Steeling hearts: Speed metal speed dating at St. Vitus

for Brooklyn Paper
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Cupid’s arrows are made of metal!

Single headbangers should thrash their way to the St. Vitus bar in Greenpoint on April 10 for a night of metal music and speed dating. The dates might be as short as a blistering Slayer tune, but sometimes that is enough, says the evening’s host.

“You see someone you find attractive in a Motörhead t-shirt and then you unzip your biker jacket to reveal your Black Sabbath t-shirt — and the next thing you know you’re at the free clinic together. It can happen really fast if you just believe,” said Dave Hill.

The comedian and self-proclaimed “King of Metal” has a proven track record of combining music and romance, regularly hosting a Morrissey-themed speed dating night at Greenpoint bar Black Rabbit.

“It was instantly really popular,” said Hill. “The place was packed and people were making out in the bathroom and stuff. Mission accomplished. Anyway, since I love metal it seemed crazy not to try a similar thing with metal music.”

Hill, who says that “Living After Midnight” by Judas Priest is the most romantic song of all time, confirms the night will run like any other speed dating event, with metalheads pairing off for “dates” that last just a few minutes. But the evening’s atmosphere will be assisted by a fog machine, and “Iron Maiden Trooper” beer.

Hill reports that Brooklyn’s population of female metal fans have jumped at the opportunity, with as many ladies signing up for the night as dudes. And Hill has also kept gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender metal fans in mind for the night.

“If the night proves not to be LGBT-friendly enough, we will start an LGBT Speed Metal Dating night,” said Hill. “In fact, I can’t wait to whip up the flyer.”

People are also welcome to come and observe that night, without a need to jump into the mosh pit of love.

The world of metal music is split by huge divisions between the micro-genres, with trash metal fans set against symphonic metal enthusiasts, and both snubbing the growls of death metal warblers. But Hill thinks that love will be able to conquer all.

“I am hoping everyone can open their hearts to other forms of metal and, while they’re at it, their pants to love,” he said.

Speed Metal Dating at St. Vitus (1120 Manhattan Ave. between Clay and Box streets in Greenpoint, April 10 at 8 pm. Free.

Updated 10:17 pm, July 9, 2018
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Reasonable discourse

Alice from Greenwood Heights says:
Sounds grate!
April 5, 2016, 11:37 am

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