Carmine’s still here — until you replace him!

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I’m madder than Aeolus with a chest cold over the fact that the March winds blowing in from Coney Island up against my beautiful twin towers of Harway Terrace is so strong, it sometimes locks me out of my humble abode!

Look, you all know the ol’Screecher’s love for Coney Island dates back to the days when I sat around the beach eating meatball sandwiches from Tony’s. But what I’m sure I didn’t ever tell you was that, with the wind at mine and Tornado’s back, I can make it home from a Palm Sunday opening day of Coney Island in no time flat!

Now, I know exactly what you are thinking: Carmine, are you trying to tell us that you were one of those guys stuck on the Cyclone when it got stuck on opening day? The short answer is “No,” and I think you know the reason why: I can’t fit in the cars anymore, and even if I could, the chain that brings the coaster up the first hill would snap if I ever got in!

But I digress. I took advantage of a great tail wind the other day and got back to my home with just a slight case of windburn when I tried to get the door open so I could get upstairs and hit the fridge.

Folks, the wind was blowing so hard, I couldn’t get the door open.

Now, normally when this happens, some other resident pops by and lets me in, but with such hurricane-force winds blowing, I had no such luck. So I took out this yo-yo-type gizmo that I keep attached to Tornado for just such an emergency. It has a compass on it to help me keep my bearings (the Screecher is always heading due north!), and has about a yard of fishing line inside that I can use to lasso around the door knob.

Then, I slam Tornado into reverse, the door opens, and I zoom forward before it shuts.

Well, most times.

There are those unfortunate incidents where the door shuts on me and my trusty steed, trapping us there like a mouse in one of those glue traps. It’s really quite terrible.

Thankfully, this past Sunday, I got inside without incident, cut the line, and headed on my merry way. Talk about good luck!

Speaking of good luck, after searching day and night for almost a week, I finally relocated my misplaced bank deposit right in front of my nose. And next to that I found a check that had been misplaced since January. So, like I always say, always look for the silver lining playbook!

Now the time for my latest updates on the things that affect you the most — my BWECC! meetings!

CB13’s Eddie Mark was one of the guests that joined the BWECC!’s Open Community meeting last Thursday night. He gave a full report on activities in Coney Island, and invited everyone to come to Wonder Wheel Amusement Park. Mark Treyger’s rep Jeannine and Diane Savino’s Olga stopped by earlier to leave informative brochures, as did Harway’s poet laureate Mario D’Elia, who recited one of his many poems.

Thankfully, my pals at the Bay News sent ace photographer Steve Solomonson to cover Erica Kuskin’s 5-Diamond Hospitality Award which she will be receiving at the El Caribe.

Meanwhile, Ron, whose Coney Green Task arranges free graffiti cleanups, also dropped by.

Remember, BWECC! Dinner Committee Linda Dalton reminded everyone that due to the March 5 blizzard, our Gala had to be postponed and that reservations and gala info can be obtained online at

Reminder that schools will be closed this week from Friday until April 14, so don’t leave your kids waiting for the bus.

Enjoy your holidays. Spring can’t come soon enough.

Oh, and screech at you next week (except in, where my column is being canceled)!

If you would like to replace Carmine, e-mail your submission to under the subject “Replace Carmine.”

Read Carmine's screech every Sunday on E-mail him at
Updated 10:17 pm, July 9, 2018
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Reasonable discourse

John Wasserman from Prospect Heights says:
Pardon me, but I've been ill over the weekend. I have submitted an inquiry in regards to the available job, and I look forward to hearing back on this important matter.
John Wasserman
April 7, 2015, 1:10 pm
Ed from Bay Ridge says:
Why wait for a replacement?
Just kill the column and let the space breathe.
April 8, 2015, 1:35 am

Comments closed.

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