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Stan has some more questions for you • Brooklyn Paper

Stan has some more questions for you

Once again, I remind you that questions can be more than just an attempt to gain information.

The line ending with an “eroteme” often makes a statement. Any of the following can be used to stimulate discussion at your next cocktail party.

If the Boston Bomber is found guilty, what punishment would you inflict? Me? I would rent Yankee Stadium for a public hanging with a charge of ten bucks a seat and donate all proceeds to a victims’ relief fund. With that said, I really don’t care what names you call me. By the way, Utah is currently discussing bringing back the firing squad. Will the gallows follow?

Where are the results of the Bowe Bergdahl investigation that was finished three months ago? Who is covering whose tuchus?

Do you really believe that a bad deal with Iran is better than no deal? Everybody on both sides of the aisle agrees that Iran cannot be trusted. What will they say if the Iranians secretly manufacture the big bomb and decide to obliterate Tel Aviv? “Oops?”

So, why do so many of you start a sentence with the word “so?” The word “so” is meant to continue a sentence, not start one.

Why is my president dead set against the Keystone XL pipeline? The Washington Post tells us that according to Environmental Protection Agency estimates the additional carbon dioxide emissions from burning that oil would be only 0.286 percent of the total emissions in the United States. That is about one tenth the amount of greenhouse gas released each year from the flatulence of cows. Has anyone ever thought about sprinkling Gas-X into their feed?

How can you defeat an enemy who you don’t admit exists? Why won’t President Obama call terrorism “Islamic?” Whatever his reasoning is, let us remember that this is the same man that said, “If you like your plan you can keep your plan — period!” Pants on fire!

Hillary claims she deleted her personal e-mails such as those dealing with Chelsea’s wedding. Does anyone really care what color her bridesmaids’ gowns were or what brand of chopped liver was served at the cocktail hour? Let’s remember, this is the woman who landed in Bosnia and claimed that her group “ran with our heads down from the plane to avoid sniper fire at the Tuzla Air Base.” Pantsuit on fire!

I know it will not happen, but with the e-mail and foreign donation controversies surrounding the Clintons and the promise of more to come, there is whispering that Hillary should drop out of the race. Who would you want to take her place? My choice would be Joe Biden — for one reason: he is so beatable.

Why do so many young women find it necessary to scream in the theatre or at a concert? I mean really blood-curdling screams. Didn’t they ever learn to applaud?

How do you feel about Arabic students saying the pledge “One nation under Allah?” My editor, fine gentleman that he is, would probably never publish my true feelings about it — too many expletives.

I love pretzels. Right now they seem to be more prevalent than ever. There is a popular restaurant chain that serves burgers on pretzel buns. Many bagel bakeries are busy baking pretzel bagels. I am sure you have seen the ad for pretzel pizzas. With Passover just a few days away, I am StanGershbein@Bellsouth.net asking, do you think someone would bake pretzel matzos? I hope so.

Read Stan Gershbein’s column every Monday on BrooklynDaily.com.

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