Abominable snowmen

Snow jerks

Four creeps pelted a man with snow and ice and robbed him on Hoyt Street on Jan. 30.

The 40-year-old victim said he was near Butler Street at 2:40 am when he notice the group, all clad in puffy winter coats, throwing snowballs. After the victim was nearly hit, one of the jerks said, “I don’t give a f—,” and then the entire mob proceeded to hit him with blocks of ice and snow, punching him and kicking him in the face, and snatching his $150 Gap coat and a set of keys for good measure.

Baltic bummer

Someone stole a fancy Lexus from Baltic Street overnight on Jan. 26.

The 57-year-old victim said she parked her 2009 Sedan near Clinton Street at around 8:30 pm and returned at 7:30 the next morning to find it gone. Inside the car was a disability parking permit worth $250, a pair of boots, and a $1,000 motorized wheelchair.

Another bummer

Someone stole a 2010 Toyota from Baltic Street on Jan. 26.

The 68-year-old victim said he parked his Siena near Clinton Street at around 9:30 am and returned at 2 pm.

Robbed for $2

A fearsome foursome robbed a man on Hoyt Street on Jan. 22.

The 43-year-old victim said he was near Douglass Street at 8:45 am when four men attacked him, hitting him in the eye and snatching his Playboy Bunny wallet, which contained $2.

— Gary Buiso