Marriage material: Local author discusses attending 30 weddings

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Weddings: fun-filled festivities or matrimonial misery?

That will be the topic at Book Court on July 30, when authors Jen Doll and Adam Resnick share their opposing viewpoints on the ceremony of marital bliss.

Doll is the author of “Save the Date,” an account of some of the 30 weddings she’s attended throughout her life, and she still thinks that the occasions are fun.

“The great thing about weddings is they’re such densely populated ecosystems where people are very friendly,” Doll said. “People are excited to meet you because you all have been a part of this couple’s life.”

In her book, the Fort Greene writer describes how each happy occasion has affected her own life. Repeatedly witnessing two people in love forced her to face the shortcomings in her own relationships and to make changes, she said. For instance, when she realized her boyfriend did not want be at a wedding she had brought him to, it made their incompatibility as a couple clear, and the relationship ended soon after.

But while Doll enjoys attending weddings, she’s no longer sure she wants to have one of her own.

“There is this expectation that we all go to these and then we get one of our own,” Doll said. “But what does it mean if you never get married? My conclusion is that it doesn’t matter; you can still live a full and exciting life. What really matters is finding love. Now the biggest reason I would have a wedding is it’s just an excuse to throw a really good party.”

Resnick has already had a wedding of his own, but he would be happy to never go to another. He says that people like Doll, who joyfully attend such events, puzzle him.

“I’ve always been fascinated by anyone who voluntarily subjects themselves to something as awful as going to a wedding or a dinner party or anything like that,” Resnick said. “You’re stuck in a suit all day. It’s hot. At least in prison you get to wear comfortable clothing.”

Resnick, a writer for television and film, describes his distaste for interacting with others at any social occasion in his book “Will Not Attend.” But he admits Doll is probably the normal one.

“Honestly, it’s difficult to criticize anyone who enjoys being in the company of other human beings at happy occasions,” said Resnick. “Clearly I’m the one with a screw loose. Just don’t criticize me for wanting to stay home.”

Adam Resnick and Jen Doll in conversation at Book Court [163 Court Street, between Pacific and Dean Streets in Cobble Hill, (718) 875-3677,]. July 30 at 7 pm. Free.

Reach reporter Eric Faynberg at (718) 260–2508 or by e-mail at Follow him on Twitter @ericfaynberg.
Updated 10:17 pm, July 9, 2018
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