Catch Uzimon — a reggae legend in his own smoke-filled mind

The Brooklyn Paper
Share on TwitterTweet
Share on Facebook

Get our stories in your inbox, free.

Like Brooklyn Paper on Facebook.

Uzimon, Bermuda’s most-ignorant reggae superstar, is coming to Brooklyn to fire the opening salvo in what he calls a nationwide “reggaeluti­on.”

When The Brooklyn Paper caught up with the Quixotic Uzimon, who will perform on Friday night with his compadres, the Compassionate Gunmen, the singer said he was on the lam due after a marijuana possession summons.

“Me can’t tell you where I am,” Uzimon said in a thick Jamaican accent. “Because then the police will found out I am at de Motel 6 looking at Mount Rushmore.”

Obviously, Uzimon is somewhat delusional.

Nevertheless, the bearded buffoon will be taking the stage tomorrow and then blasting the audience with his lyrics, which include the songs “Nasty Foot Gal,” “Fertility Clinic,” and “Steven Seagal” (one of Uzi’s idols).

“My lyrics are deadly, my lyrics literally become bullets. So I am a deadly weapon,” Uzimon said.

Uzi added that his mastery of reggae was achieved totally on his own, without the aid or inspiration of anyone.

“Like any other child, my parents raised me until me was 5 years-old, and then abandoned me and left me in the care of my nanny,” Uzi recalled. “She brought me to Jamaica, where I was very influenced by the music I would make. Sometimes I would tap on the wall and then I would sing — that influenced me to become a great artist.”

But no matter how great he thinks he is, very few people have heard of him — for now. Uzimon plans to hijack the Brooklyn music scene beginning this Friday with what he calls the first ever reggae dancehall musical.

“We will be infiltrating Brooklyn via the Gowanus Canal,” said the apparently uninformed singer. “Then we will mash up the dance and kill the audience, crisply, gently.”

“The Uzical” at Galapagos Art Space [16 Main St. between Water and Plymouth streets in DUMBO, (718) 222-8500] on Friday, April 16 at 10 pm. Tickets $15.

Updated 10:57 pm, April 15, 2010
Today’s news:
Share on TwitterTweet
Share on Facebook

Get our stories in your inbox, free.

Like Brooklyn Paper on Facebook.

Reasonable discourse

Grenade from Warwick says:
UZI's track Steven Seagal is insane!
April 15, 2010, 9:11 pm
Colt45 from Bermy Town says:
Padapapapapapingpingpingping! Uzi selloff!
April 16, 2010, 2:03 pm
Weatherman from London says:
Long live Uzimon! The Reggaelution is worldwide! *AIRHORN*
April 16, 2010, 6:40 pm

Enter your comment below

By submitting this comment, you agree to the following terms:

You agree that you, and not or its affiliates, are fully responsible for the content that you post. You agree not to post any abusive, obscene, vulgar, slanderous, hateful, threatening or sexually-oriented material or any material that may violate applicable law; doing so may lead to the removal of your post and to your being permanently banned from posting to the site. You grant to the royalty-free, irrevocable, perpetual and fully sublicensable license to use, reproduce, modify, adapt, publish, translate, create derivative works from, distribute, perform and display such content in whole or in part world-wide and to incorporate it in other works in any form, media or technology now known or later developed.

First name
Last name
Your neighborhood
Email address
Daytime phone

Your letter must be signed and include all of the information requested above. (Only your name and neighborhood are published with the letter.) Letters should be as brief as possible; while they may discuss any topic of interest to our readers, priority will be given to letters that relate to stories covered by The Brooklyn Paper.

Letters will be edited at the sole discretion of the editor, may be published in whole or part in any media, and upon publication become the property of The Brooklyn Paper. The earlier in the week you send your letter, the better.

Keep it local!

Stay in touch with your community. Subscribe to our free newsletter: