Brute whacks woman with wood on F train

84th Precinct

Brooklyn Heights–DUMBO–Boerum Hill–Downtown

Train bash

A bruiser hit a woman over the head with a piece of wood on a Manhattan-bound F train near the Jay Street–MetroTech station on Jan. 14.

The victim told cops she was riding the train at 7:50 am when the clod punched her in the head. She tried to get up and move seats, but the brute bashed her over the head with the piece of wood three times, authorities said.

Van-moosed

A pair of crooks robbed a dollar-van driver at gunpoint on Smith Street on Jan. 27.

The driver picked up the two baddies at the corner of Nostrand and Flatbush avenues around 1:53 am, cops said. Once they got to the final stop near Livingston Street, the snakes stayed seated until all of the other passengers got off, and pointed a gun at the driver, demanding his money and cellphones.

The driver handed over $35 and his two phones and the weasels fled, according to a report.

Caned

Police arrested a man who allegedly tried to swipe a Trojan erotic massager from a Schermerhorn Street store on Jan. 25 — then wielded a walking stick as a weapon when he was caught.

A worker says he saw the man lift the sex toy plus a disc player and lighter from the shop near Smith Street at 6:18 am and put them under his shirt, cops said. He approached the alleged thief, the guy grabbed a cane and shouted, “Anyone who tries to stop me, I will use it!” a report said.

Ugly theft

Cops cuffed a woman who they say punched a worker at a Joralemon Street store on Jan. 24 when he tried to stop her stealing $190 worth of makeup.

The employee at the shop by Court Street allegedly spotted the suspect grabbing the goods from a display shelf at 6:15 pm, put it in her pockets, and exit the store, according to a report. But when he went outside to stop her, she allegedly socked him in the mouth and jaw, according to authorities.