Who is the press person for the new mayor and his wife? I’d like to suggest that the flak be terminated. Why was the city’s First Lady Chirlane McCray allowed to talk, let alone bare her soul on the finer points of postpartum “I don’t want to be a mommy blues,” and declare for all the city to read, “I was a bad mom,” after giving birth to daughter Chiara?
So she didn’t want to give up her job, her freedom, her creativity, her autonomy for the joy of motherhood. The statement was emblazoned on the front page of the New York Post article. This PR person had to have been out on a coffee break or something.
First of all, it happened 19 years ago. Did she abandoned her daughter? No. Did she abuse her daughter? No. Did she go out to work one day and not come home? No. So as far as I’m concerned there is no news here.
Secondly, what mother does embrace the joys of motherhood right out of the gate?
We all go through a period of adjustment when we give birth, especially with a first child.
I can truly say becoming a mother was the single most life-altering experience of my life — more than moving out on my own, more than marriage. Being a mother changed everything, and nothing in life prepared me for it. Not even having a pet. Nothing before, during, or after jolted my realities like motherhood, and I was not ready to embrace it 100 percent of the time, every day, every month, and every year.
So Chirlane was out there on a job, navigating all those raging hormones, caring for an infant, and being a wife. Who wouldn’t feel the same?
Heck, that first week that I came home from the hospital I was so confused, I couldn’t figure out how to schedule a diaper change let alone the more important issues of what I was going to do for the rest of my life. Being at a job was safer than being a mom.
I knew who I was on the job. At home, I couldn’t remember my name. Heck, why not stay at work a little while longer? There was only the noise of typewriters, phone conversations, and crazy clients to contend with.
Yes, I love my child dearly, there is nothing that can ever change that love and devotion I feel for my Bri. The all consuming, all nurturing, all the time love — but there are days that being a mom is not the most welcomed job in the world.
When they are little, you worry about every bump, scratch, cough, and sneeze. When they go off to school, every phone ring makes you jump out of your skin, and when they go away to college, every night you wonder how your child is, who your child is with, and if your child will be safe.
Then when your little one comes home from college and is all grown up, you worry about dates, parties, traveling. You name it, the worry never ends.
So, yeah, I guess I was a bad mom too, because as sure as god made little green apples, there were many times I asked, “What the heck did I get into.”
Not for Nuthin™, Chirlane, but don’t worry, you couldn’t have been that bad a mother, considering you have a daughter to be proud of. And by the way, get rid of that PR flack. He really should have told you to hush up.
Follow me on Twitter @JDelBuono.
