Brand-new season, same-old Syfy.
I wasn’t going to watch it. I promised myself. But did I listen to that little voice in my head — the one with good sense? Nope.
I watched it. More precisely, I set the digital video recorder because I no longer have the patience to sit through a thousand and one commercials. I’m talking about “Haven.” The sixth season — and thankfully the last — premiered on Oct. 8 on the little channel that used to be.
Let’s face it, I was over it in 2013. I thought it jumped “Jaws” back in 2014, and now I’m sure.
Syfy went beyond jumping the shark with “Night of the Wild.” It went to the dogs. This ridiculous movie made “Sharknado,” one, two, and three, and even “Lavantula” look like Oscar contenders.
The movie, starring a very over-the-hill Rob Morrow — oh, where did “Northern Exposure” go? — has the dogs going dog-gone wild after a meteor shower, gleefully attacking all. Of course Rob, his wife, daughters, and dog escape the carnage.
This “original” flick was not so original, crossing “The Blob” with “Cujo” — unfortunately without the former’s slime and without the latter’s Dee Wallace. Dee should have had a cameo, it might have helped.
And please, what was with the ending? I shook my head with David Chase, because boy-oh-boy, this one chewed the Alpo.
C’est le Syfy.
On NBC, “The Mysteries of Laura” popped in for season two and it did not disappoint. Debra Messing is great and Josh Lucas as the ex-hubby is fetching eye candy. Snappy, smart, and good, old fashioned crimes. My only complaint is that the head honchos got rid of a character that really completed the ensemble, Meg Steedle, as Detective Francesca “Frankie” Pulaski.
C’est le NBC.
Over on CBS, as much as I love the “Big Bang Theory,” it is time to wrap it up. The cast is getting too long in the tooth for credibility.
Sheldon needs to get it together. He’s a big boy and can sleep alone in the apartment. Leonard and Penny need to live in marital bliss. Raj needs to settle down. Amy needs a wardrobe change.
And for Pete’s sake get the landlord to fix the damn elevator!
Better yet, have Howard fix it. He’s the one with a Masters in Engineering from MIT, he’s been to space, and fixed the outer-space loo. How hard can an elevator be?
C’est le TV.
Not for Nuthin™, but the studio heads really need me in next year’s planning sessions.
Follow me on Twitter @JDelBuono.
