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Detailed threat does not translate into bucks for bank robber

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84th Precinct

Brooklyn Heights–DUMBO–Boerum Hill–Downtown

Bounced

Police are looking for a guy who they say tried to rob a bank on Court Street on Feb. 26.

The would-be robber entered the bank, between Livingston and Schermerhorn streets, at 4:50 pm wearing a black jacket, a gray hooded sweatshirt, blue jeans, and sunglasses, cops said.

He handed the teller a note that, according to a police report, said:

“I have a gun. Do what I say or I’ll start shooting. First take $100 bills fan them out in front of you. No dye pack, or I’ll shoot. Put them in envelope. Then do the same with $50. No dye packs or I’ll shoot. You have one minute starting now. Go.”

The bumbling bandit did not display a weapon and took off before getting any dough, a report said.

No contract

Cops are searching for a villain who they say punched a 30-year-old woman in the face and took her cellphone on Flatbush Avenue Extension on Feb. 24.

The victim told cops she was sitting down near the intersection of Willoughby Street at 7 pm when the brute approached, whacked her on the left side of her face, grabbed her mobile device, and made like a tree, according to police.

Office case

A crook stole four laptops and an electronic tablet from an office on Jay Street over the weekend of Feb. 21, cops said.

Employees locked up the workplace between Plymouth and John streets on Friday at 7:30 pm and showed up to work Monday morning at 9:20 to discover the stuff missing, according to a police report. There was no sign of forced entry and maintenance workers had access to the building, the report says.

Locker-room raiders

Two fitness buffs had their stuff stolen on Feb. 25 and 26, cops said.

One 23-year-old gym-goer reported someone snagged her wallet from inside her locker at a gym on Boerum Place on Feb. 25.

She started her workout in the gym between Dean and Pacific streets at 11 am and, when she returned to the locker two hours later, her stuff was gone, cops said. The lock was not damaged, and the no-goodnik got away with a debit card and $30 in cash, according to a report.

Another iron-pumper was burglarized on Feb. 26 inside a gym on Livingston Street, police said.

The 32-year-old victim told cops she went to work out at the fitness center between Elm Place and Bond Street at 7:20 pm and finished at 8:40 pm, only to discover her lock broken and her bag missing.

The crook snagged a Marc Jacobs bag that contained a Louis Vuitton wallet holding debit and credit cards, along with house and car keys, according to cops.

Telltale butt

A sinister smoker broke into a Livingston Street apartment on Feb. 26 and stole a laptop after ransacking the place, cops said.

The 31-year-old victim left her apartment between Nevins and Bond streets at 10:35 am and, when she arrived back at 9 pm, she noticed that her stuff had been tossed around, and that her laptop was missing, cops said.

The woman also noticed a cigarette butt and said none who lives in the apartment smokes, according to a report.

Gone postal

A sneak-thief snagged a woman’s purse inside the post office on Cadman Plaza East on Feb. 26, cops said.

The 17-year-old woman said she was inside the building between Tillary and Johnson streets from 10 to 10:30 am and left her purse on a bench unattended. When she went back to the bench, the handbag had disappeared, according to cops.

The woman said the bag contained a credit card, a gym card, and some beauty tools.

Pole assault

One of a group of delinquents bashed a 42-year-old man with a pole during a botched robbery on Dean Street on Feb. 28, cops said.

The victim was walking between Nevins and Bond streets at 6:25 pm when he came upon a group of 10 teens, cops said.

“Give me your phone, or I’ll shoot you,” one of the teens said, according to police.

The victim refused and the teen beaned him with some kind of a pole before taking off, cops said.

Cane-point robbery

Cops busted two guys from a trio that they say robbed a 15-year-old after threatening to hit him with a cane on the subway platform of the Atlantic Avenue–Barclays Center station on Feb. 24.

The kid told cops he was waiting for a Manhattan-bound N train at the station near Pacific Street at 2:55 pm, when the three hooligans approached.

“Give me all your money,” one dope demanded, according to cops.

Another of the toughs threatened the poor kid with a walking cane, then the first reached into the kid’s coat pocket and removed his cash, $71 in total, a police report said.

Diamonds aren’t forever

A thief nicked a pricey diamond tennis bracelet from the counter of a Fulton Street jewelry store on March 1, police stated.

The 32-year-old victim stated he was in the store between Flatbush Avenue Extension and Hanover Place at 6:20 pm when he put the bracelet on the counter, walked away for two minutes, and returned to find it gone.

You look lost

An scallywag mugged a woman on Henry Street on March 2 after pretending to be lost, cops said.

The 32-year-old victim told cops the cretin asked her for directions while she was between State and Joralemon streets at 5:40 pm. The lowlife walked away for a few seconds, then doubled back, grabbing the woman by her hair, and snatched her phone from her hand, cops said. The goon took off running on Henry Street towards Atlantic Avenue, they said.

Shot fired

A gunman or woman shot a 20-year-old man in the thigh on York Street on March 2, police reported.

The victim said he was in front of the Farragut Houses near the corner of Gold Street at 3 pm when the shooter popped him in the thigh. Cops found a 9 mm shell casing near by, they said.

— Matthew Perlman

Updated 10:17 pm, July 9, 2018
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