Oh hell yes!
As I sat channel surfing over the three-day, July 4th holiday weekend, a nanosecond trailer confirmed that “Sharknado The 4th Awakens” will be premiering on the Syfy channel on July 31. You know my digital video recorder is already set up for it. I can hardly believe that one whole year has passed since that nail-biting, cliff-hanging ending of “Sharknado 3” whizzed across my little screen.
This fourth installment will answer the nagging question: “Did April survive?” Thankfully, I only had to sit on the edge of my chair and bite my nails for one year, lest I would have lost interest and forgotten all about Fin and April.
So here’s a quick re-cap to get you all up to speed. At the end of “Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No,” Fin survived the fall from space; his dad is gone, but his mom is still in ship-shape; the kids are safe; April popped out of the shark refreshed as you please (after hurtling through space, giving birth in the belly of the beast, and cradling her newborn in her arms) and was looking upwards to the heavens as a huge piece of spaceship flotsam spiraled down to obliterate her.
Did she get out in time? Did the baby survive? Did her bionic hand save her from the falling space junk? I’m hoping so.
Tara Reid was just too cheesy to die, and it would be a sharkin’ shame for her little one to grow up without a one-handed, thrice-swallowed, tough mama to teach him the ropes of shark wrastlin’ and wranglin’.
The Sharknado franchise has been so good to Ian Ziering and Tara Reid (as well as the producers) that I can see them fighting the good fight well into their dotterage. Fin will be fending off the menacing, flying beasts in his motorized wheelchair and sharing the re-chargeable batteries with April’s bionic hand; great-great-grand-children will be in training; and the skies above us will be filled with the ocean’s greatest killing machines — sort of like Star Wars (the franchise that just keeps on ticking) and Rocky Balboa.
Not for nuthin™, my only complaint is that the premiere didn’t coincide with Shark Week on the Discovery channel, that would have really put my digital recording device through its paces. Maybe the Discovery Channel should check in with the SyFy channel when Sharknado 5 will be ready for its close up.
Follow me on Twitter @JDelBuono.
