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How to get the mayor to work on time

Mayor Bill “late as usual” DeBlasio did it again. This time he overslept and missed the moment of silence at the memorial event held for victims of the Flight 587 American Airlines crash.

This created such a sensation and angst among the families of the survivors that the Post presented the non-punctual politician with an alarm clock without a snooze bar!

The Post also mentioned that the bone-tired mayor was given two cans of energy-filled Red Bull.

But if you ask me, neither gift is gonna work.

I don’t care how loud the clock is, how persistent, or how annoying, or how much caffeine he drinks, it just ain’t gonna work.

According to the Daily News the mayor blamed his tardiness on a “rough night.

But I know better.

You see, I know therefore I comment. I am married to the same sort of guy. I’ve known my hubby Bob for close to 30 years, and I can truthfully say that in all that time I can count the number of times on half of a hand that he has been on time. In fact my hubby has not only been late by hours, but by entire days.

So I know, really I do. The lateness is not for lack of sleep, or lack of courtesy. No. It is just the inability to prioritize time effectively to arrive on time to any given event.

Since this is not the first time the mayor has been a “Tardy Tommy,” it certainly won’t be the last. So I have a suggestion for his wife and staff that I have found effectively gets me and my husband to any event late by only 15 minutes or so (which is quite an achievement when you consider DeBlasio’s track record).

Listen up, Chirlane — you need to build in Bill Waiting Time (BWT) to every event your hubby has to attend. When you get his outfit together, matching his tie and pants, take the time to pop into his palm-corder and build in at least a two hour difference for the time specified. For example, if the mayor has to be at the memorial by 9 am, then build in the extra two hour time delay of 7 am and with all hopes he will be able to get there by 9 or at least 9:15.

Now I know this is a bit of a conundrum for a public figure, especially since there is such a large entourage detail traveling with him, but with a little adjustment on the part of his staff and Chirlane, they can make it work.

Not for Nuthin,™ but I have built in DWT (Dell Waiting Time) in my husband’s schedule for the past 28 years and it hasn’t failed yet. So Chirlane give it a try it couldn’t hurt.

Follow me on Twitter @JDelBuono.

Joanna DelBuono writes about national issues — and tardiness — every Wednesday on Brook‌lynDa‌ily.com. E-mail her at jdelb‌uono@‌cnglo‌cal.com.