Trust Hillary Clinton to make a telenovela’s worth of turning points and juicy scandals more tedious than back-to-back seminars on fish-farm management.
Ho-hum Hill broke new ground as America’s first female presidential nominee, sleepwalking her way to the general election 96 years after her gender received the vote, but the historic part was the former secretary of state received the fanfare of a wet weekend — no passion, no pot-clanging, no hoo-ha.
It was an apt rejoinder for a puffed-up pol who investigated Watergate as a rookie lawyer, but sank herself into bigger disgraces as a public official, jeopardizing national security with her e-mail debacle and saddling the country with the gloomy prospect — if she’s elected — of inaugurating the first president ever to enter office under federal investigation.
Hillary’s dim-wittedness has been as clear as her questionable alliances, pay-for-play schemes, conflicted interests, and rogue judgements — going back 40 years! — that she’s sure to drag into the Oval Office if America bellies up at the polls.
It is a ball and chain:
• Hillary let her e-mail firm hole up her secret server in a Colorado loo, allowing her to commit federal crimes with impunity, including avoiding the Freedom of Information Act and defying the 2009 Federal Records Act.
• She didn’t know the “c” on official documents stood for classified, despite spending four years globe-trotting to 112 nations and traversing 956,733 miles — enough to circle the globe more than 38 times! — as Earth’s top diplomat and the most traveled secretary of state in history.
• Some 20,000 of her private e-mails wound up in Russia’s murky mitts, making blackmailing her a slam dunk for the Kremlin.
• She blamed her concussion for not remembering her answers to FBI questions.
Heroic Marine Jason Brezler was dumped for using his private e-mail account to warn his colleagues about an Afghan police chief’s alleged terror ties, but self-serving Hillary — who once listed her old shoes and used underwear as charitable deductions on tax forms — continues to evade justice while committing the bigger crime of boring us to death.
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