Tools

Print this story

digg

del.icio.us

Email a friend

Your name

Your email address

Recipients’ email addresses (Up to ten, separated by commas.)

Strange things are bound to happen when you cram 2.3 million cantankerous folks into 81.8 square miles of urban landscape.

And so, we’re less than surprised that in 2007, Brooklyn saw a nipple hair grow to lengths never before recorded, a landlord kicked a 94-year-old Carroll Gardener from his home, and a barge dropped anchor along the Brooklyn Heights shoreline and spent the summer filled with swimmers.

Brooklyn also joined the ranks of Turkmenistan and Bulgaria as must-see destinations, and the borough sent a contestant to Miss America, only to lose. Here’s our highly subjective take on this year in review. Dana Rubinstein reports:

January

Small wonder: Councilman Simcha Felder (D–Borough Park) rhapsodized to The Brooklyn Paper about his bladder after winning the Paper’s coveted “Bladder of the Year” designation. He earned the honor by hiding in a City Council bathroom during the vote to elect his openly gay colleague Christine Quinn as Council Speaker. “[My] bladder deserves this award, as it boldly withstands a daily barrage of coffee that would destroy most other bladders,” wrote Felder.

Deflated: Pfizer, the drug giant best known for Viagra, announced that it would pull out of Brooklyn, firing all 600 workers at its Williamsburg plant. Isn’t there a miracle pill that keeps businesses firm?

Just like Bulgaria: Brooklyn made the Lonely Planet’s “Blue List,” the travel book’s 2007 guide to 30 must-visit places, which, oddly, also included Central Bulgaria, Turkmenistan and Somaliland. Borough President Markowitz spent most of the year patting himself on the back for the mention.

Not so hot: The Miss America Pageant roundly dissed the Borough of Kings, eliminating Miss New York Bethlene Pancoast of Bay Ridge and giving the coveted tiara, roses and pageant glory to a generic “beauty” queen from Oklahoma. What rubes!

The record shows, he took the blows: Our photographer, Tom Callan, got smacked outside a popular Montague Street restaurant as he took photos for a story about the eatery’s health code violations. Further evidence that it’s a lot easier to just blog in your pajamas then actually do the legwork in this business.

February

Kid rock: Cobble Hill kid rock star Dan Zanes trounced English comedian-turned-crooner John Lithgow to win the Grammy for best Musical Album for Children for his masterpiece, “Catch That Train.” Zanes celebrates by having snacks with Father Goose.

Gibran saga begins: The Department of Education announces the creation of its first Arabic language and culture academy, but didn’t tell parents at Park Slope ‘s that the middle school would share space in their local elementary school. The ensuing protest over cramped conditions soon evolved (or, more accurately, devolved) into a campaign against founding principal Debbie Almontaser, who was later forced to resign.

March

Vive la difference: Two friends and bona-fide Brooklyn gustatory legends become rivals in that most bittersweet of winter businesses: hawking hot-chocolate. Herve Poussot, who developed DUMBO’s premiere patisserie, Almondine, with the help of his friend, the famed chocolatier Jacques Torres, stopped selling Torres’s venerated cocoa in favor of his own concoction. Unfortunately for Poussot, his cocoa couldn’t compare, even if his sandwiches are to die for.

He’s out!: Shaya Boymelgreen — the mega-developer who dragged Park Slope’s border west from Fifth to Fourth avenues — announces that he is planning no more housing. Lovers of nice architecture sighed in relief.

April

Town and gown: Elisa Zuritsky, a married Brooklyn Heights woman, used an essay contest to give away the lush silk gown that she’d ordered but never worn for her nuptials. The $3,000 Mariana Hardwick-designed gown ended up going to a woman dubbed “Ann,” whose fiancé was about to deploy to Iraq. Mazel tov!

Hope-less cause: Rep. Yvette Clarke (D–Park Slope) was the only congressperson to vote against renaming the Ellis Island library for legendary comedian Bob Hope. “I see the museum and all aspects of the island to be greater than any one human being,” she said. In a related story, Clarke votes against a proposal to rename milk after Bing Crosby.

Hamptons bound: Brooklynites shook their heads at the latest evidence that their borough is the new Upper West Side: the Hampton Jitney began making regular stops in Brooklyn. What’s next? Our very own Whole Foods? Oh, sorry. Strike that.

May

Beached: Brooklyn swimmers rejoiced that the state’s economic development arm was going to float a pool in a barge at the foot of Brooklyn Heights. The pool was so popular, and the lines so long, that Brooklynites proceeded to grouse about the wait.

Judge Phillips freed: Six years after he was declared mentally incompetent under murky circumstances involving his political rival, District Attorney Charles Hynes, and two years after he had been locked down in a Bronx nursing home, former Civil Court Judge John Phillips was finally freed. Welcome back.

June

Hair apparent: We learned that no one in the world has a longer nipple hair than Doug Williams, who had the strand officially measured in his Williamsburg backyard. The hair that got him into the Guinness Book of World Records was 5.078 inches long.

City hookers: The city announced that it would prostitute Red Hook Park to the highest bidder next summer, even though the existing Latin American food vendors have made the out-of-the-way park a foodie destination. A tip would have been nicer.

Dubious distinction: Cops swarmed through the offices of The Brooklyn Paper after it became one of 20 papers nationwide to receive a letter suggesting an Al Qaeda plot against investment giant, Goldman Sachs. The letter was signed “A.Q.U.S.A.,” a reference to either al Qaeda or our friends at the American Quinoa Unloaders and Suppliers Association.

July

Chestnut didn’t crack: Joey Chestnut vanquished the jawthritis-handicapped, six-time world hot dog-eating champ Takeru Kobayashi in the Nathan’s Famous frankfest in Coney Island with a stunning, world-record-setting, 66 hot-dog-and-bun performance.

Barack and roll: A confident Barack Obama strolled into a mansion in Brooklyn Heights and promptly declared the Hillary Clinton stronghold “Obama territory.” Then he hit up the locals for cash. How’s that for Brooklyn chutzpah?

August

Stuck in park: While million-dollar condos continued to sell like hotcakes at One Brooklyn Bridge Park, construction of the controversial “park” itself remained at a standstill, as the state reexamined the housing and open space project’s finances. Now, where are the wealthy supposed to picnic? On the artificial turf in Cadman Plaza Park? Puh-lease.

Freakish twister: A rare tornado ripped through Bay Ridge, uprooting trees, damaging homes and cars, knocking out subway service, shocking the bejeezus out of a borough that hadn’t witnessed a similar meteorological phenomenon since the 19th century, and eclipsing all other weather chit-chat for weeks.

Strange fruit: Our normally stingy editor forked over $11 for a single mangosteen. A Coney Island greengrocer called Orchard was the only market in the city where one could get these extremely rare Thai orbs. And the culinary experience? “Slimy” and “citrus-hinted” (which, apparently, is a good thing in a mangosteen).

September

Mmmm, pancakes: We learned that, like a plate of piping-hot flapjacks, a new International House of Pancakes restaurant would be slapped down on Livingston Street near Bond Street in Downtown. It opened in late December.

Heights Nazis: Neo-Nazis proved, yet again, that they are bad by blitzing Brooklyn Heights with 19 spray-painted swastikas and reams of anti-Semitic flyers. The racists struck just hours after Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad spoke at Columbia University. Coincidence? We think not.

Not so green: We learned that the underground oil spill that has been leaking toxic vapors into Greenpoint air since the 1950s is, at 30 million gallons, three times the size of the 1989 Exxon Valdez disaster, giving Brooklynites yet another reason to boast.

October

Sell out: Applebee’s hires Fort Greene’s legendary Cake Man Raven to sell his amazing red velvet cake at its Flatbush Avenue Extension franchise. Raven swore that the corporate deal wouldn’t degrade his brand. Only time — and taste — will tell. The cakes went on sale during the last week of December.

Six-year-old menace: A 6-year-old Park Slope girl was hit with a warning letter — and faced a possible $300 fine from the city — for drawing on the sidewalk with common chalk. Readers across the globe reacted with horror. Our favorite response: “I have read few things so sad.”

Maggie speaks! Maggie Gyllenhaal put the punctuation mark on our coverage of her move to Park Slope. That punctuation mark can be best described as ?!?%@&?!! Or, in printable words, she hated it. Turns out, that publicity shot from her 2002 movie “Secretary,” which featured Gyllenhaal wearing nothing but a feather boa, isn’t one of her favorites. Yeah, tell it to your agent, sweetheart!

November

WWJD? Rev. Daniel Meeter of Park Slope’s Old First Reformed Church got so fed up with the homeless people sleeping on the steps of his house of worship that he began throwing out their belongings — a move that has prompted a flurry of multi-denominational soul-searching in liberal Park Slope. Insert multi-denominational soul-searching liberal Park Slope joke here.

Say what? The city is a gift that just keeps on giving us reasons to guffaw. This time, the bureaucrats thought it prudent to fine Park Slope and Cobble Hill shopkeepers up to $300 for putting sandwichboards in front of their stores. Shopkeepers responded by cloistering the signs, forcing residents to remain ignorant of daily specials.

Global warming: A restaurant owner who touts his eateries as forward-thinking raised money with the decidedly old-fashioned strategy of hawking a sexy pin-up calendar featuring his waitresses. Habana Outpost mini-mogul Sean Meenan didn’t see any particular contradiction in the matter. Of course not: He didn’t pose for one of the pictures!

December

Napoleon complex: Apparently still miffed at the failure of his attempt to make Miss Brooklyn — the centerpiece of his Atlantic Yards project — Brooklyn’s tallest skyscraper, Bruce Ratner decided to give it another go, with reported plans to erect a 1,000-foot skyscraper at Jay and Tillary streets, a skyscraper that would dwarf the 512-foot Williamsburgh Savings Bank.

Free at last! The city decides against condemning Joy Chatel’s Duffield Street home, which historians believe is linked to the Underground Railroad.

©2007 The Brooklyn Paper