The Brooklyn Angle, by Gersh Kuntzman

December, 2008

Bad breaks: The year when everything fell apart

Brooklyn Angle: There was no more important story in the borough this year than the double-fracture of my ankle — not because of its news value, but in the way it predicted a horrible year of bad breaks all around (including my broken heart over the death of Ayveq, the masturbating walrus). Comments (1)

The man who lost to Obama! A Brooklyn Paper exclusive!

Brooklyn Angle: It is no small thing to say that a Park Slope lawyer named David Goldberg is one of the most important figures in American history. Comment

October, 2008

Average ‘Joes’

Brooklyn Angle: The nation now knows that “Joe the Plumber” is a myth. But Joe the plumber is real. Comment

Anxiety on Main Street

Brooklyn Angle: Who knew that the “Main Street” that all those congressmen have been talking about is right here in Brooklyn? Comment

September, 2008

Beer bust man fights back!

Brooklyn Angle: Exclusive: The guy who got the ticket for drinking a beer on his stoop may not be able to fight City Hall, but he is going to burp right in its face! Comments (1)

Park goes to pork

Brooklyn Angle: Our columnist loves barbecue, but not at the expense of Prospect Park, which saw a massive spike in illegal grilling this summer. Comments (1)

August, 2008

Buzz off!

Brooklyn Angle: Our columnist makes a big discovery: the mosquito population is booming. Comments (4)

Two Dylans show up at Prospect Park

Brooklyn Angle: Our columnist gives his review of the event of the season: Bob Dylan in Prospect Park. Comments (11)

It’s the pits! ‘Greenest’ block contest mired in muck

Brooklyn Angle: I came to compost Eighth Street, not to praise it. Yes, I was there on Wednesday, when the gray expanse between Eighth Avenue and Prospect Park West was named the “Greenest Block in Brooklyn” by the Brooklyn Botanic Garden. Comments (1)

July, 2008

Our man grills the commish

Brooklyn Angle: Our columnist went to the official “Welcome Back” ceremony for the Red Hook vendors — but found himself getting nauseus from all the politicians taking credit for “saving” the vendors from the very bureaucracy they set up to ensnare them! Comments (3)

Tell Mr. Guinness! Man breaks Shakespeare show record in Red Hook

Brooklyn Angle: OK, so maybe the one-man sword fight in “Macbeth” left too much to the imagination. And maybe the 16-comedy ferry ride felt a little rushed. And, yeah, that 25-second “Julius Caesar” lost some of the angst of Brutus’s existential struggle, but you try doing 31 Shakespeare plays in three hours. Comment

The Greatest! Chestnut beats Kobayashi in historic playoff

Brooklyn Angle: Joey Chestnut, the greatest eater in modern history and, perhaps of all time, outdid even himself on July 4 at Coney Island, tying former six-time world champ Takeru Kobayashi with 59 hot dogs and buns in the 10-minute contest — and then shoving down five more HDBs in an unprecedented one-on-one stuff-your-faceoff to beat Kobayashi by mere seconds. Comment

June, 2008

Mo Willems bails on our borough and heads north

Brooklyn Angle: The beloved kids author and Brooklyn fixture has moved to Massachusetts from Park Slope, the neighborhood that served as his creative font for more than 15 years. Comments (1)

Splitsville: Brooklyn divorces up 30%

Brooklyn Angle: All our exes live in … Brooklyn? Yes, divorce cases are soaring in Kings County — up a whopping 30 percent since 2003. Comments (2)

Gersh’s outrage!

Brooklyn Angle: Our columnist was so angry that tickets to Bob Dylan’s Aug. 12 concert in Prospect Park were not available to the general public that he took Dylan’s celebrated relationship screed, “Positively 4th Street” and gave it a few new lyrics. Comments (5)

May, 2008

Thief of bad bags

Brooklyn Angle: In one of the most lopsided votes since the re-election of Chairman Mao in 1954, members of Brooklyn’s famously progressive supermarket, the Park Slope Food Co-op, voted nearly unanimously on Tuesday night to stop making plastic shopping bags available at the checkout counter. And our columnist was there! Comments (1)

Thief of bad bags: Park Slope Food Co-op bans plastic bags

Brooklyn Angle: In one of the most lopsided votes since the re-election of Chairman Mao in 1954, members of Brooklyn’s famously progressive supermarket, the Park Slope Food Co-op, voted nearly unanimously on Tuesday night to stop making plastic shopping bags available at the checkout counter. Comments (6)

This green toilet doesn’t stink!

Brooklyn Angle: Talk about a crappy assignment! Our columnist gives his review of Clinton Hill’s solar-powered outhouse. And, like Bette Davis might have said, “What a dump!” Comment

Banned! Food Co-op no longer bottled up

Brooklyn Angle: Water, water everywhere — but there’s no longer a drop of the bottled variety at the Park Slope Food Co-op. Comment

April, 2008

Our man in Baghdad

Brooklyn Angle: Tucker Reed, who spent the last two years fixing potholes, handing out energy-efficient lightbulbs and keeping the peace between DUMBO’s warring factions, is heading to Iraq to do, basically, the same thing. Comment

‘Naughty’ Brooklyn gets porn party

Brooklyn Angle: Our columnist is appalled — and excited — by news that Brooklyn is the “naughtiest place” in America. This column is definitely PG-13. Comments (7)

I paid $3 for this coffee!

Brooklyn Angle: Finally, a place to get a $3 cup of coffee on Fourth Avenue! Comments (1)

Judge for yourself — Abe speaks

Brooklyn Angle: Nobody likes a bad review. So when former City Councilman Abe Gerges — now the newly minted administrative judge at the Adams Street courthouse — read our recent editorial slamming judges for parking on a walkway in Columbus Park, he did what any former show-business performer would have done. He called me to complain. Comments (2)

Footnote: Editor of Year’s ankle mending slowly

Brooklyn Angle: Gersh Kuntzman’s bones are proving slow to heal, nearly 11 weeks after his Jan. 11 slip-and-fall in a Vermont parking lot. Here’s an exclusive update on this breaking story. Comment

March, 2008

He’s the new Weatherman: Quirky Slope storm chaser breaks silence about hobby

Brooklyn Angle: Our columnist gets the first interview with the keeper of the “Park Slope weather” Web site — the Internet’s biggest hit since the Obama girl. Comments (2)

Nothing for Nader

Brooklyn Angle: Call him a Nader Traitor — but the only Brooklynite to contribute to Ralph Nader’s inept 2004 campaign has bailed on the twice-failed presidential hopeful. He’s not alone. Comments (1)

Cast away! I’m finally free — sort of — after accepting my award!

Brooklyn Angle: Our columnist discovers that there is only one thing better than being named “Editor of the Year” by a major national newspaper trade association: Getting the cast off his broken ankle! Comment

February, 2008

Scandal! Beep accepts our check, but says auction was a fake!

Brooklyn Angle: Our photo appears to show Borough President Markowitz accepting a ceremonial check for $500 for his Camp Brooklyn charity — but is it really a picture of him stabbing our Editor-of-the-Year in the back? Comment

Cast party! Local councilman wins gigantic bidding war for my ankle brace

Brooklyn Angle: Our columnist’s cast auction goes well — with two councilmen in a bidding war! Comments (1)

Gersh’s ankle goes on vacation

Brooklyn Angle: Despite an ankle injury that would deter lesser men, our Editor of the Year hit the beach in Mexico this week, cast and crutches be damned! Comment

My ankle is having an affair

Brooklyn Angle: Our columnist is cheating on his doctor. No wonder! The doctor didn’t even call him back when he complained of “considerable pain.” Comments (1)

January, 2008

Yes, the pain is exquisite, thanks

Brooklyn Angle: Chapter two in our columnist’s series about his broken ankle. This week: His doctor blows him off! Comments (4)

Freak accident fells Editor of the Year

Brooklyn Angle: Our columnist breaks his ankle — but lives to write about it. Comments (1)

Inside the Brooklyn caucus

Brooklyn, Iowa: Our columnist takes you inside an actual Iowa caucus room: “What I saw was the most basic form of democracy in action. I was proud to be an American.” Comment

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