January 23, 2009 / Perspective / The Brooklyn Angle

Miss New York to roll over the competition!

By Gersh Kuntzman

The Brooklyn Paper

Here she is, Miss America!

That’s right, folks, Miss New York — the former Miss Brooklyn, Leigh-Taylor Smith — is going to win the coveted tiara on Saturday night in Las Vegas.

If not, a crime against humanity — OK, a crime against New York, at least — has occurred.

Yes, we’ve been here before — 24 times before, to be exact, since Vanessa Williams became the last Miss New York to win it all.

Our best shot came in 2007 when the pride of Bay Ridge, Bethlene Pancoast, became runway roadkill because — and on this point, there can be no argument — the rest of the country hates New York.

It wasn’t Miss Oklahoma’s fault that she won that year, I suppose. Lauren Nelson was the latest in a long line of airy blondes with middle-aged-lady hairstyles, a talent for baton-twirling and vaguely Southern accents who have hijacked the notion of American beauty.

With the raven-haired, tap-dancing, no-nonsense Pancoast, it was supposed to be different. New York was saying “no” to the beauty queen-industrial complex that drives this, our nation’s most illustrious pageant.

Unfortunately, the pageant said “no” right back.

But this year, we’re fighting back with Smith. She’s got talent! She’s got brains! She prays at the Brooklyn Tabernacle in Downtown. And no one pulls off a bikini like she does (I’m speaking figuratively, alas)!

In fact, the Miss America Organization seems to be coming along; Smith won a preliminary swimsuit competition on Thursday night — so she’s going into Saturday night’s show in a good position to win it all.

Think I’m kidding myself? Just look at her main competition (pictured below — under the great photos of our future Miss America)!

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That orange glow: Miss New York Leigh-Taylor Smith is poised to become Miss America on Saturday, thanks to her swimsuit preliminary victory on Thursday night.

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The Brooklyn Paper / Ben Muessig

Miss Brooklyn (and now Miss New York) Leigh-Taylor Smith must win the Miss America pageant on Sunday, our columnist says.

Shalem Abundance Mathew

Miss Alaska, Stephany Jeffers: I could forgive her platform — “Improv to improve” — and I could forgive that she shares a profession with former beauty queen Sarah Palin. And I wouldn’t mind that she wants to get ahead in life except that clearly she wants to get a forehead in life.

Miss Arizona, Erin Nurss: Her “program” for reducing childhood obesity is called “Be fit, fueled and fabulous.” That’s nice, but she looks like a contestant on “Real Housewives of Tempe,” not Miss America.

Miss Kansas, Emily Deaver: Are they joking? She looks like a backup singer in a Dolly Parton cover band playing in Branson, Missouri.

Miss Montana, Jennifer Hepner: She’s going to have a hard time battling the competition, given that she sees 98 challengers instead of 49 (yes, I’m mocking her cross-eyes. Sorry if that offends your sensibilities, but this pageant is war!)

Miss New Jersey, Ashley Fairfield: She is simply not attractive (and I’m not saying that because she’s from Jersey! Then again, her teeth look big enough to have their own exit ramps).

©2009 Community Newspaper Group