The Anbesol made her do it

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Over 30 years ago, Flip Wilson strutted across our TV screens coining the phrase “The devil made me do it.” This simple little phrase colored our language and gave us a convenient excuse when the truth was too hard to handle - No longer would we ever call a spade a spade. There would always be an excuse. It’s not us, its the devil, or the Anbesol.

In today’s world, when the truth shall set you free is not enough, we make up excuses and begin the spin.No one is exempt, from politicians to celebrities and John and Jane Doe in between, the ‘Spin Doctors’ are kept busy embellishing reality, until the lies are the truth and the truth becomes the lie.

The latest litany of spins comes from Daniel Schuler, husband of Diane Schuler, the mother who was piss-eyed drunk on vodka and high as a kite on pot driving the wrong way on the Taconic, thereby killing eight people, including herself, and sending her son to the hospital very nearly dead on July 26.

Daniel’s latest story is that she was not drunk but had an adverse reaction from Anbesol. If it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, then it must be an elephant, right? Wrong.

Daniel, bubbalah honey, face it, she was drunk. Whether she had a drinking problem in the past or not is really moot. She was most definitely drunk and high on the day she killed her daughter, three nieces and three innocent bystanders.It was those two contributing factors and those alone that caused her to drive on the wrong side of the highway. It wasn’t Anbesol, nor the mysterious lump that moved in her leg, nor an abscess in her mouth, or any of the other tales spun from the over-active imagination of Daniel’s attorney, Dominic Barbara, that caused this tragedy.

I can understand Daniel’s need to try and find something sane in this insane situation. After all, he’s lost his wife, his daughter, his nieces and the extent of his son’s injuries are unsure. He also faces major lawsuits from his in-laws and the Bastardi and Longo families, but no matter how painful the outcome, the truth is the truth - she and she alone had control over her destiny. She was the one that put the bottle to her lips, she was the one that lit up the joint.

She was high and she was drunk - not a safe combo in anyone’s estimation. Unfortunately her choice changed the destiny of innocents that should have had a long life full of great adventures, wonderful memories, and loads of embellishments. Children that should have grown old to see children and grandchildren. Butall that changed for a bottle of Absolut and a joint.

Not for nuthin’, but the time has come, Daniel, for you to face it - no more excuses -She was drunk, She was high, She was out of control. The devil didn’t do it and neither did theAnbesol.

Updated 11:48 am, January 16, 2019
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