For those of you with a teenager in the house, the bait-and-switch tactic is not a new concept. In fact, most teens have been using this technique for so long, they’ve created an elaborate art form. It starts out with “I’m going to Ann’s house, OK?” You say, yes, you like Ann.
Now here is where the old bait-and-switch comes into play. Your child knows you will say okay to Ann’s house, but your teen has no intention of ever going to Ann’s house, because the plans are really for Ben’s house, but your teen knows you don’t really like Ben. So of course, on the way to Ann’s house a snag miraculously pops up and now your teen texts you saying, “We have to go to Ben’s house, because Ann is not around.” So you text back, “You can’t go to Ben’s house, come home.” But because your teen is in Chris’s car with three conspiring bait-and-switchers, your little con-artist can’t just come home and now even though you don’t like Ben and you don’t want your child at Ben’s house, your teen is there and there ain’t a damn thing you can do about it.
Until your child comes home, of course. Then you can ground her.
But even that really doesn’t change future bait-and-switch plans. Your child just modifies the story the next go-round. Believe me, my child is the queen of the bait-and-switch. She is so adept that half the time I don’t even know that I’ve been baited-and-switched until way after the hook is digested and on the way out.
However, a recent bait-and-switch had a surprising conclusion — and a tasty one at that.
Bri was going with Gab to get a haircut. Okay. Then she texted and said, “I’m stopping at Gab’s for a little while and then I’ll be home. Okay.” “KK” I texted. (By the way, texting has also updated the bait-and-switch method, ’cause you just can’t yell the same way in a text that you can in live conversation. Besides, you don’t get a text once you “yell,” so your argument goes nowhere).
Anyway, before you know it the old bait-and-switch has Bri staying at Gab’s house later than the 8:30 pm curfew. But there’s a really good reason: they aremaking truffles. Now, I ask you: how can I say no to truffles. I tell her, “KK, but I need a sample or two.”
Which brings us to the point of this column. When she got in the car she presented me with an Oreo truffle. This treat was by far the tastiest truffle my teeth have ever taken a bite of. These creative confections were made from one package of Oreo cookies, one package of Philly cream cheese and two bags of semi-sweet morsels melted over a double boiler. That’s it. The truffles were so good, I couldn’t wait to whip up a batch of my own.
So the next time your teen baits and switches you, have the above ingredients on hand and whip up a batch of your own treats to nurse those hook wounds. You will be rewarded with one heck of a truffle. Sit back eat a treat and wait for that change-of-plans text to come in.
Not for nuthin’™, but the old bait-and-switch never tasted so good.
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