America — where you’re free to own a gun and eat dog food

Independence Day is almost upon us, and the following is a true story that actually did happen on that wonderful holiday several years ago:

The Q10 bus runs from the Kennedy Airport to Kew Gardens Road and Queens Boulevard. I was the proud owner of Crossroad Drugs, a large retail store on that corner, so naturally many of my customers were airline employees.

I was there filling in a shift on July 4th, and I waited on and served many in uniforms. As I said “thank you,” I also wished them a wonderful holiday. I rang up a sale for a very, very beautiful hostess in a British Airways uniform and, as I did for everyone, I wished her a wonderful holiday. She stared at me for a brief, thoughtful moment and in a thick British accent she responded, “I beg your pardon. The revolution and separation of the colonies from the mother country is not my idea of a holiday.”

With that, she turned, stuck her nose in the air, and walked out.

One of the clerks looked at me waiting for me to say something. I told him “I guess some people still hold a grudge.”

• • •

The more we read about Hillary and those that worked and lived around her, the more we learn about her violent, explosive temper. She continues to ask if we could trust Donald Trump near the button. Gee, Mrs. Clinton, you are the one with that crazy, volcanic temper. You are filled with anger and rage. I think that it is you who America should not trust near the button.

• • •

We now know that we can’t always depend on law enforcement, local police or even the Federal Bureau of Investigation. If only one person was there in that nightclub with his .38 strapped to his leg, the results may have been a lot different.

• • •

In an attempt to shed a few pounds, my dear friend Warren ordered a month’s supply of diet food as advertised on television. He ate it and sent it back for a refund after one day.

“It tastes like dog food,” he said.

My one question: How did he know what dog food tastes like? Had he ever tried it? The only person we know that dined on dog food is tennis star Serena Williams. She ordered up a salmon-and-rice dinner for her beloved Yorkshire terrier Chip, from the special room-service menu for dogs while she was staying at a posh hotel in Rome. When the $17 dish arrived, she said it looked so good that she sampled some of it. She soon got so sick to her stomach that she had to spend some time in the bathroom.

“I thought I was going to pass out.”

So much for this fancy-shmancy pup food, Miss Williams.

• • •

“The United States of America needs to secure our borders with physical barriers and implement tougher employer sanctions for hiring illegals and deport those who have committed transgressions,” a presidential front-runner recently said.

Physical barriers? That’s fancy-shmancy talk for a border with a wall. The above sounds pretty much like what Donald Trump has been saying from day-one, right? But Hillary Clinton delivered those lines a few years ago in a speech to the Council on Foreign Relations. I am StanGershbein@Bellsouth.net asking, does anybody want to guess why she changed her mind?

Read Stan Gershbein’s column every Monday on BrooklynDaily.com.

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