamamie plan to house a charter school in my beloved IS 96.
And what gets me even more steamed is the fact that it is the same cockamamie plan!
Look, you all know that the ol’Screecher was once a card-carrying member of the local Community School District back when men were men and the mayor didn’t control what went on in or schools — or give away space within those walls to new schools run by people who are not running the old school.
Back then, our schools were considered the best in the city, and we did just fine without having to worry about tyrants in City Hall stealing the democracy out from under us. And we certainly didn’t worry about former couicilmembers shoving their own schools down our throats.
The latest bad idea has another one of those charter schools — this one with little tiny kids in it — moving into Seth Low, home of bigger kids.
Now, folks, I don’t need to tell you that this is an obamanation form the get-go, because what kind of sick parent would want to put his kindergartner in a school with a bunch of potty-mouth tweens and teens in the first place?
And I also know exactly what you are thinking now: “Carmine, how the heck can you condemn an entire generation of students like that when you can’t possibly know for certain that every kid uses expressions like “Shut the front door.”
Well I’ll tell you how I know — because its true!
But that isn’t the only reason I wouldn’t allow these little tykes in with the bigger kids. In fact, there is another one, and it has do do with finances. Do you know how much it would cost to lower all the urinals so the little ones can make? Well, I don’t either, but my guess is a lot, and it ain’t worth it!
Couldn’t the charter school find a place that already has bathrooms that are little-kid friendly?
So that was one of the points I made last week during a hearing on this plan. As usual, I charged down to the gathering and was the first in line to speak. But they wouldn’t let me and my trusty steed Tornado take the microphone until after a slew of politicians, the principal of Seth Low, and some kids from the school spoke first.
Now you know as well as I do that the old adage in Vaudville is to never follow kids or animals. Faced with this impossible dilemma, all I could do was echo the sentiments of all those people who spoke against the plan — and they all did — then bring up the problem with the urinals.
So that didn’t go over to well for me, but I tell you this, something went over even worse.
Turns out while I was out doing my civic duty and demanding a misguided plan be stopped in it’s tracks, my lovely wife Sharon was at Kohl’s charging up a storm on her credit card. And when I say her credit card, I mean our credit card, because who do you think gets stuck with the bill?
So, we learned two things this week: the co-location at Seth Low is bad, and when you hear that incredibly loud screech later in the month, it’s me getting my Kohls bill!
Screech at you next week!
©2013 Community Newspaper Group
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