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Yo, Joe! You don’t know

We think Camel is going about it all wrong in its effort to market cigarettes to us Williamsburgers.

You corporate hacks can’t cover our demographic just by slapping a silhouette of the Williamsburg Bridge, a street vendor or a subway sign on every pack. Where’s the sustainable, organic, fair trade tobacco? Where’s the graffiti, the Pabst cans, the Styrofoam coffee cups? And for atheist’s sake, where’s the flannel? For starters, how about picking one of these locally tested slogans:

Williamsburg Camel Blues —

• Whatever…

• They were cool until you moved here.

• Tight jeans, smooth taste.

• Won’t break your trust fund!

• Now with 40 percent less cynicism.

• So Kafkaesque…

• Won’t slow you down on your fixie!

• You like it because you hate it.

• Dude, those came out like three weeks ago.

• Goes great with cocaine!

— Andy Campbell