Quantcast

Stan’s got a lot on his mind

From “Fiddler on the Roof” — “A little bit of this and a little bit of that.”

• • •

Have you finished your Christmas gift list yet? Don’t leave it until the last minute. Here’s something you might want to consider: Magazine subscriptions. They are available at almost any price — sometimes for as little as $5 a year — and on practically every topic for adults, children, seniors, and sports lovers. Google the topic and there is a great chance you will find it. There’s an even better chance the recipients will be thanking you all year long. Do it right now if you want them to receive the first copy in time for the holidays.

I did just that, and when I received my American Express statement, there was a minor problem on it. Before it became a major problem, I telephoned “Amex” and was connected to a competent representative who understood the situation and squared things away in less than two minutes. Hearing his accent I asked where he was.

“New Delhi, India, sir.”

That struck me as odd. I am doing business with a company called American Express that doesn’t think enough of the “American” in its name to hire Americans. I will write and let them know. Will you join me?

• • •

The following is from a story about a Stephen Colbert interview concerning bank charges:

“Can you at least just get back from them the $3 they charge us to take $20 out of an ATM machine,” Colbert said, drawing laughs from the audience.

Stop! The letters ATM stand for Automatic Teller Machine. When someone refers to the money instrument as an ATM machine, that person is actually saying it is an “automatic teller machine machine.” There is no need to say “machine.”

• • •

Here’s a question that’s been asked on the Internet several times: “Would you go into a restaurant that allowed guns?”

I would. Why not? It’s probably the safest place on the block. The real question might be: “If you wanted to hold a place up, would you attempt the crime if you knew that half the customers were armed?”

• • •

With the sounds of the holidays in the air, I think about all of those homeless people on the streets holding empty paper cups asking for loose change. I usually go through about a buck a day, and I still find it hard making eye contact with them. I was dining on my Sausage McMuffin as I noticed a very old woman peeking through the window. Still chewing my last bite, I snapped up to the counter and bought two more McMuffins and a pint of milk. The few bucks did not make a difference in my way of life, but it did matter to the old woman. She ate one in a hurry and put the other in her pocket. I will be on that same street in a few days, and I’ll be looking for her. She is somebody’s mother or sister or whatever. I cannot help but feel sorry for her. There but for the grace of god… You know the rest.

• • •

In just a few days, my Jewish friends and my family will be celebrating the holiday of Chanukah (Hanukah, Hanukkah, Chanuka — spell it anyway you like). This year, the Jewish Festival of Lights fell out a bit early. Some years it falls out late. I am StanGershbein@Bellsouth.net asking, when is it on time?

Read Stan Gershbein’s column every Monday on BrooklynDaily.com.