Squatter smackdown
A squatter beat up a landlord on Sterling Place on April 2.
The property owner told cops that some of his tenants had complained about a group of squatters living in the building, near Washington Avenue, so he went to investigate at 4:10 pm.
That’s when he discovered a man living in the basment free of charge. He told the freeloader to get lost, but the squatter punched him in the face instead, leaving him with a swollen right eye.
Cops arrested the 41-year-old man the same day.
Lady whackers
Two thugs roughed up a lady on Sterling Place on March 30.
The 26-year-old woman told cops she was walking home near Butler Place at 8:45 pm, when two ruffians ran up from behind. One punched her in the face, leaving her with a bloody nose and a black eye.
No me gusta
A horrible scoundral snatched some tips from hard-working employees at a Mexican restaurant on Vanderbilt Avenue on March 30.
A 22-year-old bartender told cops she was working at Pequena, a hip and delicious restaurant near Bergen Street, at around 9:20 pm, when someone snatched $70 from the tip jar.
Toyota snatch
A crook jacked a weatherworn car from Lincoln Place on March 31.
The 42-year-old driver told cops that she parked her red 1990 Toyota Camry at 8 pm, then came back the next morning at 7 am. That’s when she discovered that her ancient auto was gone.
Another 21-year-old Camry was stolen in Park Slope two days later. Hmmm.
Bad word
A weirdo vandalized a house on Vanderbilt Avenue on April 2.
The 69-year-old resident told cops that he was sleeping in his apartment near Prospect Place at around 9:30 am, when someone scratched the word “GOSH” into the front door.
Audi smasher
A ballsy jerk smashed a fancy new car on Eastern Parkway on April 2.
The driver told cops he left his brown 2011 Audi near Plaza Street East at around 9:30 pm, then returned at 11:45 am the next day. That’s when he discovered his pasenger-side window was shattered — and his iPhone was gone.
iPunch
A group of teenage jerks beat up a man on St. Marks Avenue, then stole his cellphone on March 31.
The 56-year-old victim told cops he was walking near Carlton Avenue at 8:45 pm, when three men began to punch and kick him, knocking him to the cold cemement. One of the thugs then snatched his iPhone and ran away.
Cops arrested three teenage boys the same night.
— Natalie O’Neill