Five of America’s hottest porn actresses are coming to a Williamsburg bar next weekend to proclaim Brooklyn as the randiest place in the country.
Sorry, you’re not invited.
The party, at 507 Bar and Grill on Grand Street, is a private affair with invitations limited to subscribers to Naughty America, a porn Web site whose plurality of customers are from Brooklyn.
“We’re having the party in Brooklyn because our numbers show that Brooklyn is the naughtiest place in the country,” said David Moye, editor of The Naughty American, an online academic journal that functions as the buttoned-up foil to its naked counterpart.
On hand (and perhaps on the bar) at the April 26 party will be Mika Tan (whose credits include “Slant Eye for the Straight Guy”), Alexis Texas (“Bombshell Bottoms 3,” “Hillary for President”), Ava Devine (“Babysitter 17”), Abbey Brooks (“My Sister’s Hot Friend 11”), and newcomer Angelina Valentine (“Barely 18 36”).
Moye said the women stars were not only picked because of their apparent appeal to men, but also because they have “huge female audiences.”
“Take Ava Devine,” he said. “She’s loved by women because she’s dirty in a way that women like.” (Moye did not elucidate).
Moye said that Brooklyn provides 33 percent more traffic to his Web site than Chicago, which, objectively speaking, hasn’t been particularly naughty since the 1968 convention, and 50 percent more than Manhattan, which had long given up any claim to naughtiness by the time “Beauty and the Beast” nudged out “Beauty and the Breast” at Times Square.
Whether Naughty America’s numbers are legitimate or not, Brooklyn does enjoy some good clean dirty fun.
“The reason we are opening our new a store in Park Slope is because we noticed a big portion of our customer base is from Brooklyn,” said Pamela Doan, a spokeswoman for the sex toy shop Babeland, which will open on Bergen Street in June.
But even in hip Williamsburg, neighborhood reaction is bound to be mixed. Even the area’s would-be councilman, Evan Thies, found pluses and minues — sometimes in the same sentence.
“I love living in Williamsburg because of its eclectic, creative spirit—and that’s something we have to protect because it’s what makes this neighborhood great,” he said. “But this is just gross, and totally out of character for the surrounding neighborhood. I think Williamsburg, like Brooklyn in general, is much less naughty, and much more nice. It’s disappointing that this [event] would advertise otherwise.”
Like Thies, I myself am of two minds about the event: I’m appalled that it’s happening and equally appalled that I won’t be there.
Perhaps my misgivings/base urges are misguided: Despite Brooklyn’s reputation as the “naughtiest,” Moye vowed that the party would not get out of hand.
“The girls are not even allowed to take off their tops,” he said.
But what of our borough’s reputation?
