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If Life Gives You Carbon Dioxide, Learn to Make Seltzer • Brooklyn Paper

If Life Gives You Carbon Dioxide, Learn to Make Seltzer

Someday, the above-average children of Lake Wobegon will grow up and create millions of well paying green jobs producing cheap, clean and renewable energy. The climate will always be not too warm and not too cold, i.e. 'just right.' A light jacket will be perfect for the evenings and it will never rain if you forgot your umbrella.

Until then, we will need oil and natural gas and the only question will be where we get it. Conservation alone won't be enough.

Drilling carries risks. But NOT drilling also carries risks. NOT drilling means we have to import oil and gas, which means we have "interests" all over the world, which means we have to have a military presence all over the world….

It used to be that we needed a strong military to fight Communism. Now we need one to turn on our hair dryers.

Pop quiz:

In 2008, Russia invaded the Republic of Georgia.

Because the United States considers Georgia a "strategic partner," this could have led to a Thirld World War which would have been…brief.

To the best of your knowledge, the most likely explanation for Russia's action was (choose one):

a) The original recording of Ray Charles' "Georgia on my Mind" is believed to be located in a vault in Tibilisi (the capitol of the Republic of Georgia).

b) Large pipelines carrying oil and natural gas from the fields beneath the Caspian Sea to the Mediterranean and then on to supply Western Europe pass thru the Republic of Georgia giving that country great geopolitical importance

May we, or at least our children and grandchildren live to see the day that the background white noise in the Middle East will be, "Pass the falafel, Farouk" rather than "Aim a little to the right, Ahmed."

Dr. Finger practices Otolaryngology in Brooklyn, NY. In 2006, he ran for Congress on both Libertarian and Republican lines. He now spends his spare time ttrying to turn seltzer into carbon dioxide to help make Greenland green again. He can be reached at DrSteveFinger@aol.com.

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