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Man defiles classy building — with his own feces!

The Brooklyn Paper

Nude awakening

A drunken defecator entered a Livingston Street apartment building on Feb. 12 and left residents a deposit that they’ll never forget.

The dazed dumper entered the building, which is near Court Street, at around midnight, apparently mistaking the stately tower for the Brooklyn Marriott, where his company was having a convention. Cops say that he had been drinking at a nearby bar on Court Street.

Once inside the building, the 24-year-old stripped down to his birthday suit and, as in many such cases, that’s when the trouble began.

First, cops say, he entered the laundry room and left a load — though not, unfortunately, of clothes.

Then, still stinking (drunk, that is), he wandered the halls nude, spreading his fecal material on the walls.

Eventually, he found an unlocked door to an apartment and entered — letting loose another explosion in front of the shocked, and appalled, resident.

He disappeared out the building’s door.

But the next night, he returned — this time, dragged there by the bartender who had served him the night before. And this time, the party pooper was profusely apologetic and embarrassed, a source in the building told The Brooklyn Paper.

The young man was not arrested.

Building bandit

A purse-hunting perp sneakily snatched the contents of a woman’s bag in an office building near the corner of Jay Street and Myrtle Avenue on Feb. 11.

The victim told cops that she had left her purse on her chair while she grabbed papers from a printer at around 1:30 pm only to return to find her phone and credit cards gone.

Conway cunning

A gun-toting thief stalked his victim from behind inside the Conway department store on the Fulton Mall on Feb. 12.

The victim told cops that the thief approached him at around 8:30 pm, flashed his Glock and whispered, “I have a gun and I will shoot you. Give me some money.”

When the victim tried to shortchange the thug, he said, “if you don’t want to give me the money, we could go outside where my boys are and f— you up and cut you.”

That approach worked, and the man handed over $300. The perp fled from the store, which is between Hanover Place and Bond Street.

Chanel snatcher

A style-craving thief grabbed a woman’s $5,000 diamond-encrusted Chanel watch from an Equinox Gym locker on Court Street on Feb. 11.

The victim said that the crime must have occurred at around 2 pm, while she was working out in the facility, which is near Clinton Street. The thief also grabbed her iPhone and wallet.

Reader Feedback

Jane from Brooklyn Heights says:
Aha - that must be the new neighborhood chocolate shop everyone has been talking about!
Feb. 20, 2010, 2:55 am
maria from do bro says:
I just want to know which building on livingston st.
Feb. 22, 2010, 7:02 pm
Judo Master from Clinton Hills says:
These evil streets "is" rough, aint no one we can trust, either roll with the rush of get rushed, cause all we got izz us!!!
Feb. 23, 2010, 9:40 pm

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