Today’s news:

Hepcat is not taking this couch search lying down

for The Brooklyn Paper

So Smartmom popped the question by cellphone.

“You wanna go look at couches?” she asked.

There was a long silence and then a big surprise. He was all for it. They decided to meet at 2:30 at Room & Board on Wooster Street.

Smartmom kept her expectations very low. She figured they’d look around, Hepcat would feign disinterest, and they’d be on their way.

Smartmom got to Room & Board right on time. Hepcat didn’t. Great. Now he was going to make her wait.

So friggin’ passive aggressive, she thought.

At 2:58 she considered leaving just to spite him. Instead she decided to just be very Zen about the whole thing.

Hepcat walked in at 3:05.

“So where’s the couch?”

“Don’t worry about the Andre. Just look around, see what you like.”

The Zen was working. She just browsed. Hepcat browsed. She didn’t express any opinions. He didn’t express any opinions. They quietly went from couch to couch. They sat. They looked. They moved on.

Indeed, Room & Board has many couches with many names and personalities. There’s the Anson, which Hepcat thought looked like the inside of a Lamborghini. The Brooks is post-Modern, while the Clarke is slightly nautical. The Hahn is whimsical, while the Melrose is very sleek. And the Kinsey is, er, very 1950s.

On the second floor, a rather friendly looking couch caught Smartmom’s eye — the Townsend.

“I may not be as stylish as the Andre or the Hutton,” the Townsend seemed to say. “But I’m very comfortable! Great for watching TV and reading.”

Smartmom was intrigued enough to sit down on the Townsend. It was low and roomy in a soft chenille fabric with a classic modern form.

Smartmom tried lying down on it — it was perfect for napping. She tried reading on it — it was perfect for perusing The New Yorker and The Brooklyn Paper.

Then she wondered what Diaper Diva, her sister the movie set decorator, and Manhattan Granny, who likes Bauhaus, say?

But Smartmom knew it didn’t really matter; this was her and Hepcat’s decision. Besides, a couch is isn’t just about décor, it’s about comfort and family time. It’s about intimacy and touch. It’s about doing something different, having something new. Together.

“Hey what do you think of this couch?” she called over to Hepcat.

“Not bad,” he said sitting down. “It is very comfortable. And I like the arms. They’re flat. You can put things down on them.”

The longer they sat on the Townsend, the more they liked it.

“Let’s sleep on it,” he said.

“The couch?” Smartmom said.

“No. Let’s give it some time. See how we feel next week,” he said.

“You wanna come back next week?” she asked shocked that he’d actually return to a furniture store.

Smartmom couldn’t wait for their next date at Room & Board.

Louise Crawford, a Park Slope mom, also operates “Only the Blog Knows Brooklyn.”
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