Okay, gang. Start the countdown. In seven days we will be celebrating Thanksgiving. It’s Uncle Rob, Aunt Sue, Grandma, all the kids, a little wine, a lot of beer, football, turkey %u2026..TURKEY? Did I say TURKEY? Yes. I did. With that in mind I offer you the following as a public service.
A major catastrophe at thousands of homes all over America will occur early Thanksgiving morning. It begins with “OH MY GOD. I FORGOT TO DEFROST THE TURKEY!”
It ends with the somewhat traditional Chicken Parmigiana and linguini or Chinese takeout. You can avoid this problem by putting down this newspaper. Go over to the freezer %u2026yes now %u2026take out that frozen 22-pounder and place it in the refrigerator to start the thaw. It will take four or five days but if you don’t do it at this instant, you’ll forget. Go ahead. You’ll thank me later.
The above message was brought to you by experience.
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After writing about Glenn Beck losing his advertisers, I received a news article which spoke about his TV ratings way over the top making him the second most watched cable news show in America. His radio program is the third most listened to show in the nation. He has written several bestselling books. “Don’t feel sorry for him.” the enclosed note read. “As it says in this article, Glenn’s earnings for 2009 will top $23 million.”
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To me, the highlight of this baseball season was when the Dodgers lost the League Championship Series. When the Brooklyn Dodgers left for the west coast in 1958, I felt abandoned. I grew up with the Dodgers. How could they do this to me? The hurt soon became venom and I do know that I wasn’t the only bleeding Brooklynite. There are many of my vintage who still feel the pain.
On October 21st, when LA lost to the Phillies in five games, we celebrated. At least fifteen of us popped the champagne corks as we remembered the glorious days of the Duke, Oisk, Pee Wee, and, of course, number 42, Jackie. Sometimes those days were not so glorious, but this team was ours.
With glasses held high, someone made a toast. “May God bless the boys of yesteryear and may the boys of Dodger Blue today always lose.”
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And while we’re discussing baseball, fans will always remember this particular postseason for its very bad umpiring. I can’t remember seeing so many blown calls. One of the reasons for not using the modern technology of the instant replay is because the umps say that it will make a slow game even slower. They tell us that examining the close calls will make a game last 6 or 7 hours. That’s a crock. An argument over a close call lasts 5 or 10 minutes while we at home often see the bad call in 10 or 15 seconds.
Hey MLB. Get with the times.
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I am StanGershbein@Bellsouth.net giving a standing ovation to Rep Anthony Wiener for his great comment about Rep Alan Grayson. He said that his colleague from Orlando is “one fry short of a Happy Meal.”
Yay Antnee!
