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Finally, our predictions for the new year!

for The Brooklyn Paper
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A new year is upon us. In the grand old tradition, we asked borough luminaries to make some predictions for the next 12 months, and threw in some of our own for good measure. Some of these you can actually expect to happen, others are, well, fun guess work. So if any come to fruition, remember, you heard it here first!

“Coney Island Predictions for 2011:
Lady Gaga will crash the Mermaid Parade.
Zamperla’s Luna Park will ask the city for permission to reopen the Parachute Jump.
The New York Aquarium will salvage the sunken yellow submarine from Coney Island Creek and restore it in the parking lot.
Dick Zigun will propose an all blue fireworks show (oops, I just did!)
Instead of demolishing the historic Grasshorn Building, Thor Equities will reopen it as a Jekyll and Hyde restaurant
Japanese champion eater Takeru Kobayashi will make a comeback against America’s Joey Chestnut, eat 70 Nathan’s hot dogs and then lose them all 15 minutes later at the emergency room of Coney Island Hospital.”
— Dick Zigun, founder, Coney Island USA

“The hottest trend in Williamsburg will be Hitler moustache parties.
The egg cream makes a comeback, made with locally sourced, organic dairy products, of course.
In the wake of Neil Young’s cameo at the Bell House, Neil Diamond makes an appearance.
Print newspapers make a huge resurgence when advertisers realize that Internet-only publications don’t get them any bang for the buck, and readers realize that the only way to really understand an issue is to read it in a newspaper.
Monkeys will fly out of reporter Andy Campbell’s butt (which is really just a repeat of what happened last year).
The right lane of the Belt Parkway gets wiped out by a storm that blasts through Plumb Beach.
The Brighton Beach version of ‘Jersey Shore’ becomes a pop culture sensation.
Motorists protest select bus service on Nostrand Avenue by parking in the bus lane.
The Apple store comes to the Municipal Building in Downtown Brooklyn.
Gerritsen Beach becomes the next artist enclave.”
— Our staff predictions

Reasonable discourse

Lisa from Queens says:
The Parachute Jump re-opening would be spectacular.

I hope the City gives Zamperla permission.

Imagine, seeing the chutes come down.

What a sight it would be!!!!!
Feb. 18, 2011, 8:50 pm
Susan from Brooklyn says:
Get that Parachute Jump going.

If anyone can do it, Zamperla can!!!

Boy, hundreds would pay big bucks just to see it in operation.
Feb. 18, 2011, 8:54 pm
Brooklyn's Home for Children from Brooklyn says:
Dear Mr. Zamperla:

Please, we all want the Parachute Jump to operate and all of us are awaiting
anxiously.

Hopefully, our trip to Coney Island this summer will be to see the one and only Parachute Jump working!!!

Good Luck!!!!
Feb. 19, 2011, 4:23 pm

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