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Ohio a no-go for Democratic convention

Welcome to Columbus: What a dump. (This space previously showed a photo of Cleveland. We regret the error, but in our defense, all mid-size Ohio cities look alike.)
The Brooklyn Paper
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Update: The thin-skinned Columbus Dispatch has picked up our article on its politics blog, calling the piece “sophomoric” and full of “cheap shots.” The digital rag proceeds to list the thoroughly researched disses underpinning our argument, but does nothing to refute them, offering only that Columbus has gotten the nod from “politico types.” Weak sauce, Columbus.

What do you get when you cross the decline of American industry with the rise of strip malls and factory farms? That’s right, Ohio.

Democratic Party honchos are still deciding which city should host its quadrennial presidential-candidate-anointing party, and the field has narrowed to three competitors: Brooklyn, Philadelphia, and Columbus, Ohio. Our crack team of oddsmakers who are in no way partisan drew up a convincing list of reasons why the City of Brotherly Love should be utterly shoved out of contention back in April. Which leaves Columbus, also known as Cowtown.

What’s in a name?

The first problem with Columbus is name recognition. Practically every state has a city by that name. We even have a public space outside of Borough Hall called Columbus Park, but the moniker is so generic that people often lump it in with neighboring Cadman Plaza. The name Brooklyn is ubiquitous, too, but wayfarers who encounter the sleepy village of Brooklyn, Iowa probably think it is paying homage to its big brother by the East River (it was actually named for the brooks and land in the area — go figure). And when we say we love Brooklyn, nobody thinks we mean Brooklyn, Ohio, population 11,169.

Size matters

No competitor can hold a candle to Brooklyn’s size, and Columbus is no exception. Borough President Adams noted back in April that Philadelphia has about 1 million fewer people than Brooklyn, which means a million fewer hearts and minds to win, and a million fewer sets of pockets to fill, or empty, depending on the depth of said pockets. Columbus has such size issues that its local paper devoted a whole article to its breaking the 800,000 population mark, a feat a local demographer attributed not to rapid-fire in-migration, but to regular old human reproduction. And the enterprising boosters over at the Columbus Dispatch couldn’t even find someone who was excited by this supposed milestone! Even the resident cows are bored!

Food

Brooklyn’s culinary landscape is famously diverse. Our fair borough popularized the hot dog in the early 20th century, and these days, it is lousy with coal-fired pizza, gastropubs, and organic, single-source coffee. We even have a $10 latte that our arts editor swears is worth every penny. Columbus, Ohio gave the world Wendy’s.

Too close for comfort

The Republican Party has already picked Cleveland for its 2016 convention. The Dems would be better off saving that battleground state stuff for the campaign. With Obama fatigue setting in throughout much of the U.S., this might be their last big party for a while, and where better to dance like it’s your last night on Earth than at Flatbush and Atlantic avenues, crossroads of the world?

The smell test

Sure, Brooklyn is home to two federal Superfund sites, deeply polluted waterways that, in the case of the Gowanus Canal, flood with sewage when it rains, and Newtown Creek, neighbor a massive sewage treatment plant. But the convention isn’t near either of those places. The entire region around Columbus, on the other hand, recently got blanketed with a noxious smell that a local described “like sewage or landfill gas,” “kind of sewage, rotten eggs.” The culprit was a ventilation snafu at a paper plant 50 miles away, and who’s to say a repeat won’t strike on the decisive morning of the confetti drop? Nothing sours that big-donation impulse like rotten-egg smell.

Trust issues

Okay, so Barclays Center sprang a leak a couple of weeks ago. We admit it. That was a problem. But what’s the old saying? You can’t install a green roof without causing a few game delays? In any case, the soccer stadium in Columbus had even bigger problems earlier this year when the scoreboard at Crew Stadium, home to the Columbus Crew, caught fire back in April. We acknowledge that Columbus is pitching its hockey arena as the center of the convention festivities, not the defective stadium, but with local maintenance crews like that, a political club can never be too careful.

In summation

Brooklyn rules. Columbus drools.

Updated 5:47 pm, December 30, 2014
Reach reporter Matthew Perlman at (718) 260–8310. E-mail him at mperlman@cnglocal.com. Follow him on Twitter @matthewjperlman.
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Reasonable discourse

howardh from cobble hill says:
That's a picture of Cleveland, not Columbus.
Dec. 30, 2014, 8:21 am
Andrew from Fort Green says:
step 1 in trash talking another city...know what you're talking about. the picture is Cleveland which immediately discredits anything else you say.
Dec. 30, 2014, 9:05 am
Nathan Tempey (Brooklyn Paper) says:
I'd like to pretend that mistake was a masterful troll on our part. But Columbus really is indistinguishable from most mid-sized Midwestern cities, as you will see when I upload the proper photo shortly.
Dec. 30, 2014, 10:15 am
da editah says:
I know the mayor's office is pressuring community groups and others to shake their pom-poms for the city's bid to host the Democratic party convention. Was there an editorial decision to assign this article to Mr. Perlman or did City Hall or the chamber of commerce make a strong suggestion?
Dec. 30, 2014, 10:53 am
pete omlor from carroll gardens says:
Your grouping of "mid western cities' as all being alike is ill conceived, first Cleveland, Detroit, Pittsburgh and other smaller cities in the same part of the country are more correctly noted as being the "industrial north". As for Columbus, a composite of an enormous, ground covering Ohio State University and Ohio State government buildings, not attractive, I agree. As for Cleveland, much maligned and unworthy of such. Not born in Cleveland, but as a student and later a teacher in Cleveland, I became aware of it's history and very much enjoyed the quality of life it offered. Later, moving to New York City/Manhattan, living in it for 20 years, my wife and I sought out and bought a brownstone in Brooklyn, decades before the more current faze of notoriety that the boro is now experiencing and becoming more and more out of reach for those this boro has always championed. On first moving to Brooklyn, I mentioned many times to my wife and others and still do, how much Brooklyn reminded me of Cleveland and what was similar that both cities have to offer. So, assuming the Barclay Center is selected as the Dem convention site and as the delegates are bused in from their Manhattan high end hotels, to be met and greeted by the " celebrities" the Dem committee is promising, ask yourself, is this Brooklyn?
And also, know of what you speak when characterizing cities of which you have no real knowledge of and as such are ill equipped to comment on.
Dec. 30, 2014, 11:09 am
Me from Bay Ridge says:
Articles like this are why New Yorkers are hated.
Dec. 30, 2014, 11:45 am
Mike from Williamsburg says:
A photo of Columbus would just be a parking lot, right?

Pete: Pittsburgh isn't in the midwest. It's on the east coast. Or the capital of Appalachia perhaps.
Dec. 30, 2014, 1:55 pm
John from Columbus says:
Really? Have any of you ever been here?
Dec. 30, 2014, 2:14 pm
Mike from Williamsburg says:
Heck no I haven't been to Columbus!

But I ate a dish called Ohio Nachos once, which is potato chips smothered in alfredo sauce and blue cheese. That was good.
Dec. 30, 2014, 2:20 pm
David from Columbus says:
You clearly have never been to the city before. You should be embarrassed by writing such non sense. But I guess what else would you expect from a blogger. Poor research and just looking to take jabs at a great city
Dec. 30, 2014, 2:31 pm
Soy yo from Short North says:
My impression of Brooklyn was a grey wasteland of unisex hairshops, 300 year old rat holes also known as subway stations and an Outback Steakhouse. It should really help you overcome your outer borough stigma!
Dec. 30, 2014, 2:35 pm
Robert from Columbus, Ohio says:
Our police officers can conduct an arrest without strangling the suspect. Until New York can lay claim to this same simple skill, please curb your delusions of adequacy.
Dec. 30, 2014, 3 pm
John from Columbus says:
Our citizens do not walk up to police officer and murder them in cold blood. Obviously this is a skill set limited to more sophisticated New Yorkers. You have much to be proud of.
Dec. 30, 2014, 3:06 pm
Elizabeth from Columbus says:
I will not even go into all the misinformation and misconception in this ridiculous rant. Rather, I'm going to take it as a compliment that you are somehow beginning to feel the heat of competition and finally realizing Columbus is a serious competitor for the 2016 DNC. Until lately, it has been all Philly bashing from Brooklyn. I consider it an honor and a sign to be included.
Dec. 30, 2014, 3:41 pm
Justin from Columbus says:
Matt Perlman: what an unacknowledged hack. Your peers bother to read what you pump out? I doubt it.
Dec. 30, 2014, 4:22 pm
JJm from c.hill says:
honestly, I think they should have it anywhere but bk. Im pretty darn tired of people glamorizing bk & nyc in general. All its doing is making peoples' rent go up.
Dec. 30, 2014, 4:40 pm
JJm from c.hill says:
to me its just encouraging more gentrification because if bk gets selected for the dnc, they're gonna be talking about building more hotels & other crap to accommodate them. I say nay.
Dec. 30, 2014, 4:43 pm
Jason from Columbus says:
Yes, but unlike Brooklyn, Columbus is an actual city, not just the red-headed stepchild of Manhattan.
Dec. 30, 2014, 4:51 pm
Tal Barzilai from Pleasantville, NY says:
Although I don't mind NYC being the place the for DNC, can't they pick somewhere other than Barclays Center? Why not MSG or Radio City Music Hall? Let's not forget that the Democrats are known for being against the abuse of eminent domain and corporate welfare, and this arena is a product of both of them and will go against everything they stand for. I could understand if the RNC wanted to be there, because they would actually support those things, but not the DNC.
Dec. 30, 2014, 5:08 pm
DS from IV says:
If the Ds want to win, they should be in the state that decides who wins. That is OH, not NY. If they want to lose, then go to Brooklyn, the Barclays Center is pretty used to hosting losing efforts. To be fair, they would get the consolation prize of hanging out with apathetic kids in jorts and suspenders who cannot afford to live in Manhattan.
Dec. 30, 2014, 5:12 pm
jjm from c. hill says:
Plus its people that still don't like the fact that the Barclays center even exists in bk. So many people got displaced & rents skyrocketed because of it. And add to the fact that nobody gave a darn about the nets about 2-3yrs ago. Ever since they moved to bk now all of a sudden everyone's a nets fan. Spare me with the BS please, thank you.
Dec. 30, 2014, 5:33 pm
jjm from c. hill says:
Its just like I've been saying along with all of these freakin' weirdos moving to bk just to capitalize off the name BROOKLYN. The real BK'ers resent everything you're doing because its encouraging displacement.
Dec. 30, 2014, 5:37 pm
Tal Barzilai from Pleasantville, NY says:
For the record, I wasn't for the arena when it was being built, and I was a Nets fan when they did have loosing seasons and still a NJ team, so I'm not someone from the bandwagon.
Dec. 30, 2014, 6:06 pm
ty from pps says:
Don't worry, Tal. We all think of you as our role model. A true leader of men. If there's a name that will go down in history as someone on the cutting edge of thought, it's Tal Barzilai. The man, the legend!
Dec. 30, 2014, 6:21 pm
Jon from Columbus says:
Your Columbus picture is obsolete. By 2015, that river will be a kayak-friendly, narrowed river surrounded by beautiful parks, bike trails, and planned future development. And it's not cloudy every day.

Nationwide Arena will host this season's NHL All star game. "The Shoe" averages 100,000 per game. The Crew, home of the first MLS Stadium, is being considered for new development. Stadium maintenance is just fine.

Columbus grew even in a down economy. They are regularly ranked as one of the most intelligent cities in America.

And the air smells fine.
Dec. 30, 2014, 6:40 pm
Bob from Columbus says:
The article refers to noxious odors in Columbus. Please Google New York Garbage strikes for photos of New York buried in garbage during the numerous garbage strikes in the city. The author of this article would be an expert in cities with noxious odors if he lived through the strikes. In Columbus, our sanitation workers pick up our trash. In Brooklyn they let their trash write for The Brooklyn Paper.
Dec. 30, 2014, 6:50 pm
Michael from Columbus says:
It makes absolutely no sense to host the DNC in a state that is going to vote blue regardless of where the DNC is hosted. Ohio (a swing state in case you forgot) is very valuable to the DNC. Columbus has a lot going for it, but before you make an argument against Columbus look at what it has to offer, affordable urban neighborhoods, a booming economy, and a VERY educated population thanks to Ohio State. If the DNC wants to focus on the past then they should choose Brooklyn or Philadelphia, but if they want to focus on the future of this nation they will look at an up and coming mid-sized (not so mid-sized considering we have a population of over 800,000), something that they have done in the past with Charlotte, NC.
Dec. 30, 2014, 7:21 pm
Milo from Columbus says:
Yeah! How dare some city's newspaper call a piece which ends with, 'Brooklyn rules, Columbus drools!" sophmoric? That's an insult to sophomores.
Dec. 30, 2014, 9:52 pm
b from gp says:
Even though Greenpoint has a gazillion dollar sewage treatment facility, our sewers are still combined. What does this mean? Toilets in low areas w/o back flow valves overflow and sewage flows into the Creek and River at all the various out-flow points.

Barclays is crushed can topped with a green toupée.

Give it to the smaller, more courteous city.
Dec. 30, 2014, 10:19 pm
Me from Bay Ridge says:
"Barclays is crushed can topped with a green toupée." -- What a great description! Ugly as sin also suits.
Dec. 30, 2014, 10:56 pm
Roberto from Athens says:
This is the dumbest thing I've ever read.
Dec. 31, 2014, 2:10 am
Jim from Cobble Hill says:
It goes without saying that this clickbait garbage article is so obviously a product of the Brooklyn Paper being part of Rupert Murdock's NewsCorp.

No one who lives in Brooklyn wants the DNC happening here and the inevitable police-state and traffic closures that it would create. We didn't want the Big Bucks Bloomy's Olympics and we need to make it clear to Disappointing Di Blasio we don't want this disaster either.
Dec. 31, 2014, 6:15 am
Common Cents from Crown Heights says:
The DNC in Brooklyn at the Barclay's Center aka the crown jewel of eminent domain abuse, cronyism, kickbacks and corruption. Please don't bring the DNC to Brooklyn, we have enough criminals as is...
Dec. 31, 2014, 8:57 am
Nathan Tempey (Brooklyn Paper) says:
Jim,

We are no longer a News Corp publication as of July. To learn more, you can read here: http://www.brooklynpaper.com/stories/37/26/all-cng-sold-2014-06-27-bp_37_26.html

As for everyone else, ouch.
Dec. 31, 2014, 9:34 am
Nathan Tempey (Brooklyn Paper) says:
(Count yourselves lucky we didn't even get into how overrated Ohio State's football team is.)
Dec. 31, 2014, 9:38 am
bovine elroy from clintonville (columbus oh) says:
Its sarcasm and poking some fun. Lighten up people. He was making fun of brooklyn with the $10 lattes just as much as he was the obese people who take themselves too seriously...or did he forget that part?
Dec. 31, 2014, 9:41 am
Mike from Park Slope says:
Please, please, please don't have the DNC in Brooklyn. Let Ohio have it. Let anybody but us have it. The last thing I want is my neighborhood clogged with protestors, cops, convention attendees, news crews, and so on. Imagine the huge pain in the neck that was the MTV awards and multiply by 100. Or, think back to the 2004 RNC at MSG. Nobody who lives nearby wants the DNC here. So, please, give it to Columbus.
Dec. 31, 2014, 9:51 am
bubba from Ohio State says:
hey brooklyn hipster jerk, the last thing the party needs is to be associated with the elitist brooklyn hipster scene. You all may make some great artisanal potato chips, kimchee, and hoppy IPA's but you are a bit slow on the uptake when it goes to the center of political gravity in the country. btw our gay bars are way cooler than yours.
Dec. 31, 2014, 10:09 am
da editah says:
Oh, c'mon Nathan, no matter who owns The Brooklyn Paper, this is pure click-bait and hats off to you, it worked!
Dec. 31, 2014, 10:38 am
Eric from Short North (CBus) says:
Aww... Brookyln is getting nervous.

Don't fret BK, there are plenty of hipsters in CBus. If you can save up some money after paying your rent, you should come visit us some time.
Dec. 31, 2014, 10:47 am
scot from Columbus says:
And you wonder why New Yorkers get a bad rap from everyone else in America...
Dec. 31, 2014, 11:03 am
Or from Yellow Hook says:
Help Wanted:

Brooklyn Paper seeks editor. Must have a record of checking facts.

Attendance in Journalistic Ethics Class, and passing grade required.

Ability to identify stock photos, and their geographic location mandatory.
Dec. 31, 2014, 4:27 pm
Tal Barzilai from Pleasantville, NY says:
If anyone really wants to compare places, then at least do some research first before making such claims, plus try to be neutral rather than presenting a bias to one side.
Dec. 31, 2014, 4:40 pm
J from A massive city says:
I wonder if this idiot author realizes the stadium scoreboard caught fire last year, 2013?

Then again, I would have hoped someone from the pompous city of New York would have done their research...or maybe he's still hurt over 2008?
Dec. 31, 2014, 6:12 pm
Nathan T. from Brooklyn says:
Hi! My name is Nathan T. I don't support a university football team..instead, what I like to do is trash on other teams.

How's YOUR name doing, Mr. Tempey?
Dec. 31, 2014, 6:16 pm
Bubba from Cleveland says:
ty from pps,

I don't think a "leader of men" or a "legend" would write about a "loosing season."

Is something not tight in his head? Screws, perhaps?
Dec. 31, 2014, 6:18 pm
John from Columbus says:
News flash! Hipster from Brooklyn thinks somewhere non-NYC is lame.
Dec. 31, 2014, 6:58 pm
WhyDidChickenCrossRoad? from Columbus says:
Why did the hipster move to Brooklyn?

To be a unique individual.
Dec. 31, 2014, 7:06 pm
Reuben Hayseed Sandwich from Columbus says:
Realistic journalism from New York, here in Columbus, the Dispatch is a civic pride booster for the Blue Jackets hockey team and Nationwide arena. The Ohio State Lantern journalism students panned Barack Obama, when he visited campus to rally student voters in support of Ted Strickland. Dispatch reporters just recently rumor mongered the Democratic gubernatorial candidate Ed FitzGerald for escorting a female Irish visitor to her hotel. The stench in Columbus is from the GOP voyeurs looking to taint the character of democrats and ensure a GOP shutout at the federal level.
Dec. 31, 2014, 9:34 pm
Eboe from Cbus says:
Oh, btw, CaptainBlogsAlot - Columbus and Central Ohio are also responsible for: Bob Evans, White Castle, Jeni's Ice Cream, Nationwide Insurance, Cardinal Health, The Limited Brands, which includes Victoria's Secret... Hmm. That's right, we have contributed nothing to the fabric of the USA. And hey, we also are an actual stand-alone city, imagine that!
Dec. 31, 2014, 9:48 pm
Dirty Hayseed Franks from Columbus Faith Mission says:
BAE and CRA CRA for Victoria Secret's fashion show!!! Les Wexner prefers to have the blond vixens strutting the runways of New York. The GOP voyeurs in Columbus would flip their wigs, if it were held in Nationwide arena. BTW, Eboe failed to mention that Columbus also hosts the annual Quarterhorse show and the Goodboys auto show at the fairgrounds.
Jan. 1, 2015, 4:07 am
Jim from Cobble Hill says:
Stop acting like the Mini-Me of the NY Post and then you can shake that association, not before.

And when is this gonna devolve into just a lot of yo-mama insults?

Either way, I plan to Air BnB my 2nd floor our for a crapload if that thing ends up happening here.
Jan. 1, 2015, 7:51 am
Bob M from Akron, Ohio says:
I'm a Brooklyn native and now a resident of Akron, Ohio. I've spent a lot of time in Columbus, 2 hours south of Akron. I can tell you that in terms of a vibrant, young population and a new dynamic city, Columbus is "the Brooklyn" of the Midwest. Students who attend Ohio State do everything they can to remain in Columbus. There is such enthusiasm and a zest for life among the people in Columbus that no one wants to leave. It would be the ideal location for the Democratic National Convention, offering a glimpse of this progressive city and just how good life can be in America.
Jan. 1, 2015, 7:57 pm
matthew from columbus says:
that's Columbus bud.......
Jan. 2, 2015, 9:14 am
Marc from Worthington (Suburb of Columbus) says:
Hey - at least our Football Team (OSU) is better than either of yours...
Jan. 2, 2015, 10:53 am
Troll from Troll Land says:
Overrated Ohio State football team? Again...you de-legitimize yourself.

Let the butthurt flow through you.
Jan. 2, 2015, 11:26 am
Troll from Troll Land says:
This piece is written like everyone outside of New York would expect a Brooklyn hipster to write. No actual research, name calling, and self-centered douchebaggery. The only ones who can't see it are the Brooklyn hipsters themselves. There ARE other places in this great country of ours outside of the island in New York. Everyone else outside of New York understands that.
Jan. 2, 2015, 11:34 am
Jerome from Minerva Park from Minerva Park Ohio says:
* Farms in Ohio feed America.
* Brooklyn is a very common name in the US.
* Brooklyn isn't even a city, it's a borough of New York.
* Ohio gave the world Wendy’s. And Arby's. And Buffalo Wild Wings. And Perkins Family Restaurant. What as ever come out of Brooklyn?
* Flatbush and Atlantic avenues? Assault, theft, property, take your pick. Retail is moving out of the area because of high crime rates and high rent. If the convention goes to Brooklyn, delegates need to know concealed carry laws, they are strict in the boroughs.
* Anyone that has been in Brooklyn in the hot summer knows the smell of urine, garbage and what ever animal that is cooking on a fire escape grill.
* I lived in Brooklyn while I was in the Navy. We always hopped a train over to Manhattan. The only thing to be found in Brooklyn was trouble.
Jan. 4, 2015, 12:54 pm
Drew from Columbus says:
This was super cute, if not wildly predictable. Oh look! A New Yorker being arrogant, smug, and elitist! No, no, Matt. That's not cliche at all. This article just turns out to be a cartoon of New Yorkers–and certainly not to be taken seriously. It's click bait. And it worked.
Jan. 8, 2015, 2:16 pm
A Columbusian From Brooklyn from Columbus says:
Awesome GeoCities site, guys. Good luck in your blogging...
Jan. 8, 2015, 4:12 pm
Matt from Columbus says:
Excellent bit of trolling, guys. Well done. If there's one word that describes Columbus residents, it's "defensive".
Jan. 8, 2015, 4:30 pm
G from Columbus says:
I would rather live in Cowtown over Crooklyn any day.
Jan. 8, 2015, 4:40 pm
D from Columbus says:
I love Brooklyn, and have said numerous times that I would love to live there someday. I was even there last week.
I feel bad for you that you think something as important as a democratic convention should be held there because of $10 lattes, an 'original' city name, and a smell that you think might exist off of hear-say. Using the term 'weak sauce' in an article that you intend on being taken seriously is comical. Also, your excuse for why you used the wrong photo is poor. You just didn't do your research and probably wrote this in 10 minutes to make a deadline so you can make your 3 cents a word to afford that $10 latte.

I will say this: Brooklyn has bomb food.
Jan. 8, 2015, 5:01 pm
Joel from Powell, Ohio says:
Nice picture of Columbus. You must have searched high and low for one that fit your narrative.

As a humble suggestion, perhaps you can include a better one, like: http://www.columbusjen.org/img/columbus_night3.png

Oh, that's right...there is no pretense of "fair and balanced" on your digital rag.
Jan. 8, 2015, 5:36 pm
Nathan Tempey (Brooklyn Paper) says:
I would like to point out that our "blog" and "digital rag" is also available in print every Friday on newsstands from Greenpoint to Park Slope.
Jan. 8, 2015, 5:42 pm
Chris from Short North says:
Columbus cops don't strangle unarmed black men to death in our streets. There are no New York football teams in the CFP, and when was the last time one beat Alabama? Furthermore, your argument that a stadium not being used, and entirely unconnected to the actual arena in play, is laughable. I saw a subway train breakdown in Manhattan once. ipso facto the transportation system in NYC must all be suspect and the DNC should avoid. Apparently, "uses logic and common sense" was not a parameter for this job. Mr. Perlman clearly doesn't know anything about statistics or probability judging by his accusations. I'm sure that communications degree looks nice on the wall of his 4 by 5 apartment, though.

Brooklyn! Your insecurities are showing!
Jan. 8, 2015, 7:06 pm
How Rude says:
You're right though, overpriced Brooklyn full of hipster ——s is actually the best place to hold a major political event.
Jan. 8, 2015, 8:06 pm
Kevin from Columbus says:
I don't know who deserves more kudos on this stellar Journalistic piece. Is it Matt Pearlman, the masterful wordsmith who obviously took a break from his coloring book to pen this magnum opus in crayons sunset orange and mango tango??

Or is it the adept team of editors at 'The Brooklyn Paper' who can ACTUALLY interpret what a half-wit can write in crayon? Maybe you can just post Matt's next article on the fridge where it belongs and tussle his hair in approval as he skips away.

Perhaps the true, unsung hero of this paragon is Nathan Tempey. This industrious fellow took time out of his busy day of watching cat videos and secretly sniffing his co-workers hair to google search an image for this piece....of Cleveland. Thankfully, another google search was performed to correct this egregious error. Mistakes are bound to happen, even when you scrutinize every detail and give maximum effort to get the facts correct, like Nathan Tempey and Matt Pearlman do. No stone unturned.
Jan. 8, 2015, 9:11 pm
Patrick from the short north, Columbus says:
I love how all the national articles just continuously bash the Midwest. Cleveland always gets a bad rap, but offers a lot of very nice things. Columbus in the mean time has a growing economy in a down national economy and has one of the best universities in the country and is home to many national brands. Put the DNC some place where it matters. OH-
Jan. 8, 2015, 9:34 pm
James from Columbus transplant says:
This article will get more comments than the monthly BP readership. But then again, how do you calculate a readership of a free paper distributed on street corners and "high retail areas?" Maybe we can get the mathematicians and economists from JPMorgan Chase, Battelle, Limited Brands, and THE Ohio State University to do the work for the egocentric and poorly traveled author. Enjoy your piss filled streets, $10 lates, never owning anything, and being a hipster through your 30s and 40s. I'll enjoy having you serve my lunch when if I ever decide to cross the river next time I'm in NYC. That is, if you haven't given up your BK lifestyle and moved to Staten Island.
Jan. 8, 2015, 9:48 pm
Wow, you're actually fact-checking the comme from Columbus says:
To rebut in a manner appropriate to the piece, we're rubber and you're glue. Nyeh nyeh nyeh nyeh nyeh.
Jan. 8, 2015, 10:44 pm
StephanieK from Dublin,Oh. says:
Perlman chooses NYC. Not exactly a shocker. You are right though, we are a different breed in the Midwest. It is part of our charm. Sorry it wasnt your cup of tea, but the condescending remarks were just small minded.You may have more to offer in Brooklyn but regardless of where you visit manners are free. Please consider using them in the next city/state/country you visit. Thank you.
Jan. 8, 2015, 10:50 pm
Jeremy from Short North Arch City says:
This article was written in early millennial hipster style I see. What does Brooklyn even look like? What are it's discernible features? I'll answer that.. A bridge. To commute to the real heart of NYC.. MANHATTAN. I do love New York. It's a great town and I hope you keep thinking the same way about Ohio and the Midwest because we have enough ten speed hipsters in this town.. But at least they're Ohio hipsters. We're pretty big on local stuff around here. Matter of fact.. I think you could probably find some of Columbus' own Jeni's ice cream at your favorite twig and berry shop that you frequent. The grocery stores around here don't import anything from Brooklyn.
Jan. 8, 2015, 11:17 pm
Jeremy from Short North Arch City says:
Oh yeah.. Hope you enjoy watching the Buckeyes this Monday night!
Jan. 8, 2015, 11:23 pm
Emily from Clintonville says:
Does it make you feel good to bash something you know zero about??? Get over the fact that not everyone wants to be YOU! I don't want to live in a tiny apartment, paying more monthly than I currently pay on a 2,000 square foot home. Columbus is home to a truly vibrant culinary and arts scene. I won't list all the great things this city has to offer, because you'd just sneer at them and talk about the things in New York that are so wonderful, but most people who live there never actually do, since it's a pain to even go anywhere. Enjoy your 12.00 craft beer, and I'll enjoy my 4.00 one! Cheers!
Jan. 9, 2015, 9:03 am
Green Goblin from Queens says:
HAHAHAHAHAHA.
Yo my peeps in the hometown what is happening with y'all. I being just be chilling . WhAT UP WITH SpiDERMans. ChECK UP
Jan. 9, 2015, 10:08 am
Melanie from Reynoldsburg says:
I agree that Columbus has negatives. However, I don't believe that it is as terrible as this article makes it out to be. I've grown up in Columbus and think it is a decent place to bring up a family. Some of the issues the article addresses are valid. However, it is impossible for a town to be perfect. I'm thankful to have grown up here, and I've had many opportunities and experiences that have been beneficial to me. :) Have whatever opinion you wish. And I'll have mine.
Jan. 9, 2015, 10:11 am
Melanie from Reynoldsburg says:
city**
Jan. 9, 2015, 10:14 am
Superman from Fortress of Solitude says:
Hey guys. It's Clark err uhh I mean... Superman! Just saying hi to my friends and villains. Łol. Kisses
Jan. 9, 2015, 10:15 am
Ein from China says:
This was really upsetting to me.
Jan. 9, 2015, 10:16 am
Connor from High School says:
Wow. I'm not sure why you gotta shred. Like...does it make you feel better? Because imma go getter. My rhymes are chill. One day they might even pay for a bill. Cuz I'm the real road kill. I hope you see my talent. Columbus for dayzzzzz. Deuces.
Jan. 9, 2015, 10:21 am
Ian from Reynoldsburg says:
Hey guy I just what to lets you guys I'am a who likes to cry. I'm a big fan of The Notebook. And the TV show True Blood. I love listening to Jared Landbergs Radioactive. I hope is one day is that I'll be American Idol. I love to sing along with Taylor Swift.
Jan. 9, 2015, 10:21 am
James from Reynoldsburg says:
It is clear that there was some personal bias from the author towards Columbus from the start. It doesn't matter where the Republican convention is held, it's not a turf war. Every city has its ups and downs, and we shouldn't focus on them as the only reason to have a Democratic Convention in that city.
Jan. 9, 2015, 10:24 am
Casey from Reynoldsburg says:
No state is perfect and I don't understand why the author of this post has such a grudge against Ohio. All states have their flaws and the author has done more than enough to throw Ohio under the bridge, but they also play off Brooklyn's flaws like they are nothing while they elaborate strongly on Ohio's. Perman states "Sure, Brooklyn is home to two federal Superfund sites, deeply polluted waterways that, in the case of the Gowanus Canal, flood with sewage when it rains, and Newtown Creek, neighbor a massive sewage treatment plant." these things are clearly negative features of Brooklyn, but are played off as nothing where as attributes of Ohio completely tear the state down. This article is very biased since I can see just by reading that the article was written by someone who was born in Brooklyn, or at least someone who was raised in Brooklyn.
Jan. 9, 2015, 10:24 am
Ian from Brooklyn says:
All places are nice for me to live in sometimes.
Jan. 9, 2015, 10:24 am
Alex (An Educated Citizen) from Columbus says:
Our facilities are in good working order and our city is on the rise. Our culture is booming and our sports teams know how to make the playoffs. Yes the Crew lost but we made it and Ohio State is up against Oregon in the National Championship. New York teams can't even make the playoff.
Jan. 9, 2015, 10:28 am
William from Reynoldsburg says:
In response to Ian:
I can sympathize with Ian. I also enjoy Taylor Swift, but unlike Ian I'm a Justin Beiber fan. My only dream in life is to meet him in person. Some would say I have the Beiber Fever, and I would agree. Don't judge me for my love, but love me for how I feel.
Jan. 9, 2015, 10:29 am
White girl from the suburbs says:
Columbus has many positive aspects of it, as I am sure Brooklyn does as well. Growing up 20 minutes east of Columbus has made me a little biased. If you visit Columbus, you could potentially pass 4 Starbucks on a 10 minute commute to school. I have not yet a single person who would see that as a negative thing.
Jan. 9, 2015, 10:29 am
Connor Mark Mullenax from Reynoldsburg says:
I do agree with that fact that many states have the name Columbus, but that's somewhat a small fact since Columbus itself is a capital and that it's the first Columbus to come in mind. Taking away from Columbus's proposed "issues", Brooklyn isn't a smooth luxury itself. Brooklyn has had crime rate problem which is nothing to take away from itself. Columbus may not be the safest city but it is certainly better than Brooklyn. I grew up near Columbus and have relatives in Columbus who say that it is one of the safest and nicest places out of where they've visted or lived in and I could not agree more. In addition to this, Brooklyn is the most aroma filled place either and again I would go as to say it smells far worse than Columbus.
Jan. 9, 2015, 10:30 am
Ian from Connor says:
I only feel sorry for weak people. And mostly what I've come to find is that the weak people are the ones that are haters.
Jan. 9, 2015, 10:30 am
Pitbull from somewhere spanish says:
It's going down, I'm yelling timber
You better move, you better dance
Let's make a night, you won't remember
I'll be the one, you won't forget

wooooo oooooh

The bigger they are, the harder they fall
This biggity boy's a diggity dog
I have them like Miley Cyrus,
clothes off twerking with my
bras and thongs, timber
Face down, booty up, timber
That's the way we like the war, timber
I'm slicker than an oil spill
She say she won't, but I bet she will, timber

Swing your partner round and round
End of the night, it's going down
One more shot, another round
End of the night, it's going down
Swing your partner round and round
End of the night, it's going down
One more shot, another round
End of the night, it's going down

It's going down, I'm yelling timber
You better move, you better dance
Let's make a night, you won't remember
I'll be the one, you won't forget

It's going down (It's going down)
I'm yelling timber
You better move (You better move)
You better dance (You better dance)
Let's make a night
You won't remember
I'll be the one
You won't forget (You won't forget)

ooooh

Look up in the sky, it's a bird, it's a plane
Nah, it's just me, ain't a damn thing changed
Live in hotels, swing on plane
Blessed to say, money ain't a thing
Club jumping like Lebron, now, Voli
Order me another round, homie
We about to climb, wild, 'cause it's about to go down

Swing your partner round and round
End of the night, it's going down
One more shot, another round
End of the night, it's going down
Swing your partner round and round
End of the night, it's going down
Ooooh
One more shot, another round
End of the night, it's going down

It's going down, I'm yelling timber
You better move, you better dance
Let's make a night, you won't remember
I'll be the one, you won't forget (you won't forget)

It's going down (It's going down)
I'm yelling timber
You better move
You better dance (You better dance)
Let's make a night (Let's make a night)
You won't remember
I'll be the one (I'll be the one)
You won't forget (You won't forget)
Jan. 9, 2015, 10:31 am
James from Reynoldsburg says:
Why do haters keep hating?
Jan. 9, 2015, 10:33 am
David Schwimmer from Who Cares says:
So no one told you life was gonna be this way
Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's D.O.A.
It's like you're always stuck in second gear
When it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, or even your year, but

I'll be there for you
(When the rain starts to pour)
I'll be there for you
(Like I've been there before)
I'll be there for you
('Cause you're there for me too)

You're still in bed at ten and work began at eight
You've burned your breakfast, so far things are going great
Your mother warned you there'd be days like these
But she didn't tell you when the world has brought you down to your knees and

I'll be there for you
(When the rain starts to pour)
I'll be there for you
(Like I've been there before)
I'll be there for you
('Cause you're there for me too)

No one could ever know me
No one could ever see me
Seems you're the only one who knows what it's like to be me
Someone to face the day with, make it through all the rest with
Someone I'll always laugh with
Even at my worst, I'm best with you, Yeah!

It's like you're always stuck in second gear
When it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, or even your year

I'll be there for you
(When the rain starts to pour)
I'll be there for you
(Like I've been there before)
I'll be there for you
('Cause you're there for me too)

I'll be there for you
(When the rain starts to pour)
I'll be there for you
(Like I've been there before)
I'll be there for you
('Cause you're there for me too)
Jan. 9, 2015, 10:33 am
Cow from Columbus says:
Haters keep hating because someone's gotta do it.
Jan. 9, 2015, 10:34 am
William from Reynoldsburg says:
I think that this article contains a lot of bias. It's true that the city of Columbus is not that great, however no city is perfect. I'm sure that Brooklyn is not that great. There are problems with all cities if we keep picking at all the tiny details then everywhere is a horrible place to live.
Jan. 9, 2015, 10:35 am
Ian from Summit says:
Columbus doesn't smell as bad as me. Mwahahahaha. I'm a smelly one.
Jan. 9, 2015, 10:37 am
Anthony from Columbus says:
This piece was a rather sad atempt in try to make Brookyln comprable to the cities such as Columbus or Philledilphia. This piece comes across more as a chidish attempt to bash a city, because you're city simply cannot compete with us. The truth hurts, but your city is synonmous with blight, uncultured, and in general violence. Your lame attempt to pull up Brooklyns ubquioty only cast its long shadow of the terms as stated above. In addition, your childish claims of size matters. While Brooklyn my be larger in sole size, you decided to decline the educated population associated to that nuumber. Columbus is home to The Ohio State Univesity, a college, where a vast amount of the Liberal demographic goes to school. This only furthers the reason to host it here, as we already fit the demographic, and there are a vast amount of people to attend the event and build a foundation. Another topic disscused is the Republican National Convention is already being held here in Cleveland. According to you, we should allow the loss of this swing state, which has been very important in many elections, to party because of Obama fatigue has streched across the nation. Plus your suposed "smell test" wher you are admiting to rives and canals being polluted and flooded with sewage when it rains. And the reference to the smell of rotten eggs only lasted for one day. Last time I checked most people prefer clean air, and water ways, to Brooklyns dismal attempt at public sanitation. On the plus side, I will comend you on your abilties to use a simple search engine to back up your hollow claims, you supprised all of us here. Not to mention your publication was revoked, only futher adding to your inability to be a credible source.
Jan. 9, 2015, 10:39 am
Taylor Swift from a dysfunctional home says:
I stay out too late
Got nothing in my brain
That's what people say, mmm-mmm
That's what people say, mmm-mmm

I go on too many dates [chuckle]
But I can't make them stay
At least that's what people say, mmm-mmm
That's what people say, mmm-mmm

But I keep cruising
Can't stop, won't stop moving
It's like I got this music
In my mind
Saying, "It's gonna be alright."

'Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play
And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate
Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake
I shake it off, I shake it off
Heart-breakers gonna break, break, break, break, break
And the fakers gonna fake, fake, fake, fake, fake
Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake
I shake it off, I shake it off

I never miss a beat
I'm lightning on my feet
And that's what they don't see, mmm-mmm
That's what they don't see, mmm-mmm

I'm dancing on my own (dancing on my own)
I make the moves up as I go (moves up as I go)
And that's what they don't know, mmm-mmm
That's what they don't know, mmm-mmm

But I keep cruising
Can't stop, won't stop grooving
It's like I got this music
In my mind
Saying, "It's gonna be alright."

'Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play
And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate
Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake
I shake it off, I shake it off
Heart-breakers gonna break, break, break, break, break
And the fakers gonna fake, fake, fake, fake, fake
Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake
I shake it off, I shake it off

Shake it off, I shake it off,
I, I, I shake it off, I shake it off,
I, I, I shake it off, I shake it off,
I, I, I shake it off, I shake it off

Hey, hey, hey
Just think while you've been getting down and out about the liars and the dirty, dirty cheats of the world,
You could've been getting down to this sick beat.

My ex-man brought his new girlfriend
She's like "Oh, my god!" but I'm just gonna shake.
And to the fella over there with the hella good hair
Won't you come on over, baby? We can shake, shake, shake

Yeah ohhh

'Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play
And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate (haters gonna hate)
I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake
I shake it off, I shake it off
Heart-breakers gonna break, break, break, break, break (mmmm)
And the fakers gonna fake, fake, fake, fake, fake (and fake, and fake, and fake)
Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake
I shake it off, I shake it off

Shake it off, I shake it off,
I, I, I shake it off, I shake it off,
I, I, I shake it off, I shake it off
I, I, I shake it off, I shake it off

Shake it off, I shake it off,
I, I, I shake it off, I shake it off,
I, I, I shake it off, I shake it off,
I, I, I shake it off, I shake it off

Shake it off, I shake it off,
I, I, I shake it off, I shake it off (you've got to),
I, I, I shake it off, I shake it off,
I, I, I shake it off, I shake it off
Jan. 9, 2015, 10:40 am
Cow from Columbus says:
Hi, it's me again. Moo.
Jan. 9, 2015, 10:42 am
Reilly Tate from Reynoldsburg says:
Who mentioned Starbucks?
Jan. 9, 2015, 10:44 am
White Trash from an urban area says:
me
Jan. 9, 2015, 10:46 am
Murray Baby from OG Burg Status says:
Yeah we from the burg, ya heard? The 614.
Reppin our status. Man you want some more?
We spits bar that go far all the way to Brooklyn.
We come mac on yo girls, we just toss out hook in.
You think we smell bad just smell yourself.
Breath in New York and you lose your health
Is size a matter son, can you not handle it all?
More people for our hockey and triple A baseball
Choppin up our food like you hackin on our life
We birthed the tomato to slice and dice with you knife
Toss it in ya pasta figule and say call us all liars
But your the ones who drool and we spit Franklin County fire��
Jan. 9, 2015, 10:47 am
Jacob Gist from The Hood says:
I call this Jacob's Rap:
Ya! I be Jacob Gist I be knock out babies as I go down the list.
Don't worry that I beat my wife, you don't know what's going on in my life.
Ya you know that I'm a pimp,you did't you see my blimp
I might be all about the thug life, I am also about that pug life.
Ya they call me mister funky, I'm all about that trucky
The End.
Jan. 9, 2015, 10:47 am
Niat (I know what I am talking about) from Reynoldsburg says:
I feel that your reasons for not having the Democratic Convention in Ohio are invalid. Firstly, you criticize the name of our capital city. The “redundant” (as you may say) name should not determine where the political convention should take place. Secondly, you hastily dismiss the issues of Brooklyn, and continue to criticize Ohio for a minor accident that occurred. Every city has its benefits and its downsides. There is no place in the world is perfect. INCLUDING, BROOKLYN. Brooklyn has major issues with crime rates and you fail to mention that in your article. Your article is biased and irrelevant, learn to state the truth more. Your statements of Columbus are inaccurate and unreliable (considering the fact that you originally posted a picture of Cleveland and stated it was Columbus). Moreover, there is nothing wrong with the CORRECTED picture of Columbus that you have posted. Yes, there are gray skies but that is most likely because of snow not the “foul smells” that you have ostensibly encountered. If you ever think of criticizing Columbus again, consider using a more prospective view while looking at both sides of your argument. Become more knowledgeable about the reality of Columbus and the reality of Brooklyn as well. Educate yourself. Think a little harder, and consider other people’s feelings more before you post your futile claims for the whole world to see.
Jan. 9, 2015, 10:52 am
Donkey Kong from the Jungle says:
Here, here, here we go
So they're finally here performing for you,
If you know the words you can join in too.
Put your hands together if you want to clap,
As we take you through this monkey rap.
Huh
D.K. Donkey Kong
He's the leader of the bunch, you know him well,
He's finally back, to kick some tail.
His coconut gun can fire in spurts,
If he shoots ya, it's gunna hurt.
He's bigger, faster, and stronger too,
He's the first member of the D. K. crew.
Huh
D.K. Donkey Kong
D.K. Donkey Kong is here.
This Kong's got style, so listen up dudes,
She can shrink in size to suite her mood.
She's quick and nimble when she needs to be,
She can flout through the air and clime up trees.
If you choose her, you'll not choose wrong,
With a skip and a hop, she's one cool Kong.
Huh
D.K. Donkey Kong
He has no style, he has not grace,
This Kong has a funny face.
He can handstand when he needs to
And stretch his arms out just for you,
Inflate himself just like a balloon.
This crazy Kong just digs this tune.
Huh
D.K. Donkey Kong
D.K. Donkey Kong is here.
He's back again and about time too
And this time he's in the mood.
He can fly real high with his jetpack on,
With his pistols out, he's one cool Kong.
He'll make you smile when he play's his tune,
But Kremlins beware 'cause he's after you.
Huh
D.K. Donkey Kong
Huh
Finally he's here for you he's here for you,
It's the last member of the D.K. crew.
This Kong's so strong, it isn't funny,
He'll make a Kremlin cry out for mommy.
He can pick up a bolder with relative ease
Make crushing rocks seem such a breeze.
He may move stow, he can't jump high,
but this Kong's one hell of a guy.
Huh
C'mon Cranky take it to the fridge
Walnuts, peanuts, pineapple smells,
Grapes melons oranges and coconut shells.
Walnuts, peanuts, pineapple smells,
Grapes melons oranges and coconut shells.
Oh yeah
Jan. 9, 2015, 10:56 am
Jaden Smith from Swag Center says:
You Do Not Know Who You Are Or Why Your Here So When You See Someone Who Dose The Society Comes Together As A Whole And Destroys Them.
-Jaden Smith 2k14
Jan. 9, 2015, 10:57 am
Reilly from The Burg says:
^^^^This is what happens when you give a class of High School students the assignment to read the article and comments, then write a response.
Jan. 9, 2015, 11:01 am
Elmo from Seasame Street says:
MATTHEW PERLMAN you need to go! Because that's Elmo's World!!!!! :)
Jan. 9, 2015, 4:36 pm
Dr. Brian from Columbus says:
Admittedly, I don't want the DNC here (and I am fairly liberal, but whatever). However, the Dispatch's portrayal of this article ring pretty accurate. You aim toward excessively particular flaws, pointing your finger in jest, like some elementary school bullying. Yes, sometimes a beautiful woman will have a zit. A flaw. She is still beautiful. This article is immature, and you act as if we threw some stone at you first. We are not solely dim-witted rednecks, but actually a diverse grouping of (yes) farmers, blue collars, intellectuals, and wonderful, compassionate folk.
And seriously...one argument is "Brooklyn is, like, totally bigger than your city" ??!
Dude...who cares?
Jan. 9, 2015, 6:52 pm
Neil from DC says:
Way to get sucked into the trap obviously set by the writer(s). The intention was to get the residents fire up – whether serious or not – and it worked. Deep breathe everyone. I currently live in Columbus and find it a great city. I fully believe Columbus would be a great host city (though personally do not want the hassle). The biggest drawback is the transportation issue. With no train service and limited bus service to outer suburbs, commuting could be an issue. But, I guess we’ll see.
Jan. 24, 2015, 9:07 am

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