I think I’ve had enough of this holiday political correctness. According to many of you it is OK to celebrate Christmas by taking the day off but it’s not OK to say Merry Christmas. After disputes, debates, disagreements, deliberations and discussions, a popular pollster took a current survey to see how many of you there are. Last week Scott Rasmussen and staff telephoned United States residents from coast to coast along with Hawaiians and Alaskans and found that only 22% of us prefer to say Happy Holidays. An overwhelming 72% still like the good old fashioned Merry Christmas. In his breakdown Mr. Rasmussen notes that married people still prefer the traditional greeting while singles don’t really care either way. It is interesting how politics plays a part in this. 91% of Republicans prefer to see store signs that wish them a Merry Christmas compared to only 58% of Democrats. Does anybody care to tell me why?
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Tonight the jolly chubby guy with the white beard in the red suit will pay the youngsters that visit they’ve been waiting for. Tomorrow we’ll visit Aunt Agnes, Uncle Harry%u2026..OMG %u2026 UNCLE HARRY. I FORGOT TO BUY UNCLE HARRY A CHRISTMAS PRESENT.
No problem. The major stores are closed but there’s always the corner drugstore. They carry men’s colognes, razors, ice cream%u2026 Yeah! That’s the ticket. Let’s bring Uncle Harry two half gallons of Breyers. That way we can all enjoy his present. OR %u2026 we can just resort to the good old fashioned fraternity %u2013 The Order of the Regifters.
Even though we have been doing it all of our lives the word ‘regift’ first came into usage from a 1995 episode of Seinfeld. My Merriam-Webster’s Online Dictionary defines ‘regift’ as “to give someone a gift that was previously received from someone else.”
OK, gang. If you’re going to regift there are a few rules that you must follow. You must remember who gave the item to you in the first place. It would be embarrassing if you were to give this gift back to the person who handed it to you last year.Inspect the package thoroughly. Make sure that the card that came with it is removed. And this is your secret. Shhhh. You must never ever tell anyone.
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Every year the PNC Financial Services Group calculates the price tags of the gifts for the twelve days of Christmas. You know, that’s the classic carol where her true love gives turtle doves, French hens, lords a leaping and so on. This year while some of those Christmas presents are about the same, the price of gold along with a few other items has increased. This brings the outlay for the twelve days of gifts up 1.8% to a high of $21,465. Happy shopping.
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Ogden Nash was an American poet known for his humorous short poems and phrases. About sixty years ago he peeked into the future and wrote. “Merry Christmas, nearly everybody.” I try to make everyone happy. I am StanGershbein@Bellsouth.net wishing 72% of you a Very Merry Christmas, 22% of you the Happiest of Holidays and to all Good Health, Wealth and Time.
